Kiss Me Kate with the E4L crew on Friday night and then In N Out. That was kinda weird since we didn't have our usual Denny's atmosphere with Omar. Anyways, got back to the apartment and helped Rona make Gazpacho for Pam's bday. It surprisingly went well. Good job Rone!

Saturday was homeless outreach. I wasn't gonna go to LA with them because I reallly needed to study, but they needed people and I thought, what's more important, missing a couple hours of studying or feeding a starving person on the street? And so I went. It's the same feeling every time. It was slap of reality in the face. It hurts and it's real. After that, I had the best date with the most beautiful person alive *wink*. Kalesa Grill and naptime. Who can ask for more? Thank you again, beautiful. See, our time finally came.

Saturday night, helped David cook Spanish Croquetas for Pam's bday. It was pretty good, despite the fact that it was still "cheesy" in the inside. Haha. But goodtimes, goodtimes. Went to Pia's for Pam's spanish bday dinner. It was sooooooooooo good. We had the tapas of course: calamari, croquetas, gazpacho, and this salmon on bread topped with breadcrumbs, and sangria. And then we had the oh-so-good paella. Then port wine with the brownie dessert. And last but not the least, churros con chocolate. Oh man. Dude. All of these was made from scratch btw. It was the best dinner ever. Man o man. Then we went to Pam's dorm for yet another surprise. Yay Pamela! Hope you had a good time you deserve it all! I love you. Didn't feel so good afterward so went straight to bed.

Sunday, went to noon mass, back to the apartment for lunch, attempted to start studying which kinda worked but not really. Too many distractions. And now, Monday, I'm at work, "working".

Finals week and I have a love-hate relationship. I love it because it's pretty much a chill week, but not really. I hate it coz, well, it's finals week. It just sucks because everyone seems to be done Thursday while I'm not. Dengit. I'm thinking of being in hiding this whole week. Just go far far away where no one knows where I am and then just pop out of nowhere when it's all over. Maybe that will push me to study. Eh wutever.

I'm sick.

I'm sleepy.

I'm tired.

But I'm alive. Yehey.

Wow this post is kinda blah.

Okai, I need to get my study on foreal. Payce.

I think I'm gonna screw up my gpa this quarter. I just spent this whole week attempting to finish my paper (NOTE: attempting) so that I don't have to stay up late the night before it's due. Of course I ended up finishing at 4am, five hours before it's due. Yeah senioritis.

I'm done with finals on the last day at 3:30pm. So if you're done waaay before that, don't come near me until Friday at 3:30pm or else you will get hurt.

I will apologize in advance for not being able to come to the LA Marathon. I know I suck but I just can't afford to not study on Sunday. I'm so sorry! I will be there in spirit, cheering you on. I swear!

On Wednesday, my Tagalog kids did skits from the movie "Dubai". I was so proud and impressed I wanted to cry. Okai jk. But seriously. They all make me so proud. Talagang solid! Hahaha.

So I remember talking to a friend about opening up to people and telling them your problems, thoughts, feelings about anything. And I told her the reason why I don't open up to some people is because I don't think they would care about what I have to say anyway. It's not a diss to them or anything, it's just how I feel. I don't open up because I don't really think it matters to them if I do. And that's fine with me. Sometimes. Coz I already know who I could turn to when I needed them. I also realized that the ones who I don't really run to to tell my problems are the ones who are very open about their problems to me. I mean I'm thankful and flattered that they trust me with all that. But sometimes that's what holds me back from telling them about my life. I feel like I have to be the stronger one, the one who takes it all in and absorbs everything. Anyways...

I'm not going home this weekend coz it's finals week. I really like going home because I get spoiled at home. I also like spending time with the family because they always make me laugh. Even though they always call me fat. Haha. I love, love, love, love, love and did I say love, hearing my parents laughing when they're talking and making fun of each other. Makes me feel good to know that someday, when me and my sister are all "grown'd up", we know that they will be fine.

