JANUARY 3, 2003

happy 19th birthday to me! man i cant believe i only have one teen year left. im old waaaaah. i dont know if i would still like having birthdays after this one. haha. im technically everyone's ate...and also a craddle-rockin cray-z cress. grrreaat. but newaysss, the idea of having to spend my birthday in school, on the first day of classes is not new to me (coz it's been like that for the past 3-4 years). so i thought my special day was gona suck like a duck. but i was wrong. on thursday, january 2 at 11:30ish pm, i got a call from a special hane telling me to look out my window and see the best surprise ever (well it wasnt rilly a surprise...it was a semi-surprise i guess heehee). that jus made my day like u dont even know =).

so the next day, my real birthday, i felt so blessed to know that a lot of people actually remembered my birthday. you guys are the best i swear! i wana thank everyone who came here to celebrate my special day with me: chang, bel, maria, mari, (shar we miss u soo much), keith, sue, gladys, cool fartnah, my zeezter, and hane. even though we didnt get to go to stupid pat n oscar's, islands was still great because u guys jus made it so special. thank you! we should have more funtimes like that (i know sue and cool fartnah had funtimes after dinner with the help of my sister tsk tsk). oooh and chelle makes the best cake ever...and mmhhmmm it is better than sex. oh no wait i wouldnt know. only chelle would. thanx roomate!

again, thanx so much to everyone who greeted me u guys r the bestest. i luv u!

the next day i was supposed to go home...but me, sister, hun, and sue ate at ihop first. then it was time to go home =(. said our see u laters, got home, went to church =), went out for dinner, and finally got home and had...

THE TALK with my mom. this time it was foreal. everything was said. and i mean everything. there was no point of hiding nething anymore. it wasnt very pretty. but i got through it. it wasnt a succesful talk either coz nothing got settled. it was more of a revelation of feelings and differences. or maybe a realization that i can never win or even compromise with her. it was a disagreement where eveyrthing was jus put out there, left there hanging, because there seems to be no solution. that was the low point of my day. right after my birthday too wahoo. so now the only question ive been asking myself is: what the hell am i supposed to do?

so yeah, im doomed forever because i dont think she'll let me out of the house ever again. good timing rite? yup. its great =/.