hardcore week this week: two midterms wednesday and an article to talk about...essay thursday....sholarship essays by this weekend. im too tired.

so lately ive been rilly busy and always tired, but i like it coz it better boredom. im happy becoz i got wut i wished and prayed for...to be busy haha. its kind of a funny thing to wish for i know, but i have my reasons. its jus that wenever im not busy, i feel so useless and depressed coz i start thinking about things that make me even sadder. so being busy is gud becoz it means no worries....haha sorry if im not making sense.

im liking life rite now. i feel rilly happy wen im surrounded with people i love and enjoy spending time with. sumtimes i feel that i dont deserve all these awesome people in my life. i guess i can say im enjoying irvine, and i just wish everything can be perfect all the time. but i know it cant.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i jus lost the post i wrote demnit! lets try to rewrite...

yay im blogging! finally! im gona try to update it more often now becoz i wana be cool like everyone else. yaaaay! so heres my life so far...

SCHOOL
im doing better than i expected! i got a nine out of ten in my first math quiz (when i thought i was gona get a 1) and i participated in my women's studies discussion (cookie for me) and ive been doing my readings (sumtoimes). school is cool. so far.

WORK
so ive been looking for a job since summer. but no one wanted me so i dint have a job...until this week! i went on four interviews and i got three job offers =). just wen i thought i was some useless piece of $#@!...they call me and tell me they wana hire me. :tears of joy: :sniff sniff snif:

WYSE (Women and Youth Supporting Each Other)
wyse is an orgnization that mentors twelve to fourteen yr old young girls. this year, im a mentor in the spurgeon middle school in santa ana. we've only been to two sessions with our girls and its been fun so far. we get to play games while getting to know them in a deeper level, so we can talk about issues that these girls need to be aware of (sex, drugs, family probs, school probs, peer pressure, future goals/plans, anything else). its kind of a weird feeling being somewhat of a "role model" for these girls coz i dont rilly feel worthy of being looked up to. sad but true. but ill still try.

ANNIV
happy fifteen months today. yehey.

FUN STUFF
sierra party here last nite. i volunteered to be the sober one (meaning the one who would have to deal with the cops in case they come knocking on our door) but i still had fun. it was nice to meet the adorable new sierrans and see old sierrans too. thanx to everyone who helped us fix up the apartment and clean and look after people and stuff like that. you know who you are. you're da bomb diggity.

LIWANAG (light of god)
i jus joined liwanag this year and i can already see how amazing these people are. i didnt think i was gona stick with it till i came to their meetings n bonfire n homeless outreach. these people are seriously the most welcoming group of people ive ever met. i cant even express how happy i am to be part of it. i jus wish i joined it earlier (but i couldnt coz of sierra class last year). theyre so awesome its not even funnie. haha. cristina n leo are the coolest directors this year. my tdg family (true disciples) rocks (go mom francha). and everyone else is great. liwanag is the coolest thing ever.

life does not suck as much as before. thank you god for listening to me =).

too many heartaches bottled up inside
i dont even wana bother let it all out coz it seems pointless
ill jus end up crying my eyes out
but hey theres jus some people who make it all better even for jus a short while
they dont know how much laughter means to me
it feels great
but sometimes
i jus need to do my own thing
i need to be stronger
i need faith
well...i need to chillax
but i cant
so wat am i supposed to do?
i don't know
maybe i should cry some more
haha
nope
i need to hold on and believe
yeah rite
thats bullshit
wutever
ionow
we'll see wut happens
rite now
i jus need to do my shit
that's all
gnite

Think Of Me
by Mark Schultz & Rachel Lampa

Packing my bag this morning was the hardest thing to do,
But packing my bag was so easy compared to standing outside your door
right now to say goodbye,

Think of me...
I know you've never seen me cry,
Think of me...
But it's so hard to say goodbye,
Think of me...
what can I say to show you,
I'll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you

I will be there when you call
I will see you through it all
and even in your darkest hour,
I pray that the Lord we found
Will set you on solid ground

