yay watching the grammy’s. i love drops of jupiter *sigh*. newayss this week has been eeeh for me as usual. damnit i jus realized i have to read sound and fury tonite...oooohh stream of consciousness at work rite there...lol newayss as i was saying...senioritis is rilly getting to me. i seriuosly do not care that much nemore. ive been spending too much time online w/c is not healthy at all....and been thnking too much about prom and graduation....

prom is a month and a half away (as maria apointed out...thanx man). and i still cant accept the fact that i have no option at all. some may say that i do, but i rilly feel that i dont i swear. its not even that funny anymore. i may be able to laugh at it yeah, but i seriously am freaked out. i mean for once, i jus wana take someone who i actually want to take. someone who i would have no problem with, someone who my parents would actually approve of, and someone who can drive (lol jk he doesnt have to, but itll be nice if he
does). its the last year, and maybe god will grant me that wish....*sigh*...

graduation. i was reading the emails of my friends back in pinas and made me think. coz theyre gona be graduating this march already, and they were all being sentimental and were all reminiscing about their high shool years together. i suddenly felt like i was missing out on a lot. they all seemed sooo close that i felt soooo far away. it jus reminded me more of the fact that im not there to
graduate w/ them, and take that next step with them. im not saying i hate immac. i love immac. fortunately, thats wut i realized. i belong in that school. my immac girls are gona be the ones im gona take that next step with. senior singing simply reminds me that in a couple of months, we’re gona be singing in our white gowns in front of our parents, maybe crying, maybe not. but wutever. it jus made me realize to savor each moment i have right now in highschool. there may have been crappy days, but there sure were funtimes. let’s all make some more funtimes!

man my whole body is sore damnit! i woke up and stretched and the pain was all over...*sigh*... someone massage me now puhleasee. neways i had a very tiring day saturday, considering that i still didnt get enough rest since the bio trip. i slept later than i intended to because my sister rented "object of my affection" last nite. cute movie.

so i woke up at 7am sat to get ready to go to my lab partner's house, danielle p. we had to do our physics egg drop experiment for weds. yaay fun. after that, to my grandma's house for lunch, and then finally to chelle's debut practice. maaan that was fun. im loving chacha rite now. then finally went home, even tho i still wanted to go out. i was soooooooo tired but i jus wanted to go out of my house. but then i eventually crashed and had a goodniteynite.

sunday baked my cookies in the morning..and then went to church and saw some dude. hmm...he's not cute nemore. he's always already outside and on his cel, wenever i come out. i wonder if he rilly does attend mass. haha loser. newaysss went home and did all my crap.

dammn im still contemplating about prom. i duno who to take. well maybe i have an idea, but im not counting on it. maybe i should? maybe i shouldnt. iono we’ll see wut happens. im a loser damnit. i jus hope some people remember our deal to make prom this year a memorable one.

that was the best field trip ever! well not rilly but it was still fun. went to the long beach marine institute boat or wutever u call that thing. the conqueror! there yah go. we left last thursday (feb 21, 2001) at 12noon, and got there about an hour later i think. we looked at the invertebrates and vertebrates underwater w/ our tourguide megan (or wutever u call her). yaaay funfunfun. even tho i dint get to touch the mud with the worms and other stuff, and fishies (coz i jus dint want to), it was still fun. freetime is always good! we had a whole lota freetime rite after our stroll in the beach...and the playground wihihi...dinner finally came and the seastars got to eat first yay. lasagna and bread and salad n all that other stuff. very good food jus bcoz i was hungryy...after that everyone was jus chillen like a villain playing uno and watching princess bride. (which i dint finish watching coz i went up deck coz it was so pertyy at night). of course me, chelle, and maria had to had our lil talk about dramas in life. i know this field trip was supposed to be away from drama, but this was a different kind of drama..sort of. we finally had to go to bed but some people jus dint want to...but its all good. roxy and her loud mouth, jai and her diskman, christine t., maxcell and wendy's cool bottom bunks, ashley and monique's top bunk (w/c looked so much wider than everyone else's), chelle and my flashlight, and who could forget maria's 30 minute quest in climbing up her bed. but eventually, everyone got tired n jus crashed. next day is kayaking day yaaay. i wasnt rilly worried about it b4, but wen i thot about it i was a lil afraid. but wen i saw other people riding, i was a bit excited. funfunfun under the sun w/ chelle n maria again of course. can never forget our left...right...left...right...left...oooh wait right right right right... LOL. that was fuuuuun. maaan my arms are gona be sore tomorrow damnit. that was some major arm workout. but it was all fun so im not complaining. funfunfun under the sun! lunch time came and i had rice n salad n chips..no burritos for me coz it had beef-->no meat today. thnx for reminding me chelle n maria. i couldve sinned today if it werent for u guys. after that we were getting ready to leave and go back to school. jus chilled in the caf till school was over. went home. so happy to see my bed once again.

