Can I just grant myself just this one time to be a girly girl? It's my post-Valentine's mini-post so please just bear with me. It's just this one time I promise. Haha. Are you ready? Okai here it goes...

I loved the surprise. It was perfect. I wanted to cry but I didn't want to ruin the make-up. Haha jaykay! I absolutely have no idea why I deserve to be spoiled this way. But really, no one has ever done that for me before and I felt really special. Aaaahhh thanks so much for everything. I'm still in awe of the truffles from scratch. Really, I'm not over it. You're just plain awesome. Thank you!!!

End of the girlygirl-ness.

This quarter is going by way too fast. I'm so behind with all my classes and it worries me that I'm not really worried. Oh well. That's seniorities for yah.

Been thinking about what life would be like for me a year from now. It's scary, but I'm kinda excited too. As Pam said, "Aren't you excited to have a career?" I guess I am. Of course it's scary because it's such a grown-up concept. But it's something to look forward to I guess.

Liwanag retreat was just woah. Woah as in...ionow...woah. Haha. Can't really describe it any other way. I'm glad I went. Actually I'm more than glad. I'm grateful I went. Been reminiscing about how I got to where I am in my faith. I remember, my first year in Liwanag was definitely when I had my "spiritual high". It was the most awesome feeling in the world. To be able to appreciate life a lot more and to have that sense of fulfillment in completely trusting in Him. Letting Him lead you to where He intends you to go and fully surrendering your whole being all for Him. No questions asked. No doubts. No worries. It was the greatest feeling in the world. It was in the summer of my sophomore year when I decided to become involved with a lot of other activities on campus. I was bombarded with all these responsibilities that of course I chose to do, and it somehow gave me a sense of security. Security in knowing that I was doing something valuable with my time and energy. It wasn't until junior year that I realized how much I've been so distracted with all these responsibilities that I've lost touch with my faith. It was such a struggle trying to get back on that "high". I want to say I tried hard to get back on, but I would be lying. The end of junior year wasn't exactly the happiest time in my college life. I had a lot of internal struggles that I needed to let go of. So naturally, being only human during this low point in my life, I turned to Him for help. I asked Him for forgiveness. Forgiveness for when I lost sight of Him because I was too selfish to think of anything or anyone else but myself. Before I left for D.C. this past summer, I was afraid to leave because I was sure that I would let distractions take over my life once again. I prayed so hard, asking Him to help me keep Him close. And I did. I dont think I would've said yes to becoming a servant leader if I didn't pray so much about it. I had a lot of doubts about myself in becoming a servant leader. I didn't quite understand why they picked me. I didn't think I had what it takes to become one. But I realized that it wasn't about me. It was all for Him. So I said yes. It was my first real attempt to getting back on.

Someone once told me that once you reach that "high", it's just natural to fall down and break. She said that it's almost impossible to have that awesome feeling again, that "spiritual high". But then I thought, "spiritual high" doesn't have to be that awesome feeling that I once had. Constantly trying to go through that struggle of completely trusting in Him is the high. Falling down numerous times is the high. The little sacrifice that you go through for Him is the high. Being blessed and broken is definitely the high. It's those struggles that make it all worth it because there is no struggle that can't be won through Him.

End of my inspired post.

Anyways...

Yeah PASS retreat to Santa Barbara this weekend! Pictures coming soon! Maybe when I get back. Have an awesome three day weekend my babies. Payce!