I know that it feels like leaving
is a part of letting go
But I'm praying with hope and believing
That I'll see you once again down this road
I hope that it won't be long

Think of me...
I know God brought you as a friend,
Think of me...
I know he'll bring you back again,
Think of me...
What can I say to show you,
I"ll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you

I will be there when you call
I will see you through it all
and even in your darkest hour,
I pray that the Lord we found
Will set you on solid ground

Think of me...
I know you've never seen me cry
Think of me...
But it's so hard to say goodbye
Think of me...
What can I say to show you
I'll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you

I will be there when you call
I will see you through it all
and even in your darkest hour,
I pray that the Lord we found
Will set you on solid ground

Interesting thought that my professor in my Psych class said:

"Happiness is the process of not being afraid of unhappiness."

What do u think? Very true.

last week i felt loike $#@!
this week i feel much better
how did that happen?
i dealt with it.

oooh yah

July 18, 2003

HAPPY ONE YEAR HUN =)

July 17, 2003

Maroon 5
Counting Crows
John Mayer

Funtoimes.

And once again, another quote of the day from Sue:

XchopYsueyZ (2:00:24 PM): i wanna be home w/ my girls
XchopYsueyZ (2:00:29 PM): loike real girls
XchopYsueyZ (2:00:31 PM): not wannabe girls

Convo of the day with Chelle:

i am meechy keen (5:43:40 PM): i hate this summer
Buthafly (5:44:45 PM): i know it sux
Buthafly (5:44:51 PM): theres nuttin to do
i am meechy keen (5:44:56 PM): seriously
i am meechy keen (5:45:00 PM): i have NO:
i am meechy keen (5:45:02 PM): job
i am meechy keen (5:45:09 PM): fun
i am meechy keen (5:45:12 PM): books
i am meechy keen (5:45:15 PM): license
i am meechy keen (5:45:16 PM): boy
i am meechy keen (5:45:20 PM): sleep
i am meechy keen (5:45:28 PM): food
i am meechy keen (5:45:39 PM): even though i shouldnt have the food
i am meechy keen (5:45:40 PM): lol
i am meechy keen (5:45:43 PM): NO:
i am meechy keen (5:45:45 PM): gym
i am meechy keen (5:45:49 PM): money
i am meechy keen (5:45:52 PM): man o man
i am meechy keen (5:45:55 PM): i have nothing
i am meechy keen (5:45:56 PM): nothing
i am meechy keen (5:45:57 PM): nothing
Buthafly (5:46:02 PM): bwhahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha
i am meechy keen (5:46:05 PM): if i dont have u

guess who got her license today?!?!?!?!?

XchopYsueyZ (1:31:15 PM): i just wish i could find one straight boy for me n the rest of the world can be gay

And yes, I'm still alive!

the last few weeks of school have been crazy. foinals and all that crap: over!

the very last week of school was fun interesting toimes all the toime. yeaaahp. fun interesting toimes indeed.

move out day was the worst day. sierra has been one of the greatest things that has happened to me, and leaving was one of the hardest things i've ever done. i'll miss you all. we need to party hardcore next yr!

so neways, this summer i wana be productive. summer school, summer job, volunteer. yeahp thats roite. u think i can do it? of course i can. i think. we'll see.

thanx sue.

demnit i need to blog

Complicated Melody
by
India Arie

If he were a color
He'd be a deep dark forest green
If he were a car
He'd be a long stretch limousine
With room for all of humanity inside

Cause he is so giving
And he is so wise
If he were a number
He'd be a five
Cause he has such a brilliant mind
If he were an animal
He'd be an ass
Cause he's so stubborn sometime
But if he were a song
He'd be a complicated melody
That complicated fellow he
I almost cannot sing it on key
But he means the world to me
If he were a building
He'd be a beautiful cathedral
Cause he's so traditionally spiritual
If he were a dance
He'd be complicated like the tango
Exotic like a mango
But if he were a song
He'd be a complicated melody
That complicated fellow he
I almost cannot sing it on key
But he means the world to me
He ain't the reason for the sun and the moon
He is just the reason for this here tune
Cause he means the world to me
Said he means the world to me
Me me me yeah
He means the world to me yeah
Complicated melody that complicated fellow he
He's complicated melody
I almost cannot sing it on key

