Before anything else...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! Even though you don't read this, you deserve a shout out haha. Okai neways...

So, I'm officially in the grown up world. Sort of. I'm working full-time at a hospital in west l.a. in the accounting department. That means, waking up at 6am, Monday-Friday, so I could get to work at 8am, and leave around 5pm. I had a part-time job at the mall for a little bit but I couldn't stand working in retail in an only-rich-people-could-afford-to-shop-here-mall because prissy customers just don't help when they look at you like you're some "commoner" haha. Ionow. Wutver I'm over it.

This might sound a little nerdy, but I really enjoy what I do at work. I mean yeah, how exciting can accounting be, but I guess it's the fact that I'm part of something where what I do is important and not overlooked. It's a little overwhelming sometimes when I realize how much one simple mistake in my job could cause major problems, but it makes me want to work harder and to care about what I do.

I apologize to anyone who I haven't seen/talked to/acknowledged(haha) ever since I started working. I was so caught up with working so much (40 hours at my full-time and almost 20 hours at the part-time job which equals almost 60 hours of work each week) that I seriously didn't have time for anything/anyone. I didn't really realize how I was trying to kill myself by working that much.

I was so distracted by work that I never really had the chance to breathe and think about anything else. It sucks when you forget about everything else that matters in your life. It made me really sad when I thought about all my friends that I haven't seen or hung out with. It sucks even more when I feel like I'm slowly being phased out because I haven't been around. I feel like I'm really not part of anything anymore except work. And that scares me. I'm scared to hang out again because it's been a while since I've done that and I already know that I'd feel like the outsider who doesn't know the inside jokes. It's such a horrible thing to feel like I'm being punished for choosing to move on with my life.

I'm not being emo. I'm actually content with my life right now. I just really miss my life before this whole grown up thing happened.

Newaysss, I agree with roommate about spending money on loved ones. I worked a lot because I wanted to give the people who I care about the most the awesomest presents this Christmas. I absolutely enjoy giving people the presents that they want and see the smile on their faces when they open it.

I've been thinking a lot about my future lately. It kinda scares me to not be able to predict where I would be in a couple years. I guess I'm the type of person who has to know exactly where I'm headed. I absolutely have to have a direction or else I'm screwed. But then someone made me realize that, if I always worry about what's gonna happen tomorrow, then I'm gonna completely miss out on all the good things that happen today. So don't worry about what's to come until you absolutely have to. It'll make you happier and younger. Haha I sound like a friggin grandma.

Have a safe happy new year my babies.