Random thoughts...

Apparently, I've been spoiled too much (not by my family). I guess I was. Not anymore though. And it sucks.

People bug me. I need to be more patient.

Instability scares me.

Wow I'm kinda broke.

Mmmmmmm ube ice cream.

I hate the rain.

I'm gonna end this post with a song that I thought I would never ever hear again after high school Mary's day. But No Joke sang it beautifully and I could listen to it over and over and over and over again. Amen. Haha.


Hail Mary
Full of Grace
The Lord is with you
Blessed art you among women
And blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus formed in your faith
Ave Maria Alleluia
Jesus formed in your love
Ave Maria Alleluia

Ave Maria
Gratia plena
Dominus tecum
Benedicta tu in mulieribus
Et benedictus fructus ventris
Ventris tuae, Jesus.
Sancta Maria
Mater Dei
Ora pro nobis peccatoribus
Nunc et in hora mortis nostrae
Amen.

I was never really good at affirmations. First of all, I never know what to say to the person. Second of all, I don't know how to react to anything said about me, good or bad. Lastly, sometimes I feel like it's more of a confrontation than an affirmation, and I'm never really good at confrontation either. I'm the type of person who keeps everything in, won't say a word about what's bothering me, until someone tries really hard to pry it out in me. There are some people who don't need to try hard to do that. But there's still others who need to keep trying until I finally say something.

Anyways...

Okai I admit it. I've always had trouble committing to anything. Which is funny when I think about it because I've always thought of myself as someone very reliable in anything that anyone asks of me. I guess I'm not? Or maybe being committed to something doesn't necessarily mean being reliable. I'm not even sure if I'm making sense right now. The reason why I don't commit to anything sometimes is not because I don't want to. It's because I don't want to promise anything and then break that promise later on if something comes up. This might only make sense to one person so I'm sorry if I'm not making sense right now.

Whatever...

So I seem to get myself in certain situations only to realize later on that I don't know how and why I'm in it. I want to think that I get myself in them for a reason, and hopefully those reasons are worth it. But I can't help but wonder why. There has to be something there that makes me want to stay. I hope I find that something soon.

I'm averaging four hours of sleep every night and it's not gud (even though I would still say "that's guuud"). I'm always late for my 9am class on MWF. How am I supposed to survive having an 8am class next quarter? I don't know. But I just have to suck it up and deal with it because that's what I do.

I haven't hung out with Liwanag people in a looooooooooooooong time. I feel a little detached just because I'm so caught up with everything else I'm involved in. I shall make up for it soon. I miss those kids foreal.

Friggin Pamela made me think about things that I didn't really care about before. You suck Pam. I don't think I can put it on here, but it just makes me wonder sometimes. Yeah pulling a Meechy. Hahaahaha.

My car is dying. Slowly but surely. Man. Now my parents are gonna blame me for it. But it was already dying in the first place. Dengit. Window adventures are always fun right Daniel? Dude, I was sad about that caramel empanada foreal.

Fatty fattness is all I see when I look at the mirror (And all I hear at home. Ugh.) Someone drag me to the arc please (*cough* David *cough*).

I think I need E4L and roommate dinner soon. It's been too long.

I realized that I have yet to break down the walls that I put up around me when it comes to relationships.

Blessed sacrament at Our Lady of Lourdes, you've been home for the past two weeks. Thank You.

Blog dedications are hot. Haha. Thanks for making me smile like this :D.

Congratulations to PASS for another successful Conference! We are way cool kids.

Chomp and Black Star Canyon night funtimes kids.

Thanks for an awesome (somewhat scary) Friday night David, Rone, Arnold. I lost a button from my shirt. Not cool. Maybe that's why I was super cold. Haha. I have a bruise on my left arm and I have no idea why. I think one of you guys might have caused it. Goodtimes, goodtimes.

Dude, pics coming soon foreal.