happy memorial day everyone yaaay.

funtimes saturday....ended up goin to ross instead of the beach...bought slippers and fun underwear yaaaay....that was fun..and now im broke...oh well...ate w/ family at soup plantation....couldnt go to ray’s party boohooo....i was sad...but oh well....at least that was one saturday nite when i dint get in trouble yaaaay....

sunday....went to church...aahh friggin missed 30 minutes of it...felt so guilty...and then got home....and then got bribed into goin to camarillo...lol...well not rilly bribed..i rilly wanted to go shopping...so yaaaay bought stuff...funtimes...sue was there but she dint friggin see me...ugh loser...got home...went online of course...funfun online...i was happy..heeeheee.

monday...today...so unproductive...wut else is new...interesting convos w/ jai (oddness huh jai) ...sue (aawww sue’s growing up lol)... funtimes tonite for chelle (breathe in breathe out)...okai i need to be productive now...its 9sumtin and havent done shieet...but wutever...im happy....jus coz...life is fun if u want it to be. heehee.

wutupwutupwutupwutup...im at the ucla library rite now...tryin to do my englsih research paper...but obviously its not working...so far all ive done is read blogs and emails n shiet..yaaay im bein productive...wahahahaaaaaa no...

this week went by pretty quickly...funtimes all the time of course...thursday was fun after school...went to proyecto guadalupano to do some community service...just to make myself feel better...coz whenever i do a good deed...i feel like ive redeemed myself from my sins...LOL jk...funtimes with joy at mr. durante's car wahaa he's so adorable...after proyecto went to the spring concert...the very first concert where i came as part of the audience and not part of the choir...*sniff sniff*...i thought everyone did great....april...chelle in the schola...sue and her piece...maria, christine, christine with their dance..everyone else desy, gladys, shar, bel, len, coleen, eveerryoonee deserves a big yaaay...i dont really regret not being able to be up on the stage with everyone...thats jus becoz i got to see the big picture...and that was funtimes for me.it was also fun to see people who came just to see...u know who u guys are...funtimes at gradnite for them yaaay. after the concert me, chelle, sue, bel, shar, trina, and shar's bro went to upper house and chilled for a while. maaan that lychee boba was too sweet. none of that for me anymore.

friday: senior ditch day! dint rilly know wut i was gona do....but chelle n keith over here were too sweet and brought me breakfast...awww thanx u guyssssss...sorry i looked like shit but who wouldnt if people jus wake u up and and crash in ur house...nyahahaahaaa jk....while chelle n keith were watching titanic i got ready to go to chelle's coz francine was gona pick is up to go to eagle rock for the pictures....it was me chelle jai francine portia audrey april nikki maryrose kat jhona joanna marlene....that was fuuun....ate at in n out...got our pics...everyone else wanted to go to the beach but i couldnt coz i dint wana get in trouble anymore...so went home with jai and jus chilled...jai is the carefullest driver ever i swear...lol...good job jai...sue came..watched the game for a bit until it got rilly depressing...and then we decided to rent a movie....SERENDIPITY....best word ever...nyahaha....but yeah....fun girly nite....

saturday....today..im assuming i cant go out today jus coz i already did yesterday...i wanted to go to cathedral graduation....but no cant....congratulations to the cathedral boys though...party hard...haha no....and i wana party hard tonite at ray's but cant either...hmmmm maybe i can do sumthin bout that...hmmm...hahhaa we'll see... and rite now ive been in this library for almost two hours now...havent done shiiitttt.... and im gona be leavin soon coz my sister and her friend wana go to the beach.....wow it is a beautiful day today....aww i love it.

yes...second blog for today...heehee....im jus tryin to avoid studying for friggin physics and precal test that are coincidentally both tom. i swear, they talk about how to torture students. ggrrrrr.

but im okai....funtimes laffin of course with mariaaaa...coz i know she wants some gud lovin...she wants sommmee.......i know ur first in line maria....mari is dying to be the second one...and fine...ill be third... u guys better leave some for me okaai...LOL this is sad.....chelle if ur readin this i can jus see the reaction on ur face..waaaaahaaaaaaaa no.

newaysss my goal for the week was not to go online at all...LOL...pretty funnie and unattainable goal rite there for me...obviously....dude i seriously need to sort our my priorities...of course the internet is number 1...nyahahaaa okai mom is buggin...uggh why did they have to come baaaaccckkk...last week was the best week of my life...*sigh*...okai i need to study now. grrr.

i was happy this morning. i dunno why. no particular reason. i just was. well, iono. i guess i just realized that there are too many things that i could be so thankful for that i havent seen before. yaaay.

