maria’s party was fun yaaay...my face didnt show it but i had fun...the video was the best...wahaha..neways i tried to cheer myself up despite all the things that were bothering me....im not mad at anyone...im not mad at all....it jus bothered me...but right now i dont know anymore...my sister told me, “dont be upset with things that u dont have control of.” thats rite.....but neways thanx mariaaaaa...and im sorry if we took time out in your room...hope u dint get in trouble...i know ur having fun ovah there with ur hotboys yaaaay.

after the party i felt better. so much better. u know wut’s funnie? the one person who pissed me off was the one person who cheered me up. haha. muy interesante noh? life is just full of surprises.

to ray...maaaaan its all gud in the hood. im not mad tito....i swear....just dont hurt anyone aayt?

i wana thank sue for the ice cream and love and basketball...thanx suueeeee...and also for doin me the funnest favor..haha...that was fun...i jus needed to know...and u made that possible for me. now i dont have to feel all dumb and stupid. well actually i still do... but yeah thanx sueee.

to bel and mitch....aaawww u guyyysssssss...lol...thats all i can say...heeeheee....

to shar....i agree mucho with ur realizations in ur blog. also, dont u jus love ms. mcgrath and ms. pollia’s gift? i love it.

to chelle..i wana thank you for being there for me when i had to be ms. drama queen over here. thanx for not making me feel stupid...even though i really did feel like i was bein the dumbest person ever. dont ask why. i jus did. thanx chelle mwah. hope ur feeling better hun.

ive been thinking a lot about thinnnggssss in life that i do not have control over. my own feelings and emotions, and also other people’s. yes, i know you cant control these things. ive been telling that to myself over and over and over. but lately, i guess i didnt want to believe it. in the back of my mind, i was trying to convince myself that im strong enough to just turn off any feelings or emotions that i have. i was wrong. i dont have control over it. so now wut do i do? umm...i have no friggin clue. there’s nothing to do. there’s no point in doing anything. maybe i should jus slowly back away. or else jus leave things the way they are. yeah. jus leave it the way it is. no complications. no drama. no nothing.

p.s. if there was gona be a second down, im pretty sure it’s not gona be me. believe me. haha.

p.p.s. giving someone mixed signals is not cute.

p.p.p.s. u know wuts sad? i found myself eating cookie dough lastnite. thats the best food one can turn to when theyre down. haha.