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My Mother Taught Me...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about PATIENCE. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14.My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. " Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP . "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. " Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite : my mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

______________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Best Things In Loife (highlighted ones are extra special to me)

> 1. Falling in love.
>
> 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
>
> 3. A hot shower.
>
> 4. No lines at the supermarket.
>
> 5. A special glance.
>
> 6. Getting mail.
>
> 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
>
> 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
>
> 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
>
> 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
>
> 11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
>
> 12. Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla!) (or strawberry).
>
> 13. A long distance phone call.
>
> 14. A bubble bath.
>
> 15. Giggling.
>
> 16. A good conversation.
>
> 17. The beach.
>
> 18. Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.
>
> 19. Laughing at yourself.
>
> 20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
>
> 21. Running through sprinklers.
>
> 22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
>
> 23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
>
> 24. Laughing at an inside joke.
>
> 25. Friends.
>
> 26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
>
> 27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
>
> 28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
>
> 29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
>
> 30. Playing with a new puppy.
>
> 31. Having someone play with your hair.
>
> 32. Sweet dreams.
>
> 33. Hot chocolate.
>
> 34. Road trips with friends.
>
> 35. Swinging on swings.
>
> 36. Eating cookies and drinking your favorite hot toddy.
>
> 37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
>
> 38. Going to a really good concert.
>
> 39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
>
> 40. Winning a really competitive game.
>
> 41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
>
> 42. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
>
> 43. Spending time with close friends.
>
> 44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
>
> 45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
>
> 46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
>
> 47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
>
> 48. Watching the __expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
>
> 49. Watching the sunrise.
>
>50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

saturday morning...main library...tide and noczema...no "thirteen!"...west covina...opppps....tito ruben ninong boy manang tita ching haaahaaaa... always and forever aaww...stupid islands waiter...tour around irvine..till the spectrum...prom flashbacks...go lakers woooh...massages...studytoime...no in and out dinner...just a trader joe's one...still no "thirteen!"......no more tears.

thanx for another fun weekend =).

Sue's line for the day:

XchopYsueyZ (9:53:13 AM): im thinkin 2 things... im loike... wtf? he's prolee lying... den im loike.. wtf is wrong w/ me? y can't i befriend anyone straight?

spring break is oveeer demnit. =(

wow this has been a very rare day...a day when i have nothing due tomorroooow woohooooo i feel freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. it seems so nice to finally feel so light with no worries or anything like that. i mean know i still have a lot of stuff to deal with later on. but rite now i jus wana sit and jus breathe. ive been busy for the past couple of weeks and i havent rilly had time to jus breathe. and would anyone believe me if i say there was a point when i couldnt even talk on the fone for 2 nights in a row coz i was BUSY? well, its true. and it sucked. big time. i promise. i swear. heehee.

i jus had a fun convo with my mom tonite. it was the usual...

mom: o anak. why arent u sleeping yet?
me: mom its 8:30.
mom: oh eh dont u have class tomorrow
me: yeah
mom: o did u eat yet?
me: uhuh
mom: wut did u eat?
me: chicken...kiev
mom: ano yon?
me: heehee iono sumtin chicken
mom: mmmhm...o sleep ka na
me: okai
mom: gudnite anak..i lab u
me: luv u too mom

nothing special, but jus fun. we talked about other things and she was jus being funnie. its weird coz i was the one who called her this time (yeah coz shes the one who calls me usually ...wait not usually...she's the one who calls me everyday). so yeah i called my mom and she was fun. haha. she was being like a mom and a friend. it was nice. i jus wish its always like that.