"The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so."

- William Inge

i love my senior quote.

this weekend was fuuuuuuuuuuuun......one of the best weekends ever...just coz parents were away...and i got to play. heehee....

saturday was fun at practice i guess....instead of tita johannes, chelle had the sad face. heehee...but its all gona ge gud chelle. we’re getting better. im perty sure. so after practice we all went to joy’s party, well went to coleen’s first and then to joy’s. interesting car ride. and yes maria, three red lights.

party was cooooool everyone was jus chillen n stuff. some people had more fun than others and im happy for them...aaaw beeeel... and yeah, fun talks again with who else but mari chelle n maria. best line from maria... “this is torture!” LOL. im not gona tell every single detail that happened coz im to lazy...but yeah...funtimes i guess....funtimes all the time rite? rite.

people chilled at my house after...it was mari chelle joe joe bj keith....i wanted to have a big sleepover but everyone had to go home... suxxx...lol

sunday was church day and study day....dint work....but oh well...had a nice long nap...

weekend was yaaay i guess....parents got back tonite...sadness comes again..nyahaa...but im always sad...so nothing new there... wahaaaaaaa no.

and now im tryin to be productive but cant. im a dumbutt for being such a loser. why the hell do i have to be such a...... aayeee naaakooooo....im gona go do sumthin to keep my mind off stuff.....byebye

oh hey wait i wana do special messages too...

sue : thanx for putting up with my nonsense...and for telling me to wake up and smell the shit around me

maria: thanx for all the laffs...i seriously need all the laffs i can get...thanx for the constant support and love...u make me cry(in a good way...lol)

chelle: thanx for keeping me company in my time of need...(friday nite LOL)...and for making me realize that bestfriends do make life miserable and sucky.

THURSDAY, MAY 16

man this week is sloooooowwwwwww........oh no but wait....would i rather have a slow week, enjoying every second that i spend with my immac sisters, or a fast week where everything just goes by, *snap*, like that. i guess slow weeks are the best at this time of my life...

here are some random vocabulary words that have been buggin me for a while now...

AP TESTS
noun. definition: tests that make me feel bad about myself. i totally bummed biology. english and spanish were eeeeehhhh. but wutever. do i care? NO.

GRADUATION
long awaited event. definition: the day that everyone has been looking forward too, but yet dreading as well.

BOYS
noun. definition: people...i mean creatures...who have no clue about anything at all.

“BEST FRIENDS”
noun. definition: people who ruin everything. lol. right chelle? yesss.


SATURDAY, MAY 18

parents left on wednesday night to go to sanfran and to reno....yeeeeeesssssss...its been goin great so far...ive been sleeping at 3am...goin online forever of course....party haaaaaaard

after school yesterday, went to coffee bean w/ chelle, shar, n sue, and then to the mall to go job hunting and shoe shopping. wut else happened...gross dudes hittin on shar ..and wen they saw that shar wasnt interested..they turned to me...sadness...lol gross..we saw bel treena n tita yaaaay...and many more cute peoples

oh yesterday was funtimes w/ chelle and my oh so cool sister. nyahahahaaaaa.... i know im weaaaak godamnit! but wutever, i was still thinkin straight okai...my world was jus turnin a lil bit...i need some coffee now. chelle went home at...iono...hmmm....almost 2 i think...im not sure...and so i went online ...talked to some peole....and im perty sure i was makin sense...i think...i hope so.

woke up at 930 this mornin...wow...funtimes doin laundry with sister this mornin...its rilly sad but this is the first time ive done landry here all by myself, and i think it turned out pretty good. we’ll see if my red sweater did some major damage later when i check it...

so in conclusion, lol, i can totally survive without my parents around here. i mean yeah we dont have food and we’re starving to death over here, but who cares when we’re two happy daughters... lol.... who wants to party hard tonite? i do!

SUNDAY

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! i think today will be a very tiring day for me, coz we have visitors from the pi and we had to cook n entertain n stuff...funtimes with little kids....i just hope i can get some work done tonite. i havent done shit and im thinking if i shuld go to school tom...should i?...we’ll see.

okai i ended up goin to the mall and i went on another one of my impulsive shopping sprees. damnit im broke and i rilly need to get a job soon. i havent done shit, i have to go to mass later tonite, and therefore there is no sleeping for cress tonite.