i survived today yaaaay. i actually got through the whole day and all my friggin tests. i actually thought they werent as bad as i expected....especially bio (roite chelle?)...but i dont wana say nething nemore coz i jus mite jinx it and thats not pretty...oh yaah thanx tito jaime for the prayers...i guess they worked, but we'll see. wehehehe...anywaayss yay tomorrow's the bio trip! im so gona fall of tha kayak i swear...im too scurred...but its all good in tha hood...a nite away from home is jus pure heaven...and not only time away from home....but also time away from drama and all that....rite?...rite.

i have too much crap happening tomorrow and im planning on doin it in a little while. coz if i dont start it rite now, i mite not be getting any sleep tonite.....1) study for ap bio test tom....2) study for precalc test tom.....3) have to catch up w/ my literary circle coz i havent been reading... waaaaah do i dare do all these things tonite?!? oh well we'll see if i survive. dont be surprised if i look like a zombie tom.

newayss...this whole college thing is getting to me again. i know im not supposed to be worried as much nemore, coz applications are over... but im scared that i wont get into a school (i stil havent heard from any). i know im exaggerating...but still. my sister told me something the other day that im not supposed to know yet. but wutever. she told me i will be getting a car.......BUT....... thats if i get into ucla....damnit....i guess im not getting a car then. my mom's crayzeee...she jus doesnt know the pressure i feel everytime they talk about that. i mean they're not telling it to my face. but i can still feel the pressure. i dont wana feel like the loser. jus coz my sister got in that frigin school doesnt necesarily mean i will too. it rilly bothered me the other night. i know im always pessimistic about everything. but hey, u cant blame me. im jus being realistic.

i was thinking, maybe the reason why i make sure, that i at least try to do good in school, is because i dont wana be the loser in the family. im scared that if i dont do well in school, id be the daughter theyre not gona be proud of. why does my sister have to make it so much harder for me? damnit im sad. i cant blame her for being a nerd i know. but still...wutever...im jus gona shutup and pray.

who wants to ditch school tom? =/...im still slacking of as usual..but its all good.. coz i dont rilly give...neways went to the mall today to use some of my gift cards from my birthday..yay

okai i jus typed up my whole weekend and wen i posted the friggin page "has expired" and so i lost all of it damnit..
lemme try to remember wut i wrote............yaaay three day weekend....i thot i was gona be a nerd friday nite...but then chelle came to the rescue and called me. "tito jaime" (thnx for bringing me back home safe tito..wahaha), bel (no more drinking for u), and chelle (oi dont forget to tell me a story later) picked me up and we went to melissa's and cool fartnah's house. watched funtime movies.... and yay i dint get in trouble! saturday my sister dragged me to barnes to look for scholarships n stuff...then i went to family party at walnut. i wanted to go to the valley w/ some people over here...but then i jus went to spend some quality time w/ cousins neway. had a nice girl talk w/ my cousin yaay. and now its sunday and im feelin sad coz it means i have to do work...or maybe not...we'll see

oh yah my valentine drama is gone thank god...it was jus because of all the flowers n stuff that made me feel that way...but its all good in the hood now.

HAPPY LUV DAY! rilly now? i decided to face this day with a positive attitude even though i dont have a V. rite chelle? yeah...positive energy all the way...maybe not...okai yeah ive been the bitter-est person ive known in my whole life, and i kinda thought that my bitterness majorly grows each and everyday. I duno why, thats jus me. so i decided to be positive just for one day. positive positive positive all the way. did i succeed? unfortunately, not. i was listenin to my usual sappy songs, doin my homework, watchin the tv, while talkin to my sister on the fone. i told her about my positive vibe for today. but rite after i got off the fone, everything jus fell apart. i have no idea why. i jus started to cry. it's not jus coz of stupid vday. well maybe its partly bcoz of that. but thats not the whole of it. its jus the fact that i feel that there is something missing there. ill admit that sometimes i dont rilly care about anything thats happening or not happening in my life. but tonite, i felt that missing piece. damnit im being histrionic (wahaha sat word meaning overly dramatic. thanx sue, i still remmber that word). im pretty sure this'll pass in a couple of hours. i jus need to occupy my mind with school shit so that i wouldnt be thinking about these kinds of stuff. damnit im a loser.

finalllyyyy i decided to blog my mind out....wehehehe....jus testing testing testing
if this actually works =)