I'm in a new relationship. It started out just the way it's supposed to, fun and interesting. It's the kind where I wake up every morning looking forward to spending my time and investing energy in it because it's something new and exciting. I can't get enough of it that it's almost addicting. I told myself that this is a start of something good. I want it to work. I want it to last. Inevitably, after a couple of months, I noticed some changes. Good changes, bad changes. Of course, I noticed more of the bad. Things started getting a little more difficult to understand, it wasn't as fun as it was in the beginning, and instead of being excited about learning something new everyday, I dreaded it. I was ready to give up. As usual. Same cycle once again. I ask myself why I always end up in this situation. Why does it always seem like once I'm up at the highest point, there's nowhere else to go but down. And once I'm down, I don't seem to make an effort to get up. So I run away, scared that I will be in that hole forever. It's ironic how much I fear I won't measure up to what is expected of me, when the expectations that I'm trying to meet are simply my own. I tried to toughen up, tried to ignore the real issues, and hoped it'll miraculously get better. Naturally, it didn't. It was at a point where I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about it. It was not the way I want to live my life. And so I knew it was time I stopped the ugly cycle. It was time to see what was weighing me down. It was time to see the good. It wasn't too long after that when I realized how much there is to appreciate in this relationship. It has definitely been the one thing that has kept me going all this time. It's been the constant thing in my life that I truly care about. I've lost sight of the fact that this has been what I've been wanting all my life; the experience of being considered as an important part of something great. I've forgotten how much I've sacrificed to get to where I am now. I finally realized that I am truly blessed to be part of something that I will spend the rest of my life trying to give my best in all that I do, not because I have to but because I want to. I'm in this relationship because I want to be. And I will do whatever it takes for me to finally say that I'm glad I've taken on this position because I am good at it and I enjoy doing it. It is a love-hate relationship, but despite the bad days (because there will always be bad days) I could honestly say that there are moments when I could just proclaim to the whole world how much I love my job.