FRIDAY (okai yeah im not goin in order...oh well wutever)

went to the mall then marketplace with chelle, bel, and keith. we watched spiderman with lemme see.....tina, carol, carol’s sister, keith, keith’s friends, ray, aprille, and rj. its all in chelle’s blog if u want details..nyahaha...i jus wana thank keith for driving me home in his cool car. i think i got in trouble. i couldnt rilly tell coz my mom wasnt talkin to me when i got home. wutever. she finally talked to me when she needed something tho..nyahaha .....neways i dont remember wut else happened...all i know wa si was
tired...and wut else...yeah jus look at chelle’s blog...neways....before i forget...it’s someone’s birthday today...happy birthday! =/.

SATURDAY

had to wake up early to take my subject a test...it was ehh...we’ll see when i get my scores. bel, shar, christine, and joe were also there. funtimes? funtimes. mom picked me up..went to costco...and then saw this dude that i used to have a crush on...iono wut the hell i was thinking then...but wutever. then went home and took a nice nap before goin to practice. woke up, chelle calls to say im late coz theyre starting at exactly 4 (wow amazing). practice was uhmm...a major workout for me...along with the bball and stuff....yaay. i wasnt feeling that good during practice, i tried to hide it, and i guess it worked. iono. but of course my cool fartnah was jus makin me laff with his cool peter parker-ness...nyahaha...thanx cool fartnah.

then we went to ihop after...there was aprille, cool fartner, me, chelle, keith, naomi, mari, dj, diane, and bj. aww that was fun. mari tried to start the question game but thank god it dint happen...nyahahaa jk...neways we should do that more often u guys. we only have a few more weeks to go before all of this is over. so sad yet so true.

i got home at around 1130? i think. bj took me home, and i dont think i got in trouble. haha i rilly duno. i jus tried to be a good daughter and helped in the kitchen (coz they were preparing for the visistors the next day), so yeah. i was sooooo tired but i still dint want to sleep. i was jus watchin tv, thinking about stuff, listenin to music, and writing stuff. i think i finally went to sleep at around 2:45 or sumthin....too tired n drained.. physically and emotionally.


SO NEWAYS, ive been very disappointed about myself lately. ive been majorly slacking off like never before. my ap bio test is on tuesday and i havent touched any of my bio crap at all...i guess there’s jus too many distractions that arent even worth bothering about. damn them distractions.

song that fits my mood rite now...

The Warrior is a Child by Gary Valenciano


Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

(Chorus)

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

Chorus x2

I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child.

i stopped to think about how many weeks are left in school. it saddens me to know that there arent that many left. i thought about all four years i spent in immac, all the friendships that ive made, the laughter, the tears?, the inside jokes, even all the procrastination that was maybe part of the fun of high school, and who can forget all the bonding and funtimes.

freshman year, i started at immac as a scared little girl, dreading going to my classes for the fear of being different from everyone else, hoping each and everyday that my high school life would be over. but now, my senior year, i constantly find myself hoping that high school would never end. after all the bonds that i have made, it is just too hard for me to leave now.

neways...

THIS WAS THE BLOG I SAVED BEFORE DEBUT PRACTICE....
i realized that this time, in my life right now, is a time for me to be happy and appreciate all the things that im blessed with. why should i waste my time depressing myself and thinking about how sad life would be for me? i have all the time to do that in the future. right now, i realized that if i do set my mind to something, it would happen. rite? rite. =).


THIS WAS THE BLOG I WROTE AFTER DEBUT PRACTICE AND AFTER TODAY’S STARBUCKS MOMENT AT THE HOUSE OF PIES....
damnit life sux. i thought i could just be happy and smile and jus laugh. i guess not. im not that strong yet i guess. i mean i know i cant have a perfect life, with everything going my way. maybe i think too much. iono...whenever something good happens to me, i always think that something bad will happen. i am a strong believer of karma...good or bad....iono why but i just am. ugh wutever. ima shuttup now.

neways..................

man...i do not even know why im in ap english....i just have no clue at all...iono if im even gona pass it and im serious...but wutever..if i fail...then let it be so...like i care..well actually i do...but it doesnt matter now..coz its over...one down...two to go.

funtimes at house of pies with chelle, maria, and mari though. all i can say is....maaaan that was very hard for me...it rilly was.... but thanx for the laughter and all that...nyahahahaa.

This is a forward that i thought was interesting....

