i have too much crap happening tomorrow and im planning on doin it in a little while. coz if i dont start it rite now, i mite not be getting any sleep tonite.....1) study for ap bio test tom....2) study for precalc test tom.....3) have to catch up w/ my literary circle coz i havent been reading... waaaaah do i dare do all these things tonite?!? oh well we'll see if i survive. dont be surprised if i look like a zombie tom.

newayss...this whole college thing is getting to me again. i know im not supposed to be worried as much nemore, coz applications are over... but im scared that i wont get into a school (i stil havent heard from any). i know im exaggerating...but still. my sister told me something the other day that im not supposed to know yet. but wutever. she told me i will be getting a car.......BUT....... thats if i get into ucla....damnit....i guess im not getting a car then. my mom's crayzeee...she jus doesnt know the pressure i feel everytime they talk about that. i mean they're not telling it to my face. but i can still feel the pressure. i dont wana feel like the loser. jus coz my sister got in that frigin school doesnt necesarily mean i will too. it rilly bothered me the other night. i know im always pessimistic about everything. but hey, u cant blame me. im jus being realistic.

i was thinking, maybe the reason why i make sure, that i at least try to do good in school, is because i dont wana be the loser in the family. im scared that if i dont do well in school, id be the daughter theyre not gona be proud of. why does my sister have to make it so much harder for me? damnit im sad. i cant blame her for being a nerd i know. but still...wutever...im jus gona shutup and pray.