The One that Hurts Most

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break yourheart... but if you don't, you might break theirs.

Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own.... when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid.... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie.... the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could have had.

No one waits forever.


Another forward from someone...

Many people are afraid of growing old.
I'm afraid ofgrowing old and boring.
Many people are afraid of growing old, alone.
I'm afraid of growing old insane.
Many people are afraid of losing their looks.
I'm afraid of losing my dreams.
Many people are afraid of losing their youth.
I'm afraid of losing my soul.
When you're 15, 35 seems ancient.
When you're 35, 15 seems juvenile.
A turnaround in a split second --
two decades zoom past and before you know it,
it's only a mile to the next millennium.
Don't fear age -- it's a rite of personhood.
Don't fear death -- it's God's greatest jest.
Don't grow old -- you don't have to.
Don't date because you're desperate.
Don't marry because you're miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't separate because you think it's fashionable.
Don't drink because you have troubles.
Don't gamble because you think winning is inevitable.
Don't philander because you think you're irresistible.
Most likely, you're not.
Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat.
Don't lie.
Don't pretend.
Don't try to buy your way into the kingdom of God.
Don't dictate because you're smarter.
Don't demand because you're stronger.
Don't sleep around because you think you're old enough and know
better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell your self, your family or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.
Don't regress.
Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Don't live in the past.
Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don't throw you life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong
because your biological clock is ticking and you can't afford
to have your
eggs harvested before the new millennium.
There's always a mad rush to something,
somewhere but victory does not always belong to those who finish
first.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won,
only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.
To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
To keep yourself warm, buy a jacket.
In the long run, it will be less complicated and costly.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best
you can be.
Simplify your life.
Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends,
nasty habits
and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't
overdose on duty.
Don't live life recklessly without thought and
feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you're not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.
Fall in love -- it's the greatest thing on earth.
But take care. And remember, after the fall must come the rise.
Go on that trip.
Don't postpone it.
Say those words.
Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you must even at society's scorn.
Write poetry.
Love deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Hold hands.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.
Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you... except you.
It is true that life doesn't get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid.
Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions. Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old.....

Just grow up.


This is another forward that i thought was interesting....

The One that Hurts Most

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break yourheart... but if you don't, you might break theirs.

Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own.... when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid.... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie.... the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could have had.

No one waits forever.

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.

maan im tired....been tired since thursday and here’s why.....

THURSDAY
went to proyecto guadalupano after school to feed some people. wow that was fun. especially with ms. gale dancing to hiphop in the kitchen. now that is just classic. got home at around 8 i think, and i still had a load of crap to do. but that dint stop me from goin online...tsk tsk tsk...bad cressa..neways settled everything for prom on saturday coz i wont be able to talk to him friday nite or saturday mornin...(he dint tell me bout the whole limo thing tho..iono why...i had to find out from chelle..aye nako)..newaysss.... so i decided to sleep early to wake up early to finish crap. woke up at 3....did some more crap....heard on the radio that lisa lopez died....sadness....and then went back to sleep at 5...woke up my usual time and then....

FRIDAY
yeaah shaaar our rocket was jus da bomb! physics is the best class ever...oh no wait...it wont be nemore on monday...damnit.... neways aww april’s debut was fun! funtimes with jai nyahahha... good job everyone in the cotillion! sorry april i had to leave early coz i dint wana get in trouble, and i was rilllly tired. i heard about the funtimes at jhona’s house tho. yaaay. thanx bel for taking me home for the millionth time...and thanx for ur, “aww cress have fun tom at prom.” it means a lot coming from u!

SATURDAY
woke up early to help do laundry. first thing on my mind, “shit im scurred.” lol. and so i was jus chillen in the morning, talkin to maria (yes i am ready to roll)....tryin hard not to be all nervous...and then i decided id go to the ucla festival of books thing...had to beg my lolo to take me...got there...took pics...and stuff...and then left. went to lola’s house coz my tita had a party and free food is always nice.

then finally had to leave to get my hair done....but i went to go get the boutonniere first, which pissed of my mom coz i was running late for my hair appointment. man im sowee geeeezzz....so on my way to the friggin parlor we get lost for some reason (well my mom was drivin so that explains it). so she gets more pissed, and finally we get there and i got it done (like my hair for prom last year).

rushed home, dad said bj called twice already. yikes. had to do my own makeup coz i dint wana spend, and then got ready, and then called bj. he says he’ll be here in 30 minutes (means 5:30), and so i was jus chillen. neways, tried to call chelle to see if theyre having funtimes at practice, but i jus left a message to say i was scurred. but later i was suprised coz i wasnt nervous anymore at all. i mean maybe a little but not as nervous as my own prom. so he came, i went to down w/ my sister so she could meet him (parents were out to church yaaay), and he was waiting in the lobby. so we were gona go to his car, and i said is it okai if im wearing slippers..heehee...he was kinda eeeh iono...so i jus went back up to change into shoes to be safe.

went to erwin’s house in eagle rock. and wow a lot of people i dunno...well the only ones i knew were jhona and marco, and mitch (btw man nice tux). i think those were the only ones...im not sure...but i met a lot of people...nice people...so that was fun....so we waited for everyone to come...finally kat maryrose n niki came and we all got in the limo...there were actually 30 of us...and we actually fit....funtimes. interesting ride, eye of the tiger is da bomb. nyaha....

Loyola Prom, April 27, 2002, in the school itself. Theme: hollywood nights? sumthin like that...lol im not sure... got there...long line, but all gud. man their prom was way different from ours. they had gambling n stuff (yaay we actually won some games even tho iono wut the hell we were playing), and instead of a dj they had a band. that was interesting. i dint know how to dance half the songs. but its okai coz me n my date were in the same boat. =). my table was cool....scooping action everywhere..nyahaha...neways i actually thought their food was better than ours (just because they had rice nyahaha). after that then we finally had the chance to cut in line for pictures...whaha...sorry but the lines were friggin long...theres no way one would not feel the urge to cut...so we got that done...and then got to the dance floor and just did our thang. lol. that was fun interesting times. if u wana know more feel free to ask me and i will elaborate.

saw shar, jennifer g., natalie, marjorie (junior), and some other juniors. i saw connie n jenny l. but i dont think they saw me. oooh and i saw homeboy. i think he was in connie n jenny’s table. im not sure. but yeah he grew out his hair again...as in like his hair early in summer school. eck. i think his date was pinay...not sure....but yeah...she wasnt pretty. LOL jk im mean.

so yeah, prom was fun. i rilly had fun. i duno if i told him already but having been asked to someone else’s prom is wow for me. ill admit i was rilly surprised, but i felt all wooow r u serious. so thank you dude! i had fun, hope u did. and for those people who do wana go to someone else’s prom, me n shar say we go crash one this friday. agree? yeaah.

ride home in the limo was fun, i was riiiilllllyyyy tired but it was still good. for some reason the driver took us to pasadena, i think jus to make the ride longer..nyaha...and then we got to erwin’s house. we got out of the limo, and then bj came up with the best line of the night. he said something like, “ey do u need to take off some things to make u feel more comfortable.” L-O-L. of course my first reaction was, “uhhmm....wuuut?” and his reaction was, “oh shit no thats not wut i mean oh man blahblahblah.” lol. but i actually knew wut he meant. he was talkin bout my slippers coz we left it in his car and he was wondering if i needed to change into them. seeee there’s a reasonable explanation. that was hill-harious.

so i was all thinking if i should jus go home or not, but i decided ill chill for a bit, get a drink, and then leave. so i did. and bj over here, being the gud boi that he is, refused to drink. maaan im proud of u dude. i felt bad tho coz i looked liked the bad one. but its all gud. its not like i was all knocked out. im not like that.

so i told him if he can take me home at around 1:40 i think. w/c means id be home at 2. thats gud enuf. even later than my own prom but all gud. the drive home was rilly quiet. iono wut the hell he was thinking, or if he’s jus tired, but it was quiiiiieeeet. im scared coz i felt like he mite doze off or sumthin. thats not gud coz after taking me home he was supposed to go back to erwin’s coz he’s sleeping over. but wutever so we got to my house, walked me to my door like a gentleman, and said u sure u gona ba okai..u look all eeeh...lol...and then we said byebye. cya nextweek.

funtimes at my house coz parents were actually sleeping already, but my sister was still up. damn i couldve stayed longer. oh well. they actually dint wait up for me....interesting...all i can say is....bj: the face that mothers can trust. weehee. watched tv, even tho i wasnt rilly watching, and then fell asleep in the couch. w/ my dress n everything. i was knocked out. ZZzzzzzzZZzZZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzz niteynite.

saturday was a bitch..went to uci w/ parents and of course, got yelled at for too many reasons...basically mother told me every single weakness that i have. i guess she was trying to make me “see” my stupidity, and was hoping that that will make me aware of all that and change. well nope that dint happen. it jus made me sad and brought my self esteem even lower. thanx. ugh wutever. lets go to happy thoughts....

senior prom Friday April 19, 2002. prom is oveeeeeeeer! that was fun. yeah, i did actually have fun. no sarcasm whatsoever. =). lets start from the mornin...this is gona be DETAILED so jus sit back...relax...and feel free to take breaks while readin....

woke up. first thing i said to myself, “oh mah god today’s prom.” got to school little early than usual. and for the first time in my life, i was hoping school would not end. actually it was a mixed feeling of wanting it to be over, and not. ugh wutever. i was rilly nervous. prom phobia. lol. school’s over. yikkeesss. went to ride aid w/ chelle n maria to buy our junk lunch. then asked christine t. if she could drop us off at the parlor. yey. got there, got stuff done, (hair only half up), chelle asked keith (who’s chismoso) to pick us up, and then they dropped me home. rilllyyyy nervous. so i call my date up jus to check. hihi. i asked if he still needed directions n wut time he’ll be here. 6:30. yay. woah that made me feel so much better. i breathed rilly deeply and i was fine. yaaay!

sat at home, chatting with sue, got my stuff ready, waited till about 5:something to dress up. talked to chelle, who was fuming mad again at someone (as usual LOL jk), got call waiting, my date saying he’s gona be a lil late coz he’s still at the flower shop, i said its all gud, jus be here damnit. lol. so i get dressed, and was jus chillen. chatting w/ sue again..hihi...and then my date calls at i think 6:45, says he’s down there already. yikess now im nervous again. so i say bye to sue (sorry had to leave u sue! heehee), called chelle to tell her im leavin. i go down, saw his car from the window, went out, and he comes out of his car w/ his all-white
suit, (well its rilly black n white), w/ the corsage. aww so cute. i was gona get in tha car when he opens the car door for me....aww...i said, “oh nooo u dont have to do that.” but in my head i was all, aww i feel like a princess...LOL. so we get to chelle’s house, everyone was there already blahblah. wow ray thinks my date’s cute. u want him? u can have him. lol. so we decided to leave. there were four drivers, and we followed keith. woah scary ride. too fast for me. but its all gud. parked near ray n chelle...lost joe n christine...lol...but keith raian maria n mari parked somewhere else.

got there and there was a line for inspection n stuff. aww my date’s all, “im the only one in white here blahblah.” i was all, no there’s nother one over there...lol. we put on the boutonniere n corsage, n went in to take pictures. normal pose yay. ray asks if my date likes me...lol...no he doesnt and im pretty sure bout that. checked in, found our table and ate. looked like the same food as last year. not sure. now time for group pics. funtimes. hope it looks fine. got back in, dancing started. yeaaah! asked my date if his toe still “hurts”. he says no. i said can i step on it then. he says go ahead. but i say jk! he was pretty cool, looked like he actually wanted to be there. FUNFUNFUN on the dance floor =).

the night had to end, so crowning of prom queen (yaay maddy) came. and of course the last dance. dint like the song that much but wutever. i had to go home rite after coz of momie dear. but its all gud coz i was tired neways. the ride home was perty scary tho. not used to goin more than a hundred on the 101. but its all gud coz i got home at about 1 i think. yes im the loser who dint go to in n out and to joy’s house after. and my date had to go somewhere w/ his friends still. so it was all gud. got home w/ my sister greeting me with her, “aaaawww my lil sister’s home from proooom.” ugh no. lol. my mom was actually sleepin already but she
woke up and the first thing she asked was, “o, did u guys take pictures der.” yes momie, go back to bed.

overall, i had a great time. yeah i had doubts about my date at first, but he turned out to be the perfect gentleman. opening car doors, any door, offering to go up and say hi to my mom b4 we left (but i dint let him lol), putting his coat on me (i said oh no its okai, but in my head i was all, aaaww im special LOL), and there were some more that im not gona mention anymore. basically he made sure i was having fun. im glad i asked him. yaaay. thanx a lot dude.

today in school, some people told me how they wanted my date. hihi.. i said, well u can have him if u want. i dont rilly want him. i mean not that way. and i realized this rite after prom, when my mind was occupied with something else. =).

sunday was eeh.....stayed at home in the morning and went to dinner at grandma’s house. talked to people who i havent seen online for awhile, that was fun. interesting. intriguing as chelle puts it. rite chelle piepiepie? yes. can’t wait for this week to end.

these past two weeks has been fun i would say. i know everything has been about prom lately, and maybe that’s the reason why. last week, i was sooo excited because of all the planning etc. thats mostly the fun part. but this week, im jus not feeling it for some reason. maybe im jus nervous, iono. or maybe coz im jus pissed. but wutever. like it matters now. prom is in a couple of days, and i guess ill just try my best to make it fun. it will be if i want it to be. rite? rite.

this week has been a hectic one for me, with all my crap starting to build up, and the tests that i, thankfully, had already gotten over with. and i thank god that i survived because i just had too many distractions everywhere. im proud of myself not letting school interfere with other things. and i just hope my parents see that ive been trying real hard not to slack off, even though there
are some day when i just can’t deal with work anymore .

man i duno if its just me, but this blog entry seems so melancholy. lol wutever. im not sad though. im jus overwhelmed i guess. im actually happy. wahaha....happy as in wow....smileys all over. bwahaha im a nard. but yeah, i just wana thank a special friend, who i completely trust, for making me feel “okai” with all this crayziness. it was rilly hard for me to open up. but yeah. lol. im just gona laugh n be happy. LOL.


but neways, ima make a new list of things again, that have been bugging me lately...

1) mr promdate, hair & makeup, boutonniere

2) my sleeping habits (that are kinda messed up rite now..iono why)

3) college crap that i have to deal with pretty soon

4) my secret...lol

okai im sleepy...maan i have to change my sleeping habits...not gud...okai byebye.

very interesting day yesterday =).

i got number 1 and 2 on my list...yaaaay...coz i finally went to irvine last friday and it was cool

first was the welcome blahblahblah...then lunch... then the campus tour...then the ics talk (information and computer science)...then the housing tour (i only saw middle earth). it was all fun, i actually felt like i have my parents' support...my dad even said the campus is better than ucla..in my head i was all..."wow rilly? ur not jus sayin that to make me feel better rite" hihi...wutever...ima be living there and i cant wait. i feel sorry for sister tho...she's stuck w/ them for one more year...im sowee sis. if i can id take u w/ me. lol

saturday was ap english practice test...man i blew that one...but wutever....we ate at ms conklin's after...fun party...nyahaha...and then chelle over here tells me that people are gona be at citywalk...i dint wana go home so it was all gud...dad brought us there and we walked around for a while...and then saw people...THE promdates...lol...so funnie coz the girls werent even there to see them (maria, mari, & christine). wutever so me n chelle walk....contemplate...lol....get starbucks....and meet up w/ naomi n them...they ate...we chilled...they played....they were gona go bowling...and then we had to go. sux. but me n chelle had other important plans...lol...so i go to church n actually listened to the homily..shocker.

went to the mall after church..dint buy nething...went crayzee over the slippers at robinson's may...but mom dint wana buy me any coz i have "too much already"...uhhmm no...sowee im jus crayzee over slippers....i can spend my whole savings on slippers n i wont regret it. after that got pizza and went home.

sunday was laundry day so did my usual folding...no lola lunch so i have time to do work...actually it doesnt make a diff coz is till havent started my crap...ive been on since this mornin...so yeah...im officially a loser.

oh i forgot to blog about thurs...talked to my friend from florida n friend visiting from pinas...funtimes again...yaay...yeah thats basically it....oh and thursday's my other friend's bday...my pinas bald friend...that i almost forgot about...badbad...

thats basically wut happened..ima add stuff later in case i remember other things that happened...coz my brain aint workin rite now.

1) i want to feel the security of going to college next year

2) i need my parents' blessing and support about me going to uci next year

3) i wish i had more motivation in doing my school work

4) i hope and pray that my promdate does not ditch me this year

5) i would like senior prom to be one special nite, not just for me n my date, but especially for all my friends who i get to spend this special event with

6) i just want a boy. lol

these are the things that i wish would happen, and things that have been buggin my head for a while now. i duno which ones would happen, and which ones wouldnt. but wutever happens, it will probably happen for a reason.

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yes i need to blog i know.......this is gona be looooooooong so jus bear with me...lemme start with thursday okaaai

thursday: sue woke me up...ugh wut else is new..lol jk...i wasnt gona answer the fone but im glad i did because sue wanted to come over to feed me..of course im not saying no to that...nyahahanyahaha thanx sue! i havent eaten real food in a while....but the bagels n jamba were fun...we jus chilled here...bein bored....and then after a couple of hours sue wanted to eat AGAIN....so went to denny's and ate AGAIN...man that was a food-filled day.

friday: i was planning on doin actual work today coz i dont wana be stuck w/ homework on sunday nite....so i did...some of em..nyahaha...i wasnt rilly plannin on goin to portia's debut nemore coz i dint have a ride n clothes...but kat over here was bein too nice and said she would pick me up....thanx kat! the debut was cool...their dresses were preeetty....and wow their cotillion group looked so happy...lol...we have a happy cotillion group too rite? yes....i forgot wut time i got home...got picked up at kat's..brought chelle home...and iono if im supposed to be hapi that i didnt get in trouble...maaan wen the hell am i gona get in trouble?!? i can feel it coming...please dont let it be at prom...man..this is scurry.

saturday: did my usual saturday mornin chore..folding clothes...and then everyone left in the mornin...iono where the hell they all went...so i go online...and i see my promdate prospect...started to panic..thinking if i should ask now since bid buying day is on monday...and did i? yes i did...i cant believe im bein brave like this...maybe its coz im jus tired of regrets..i jus asked him...wut am i to lose rite? and he said he prolly can go but he has to check...and he said the sweetest piece of bullshit ever: "i dont wana leave the prettiest girl over there without a date." something like that..lol..that was sweet...nyahaha...

so newayss later on my sister calls me at home and says, "hey u guess who called my cel." i said iono...she says, "your promdate." i was all..."WHAT?!?!?"..so yeah i think he thought i was w/ my sister or sumtin...so he told my sister that he can go for sure...i was all..."shuttupppp??!?!?!?!" ...nyahaha yeah...so there yah go...my promdate story...and then of course bein my pessimistic self...i was all thinking...wut if he flakes on me?!? jus like wut hapend to that asshole last year..i need a backup! damnit.

before debut practice i went to ross w/ my sister...thats the best store ever..nyaaahha..got slippers n a dress...yay...and then went to get bel coz she needed a ride...she was sleepin wen i came but i let katreeena wake her up..yay...sorry bel! hihi...oh well...then we got there n i thot i was late...but they werent even done w/ kat's...so we chilled...then practiced for an hour?..or not even...iono..coz of melissa, aprille, and cool fartnah's party....yaaay...after practice chilled at cool fartnah's house coz chelle had to change n all....then finally went to aprille's house.

party was cool...youngns everywhere but its all gud...and finally people started dancing yaay i wana dance..of course i couldnt drag bel w/ me coz of a certain person...bel n minute maid dont mix..wahaa...but it was all gud later...yeaah people dancing...freakin (very scary experience but its all gud..i dint get hurt LOL).... and wow even rolling and jumpin...if maria was there she wouldve been rollin too...of laughter as chelle said it...but it was all gud.... me n mari were tryin to get cool fartnah to freak but i feel like i would be violating him..lol...im a loser yes...hmm wut else happened.. aww bel n mitch were too cute....and oh yah i finally saw chelle's boytoy...nyahaha.....party ended but i dint wana go home =(...but had to...dropped bel home...and yes..i still did not get in trouble...maan its rilly scaring the hell outa me...one of these days..its all gona explode. couldnt sleep wen i got home even tho im hella tired...wutsup. yay had the room to myself coz sister is out partying w/ her boys...she dint come home so i guess i know who's gona get in trouble. bbbbbbwaaaahaaha.

sunday: totally forgot about the time change and so had to rush to church...and then to lola's house for lunch...chilled w/ cousins as usual...but had to go home early jus coz..wehe...was online the whole afternoon....not thinking of homework...hating goin back to school....hmmm wut else....tryin to get some sleep but for some reason couldnt...i tink i finally fell asleep at like 230.. tsk tsk not cool.

monday:HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIAAAAAA! our legal club is startin to grow yaaay...newayss first day of school and i dont even remember how to write nemore...sad...but its so nice to see everyone after forever...and of course had our nice prom talk...i say everyone go to prom....oooh w/c reminds me to call a certain formal person to ask y the hell he hasnt called my friend..damn that boy..lol..neways bought my bid...im scurred tho...wut if i end up like last year? he better not be a flake...i dont need another reason to hate another boy...*sigh*...damnit i actually have hw to do...maaaan this blog is long...soweee i jus had to be all detailed...actually its not even detailed..ugh wutever im tired...laterz