I was sitting in one of my Management classes yesterday, completely phasing out the professor, because all I could think about were all the reponsibilities that I chose to take on this quarter. I sat there listing all the things I have to do in my head - all ten million of them. It was a never-ending list of responsibilities that I, of course, chose to do. Sometimes I ask myself why I do what I do. But even then, I feel like I don't have the time to answer my own question.
Before I left for D.C., I asked for His help. I told Him that I have grown closer to Him in the past couple years, and I don't want to lose sight of Him, as I part from the family who has been so close to my heart, because they have taught me so much about Him. I was really excited when I found out that there was a church right across the street from my apartment in D.C. The first thing I looked for was the blessed sacrament. It was the first time I went to the blessed sacrament by myself.
I remember when I was younger, my mom would always insist that we go to the blessed sacrament first thing on our birthday. It was really the only time besides church when my family would all pray together. But now that my sister and I are all grown up, it's harder for my mom to keep us close to her. She tries really hard though and I love her for that.
So I tried to go to the blessed sacrament in D.C. as much as I could. It was where I could just sit and talk to Him. Everything in that city just seemed so fast paced. People are always rushing to be somewhere, running to catch the subway to go to work, even rushing to go back home. Amidst all the hustle and bustle of the city, the blessed sacrament is where I found solace.
I was struggling with the question that was looming over my head all summer. It was the question that I thought and prayed about so much it was already apparent what my answer would be. I would go to the blessed sacrament asking Him for guidance and strength for me to say it with great conviction. And finally, the time came. The question was asked and I finally said my Yes. Without hesitation, but full of conviction. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be after all.
Now I realize why I do what I do. I chose it for a reason. It's inevitable to feel disheartened at times, but it keeps me grounded. A very close friend (who prolly won't read this) told me something that I've always known but never fully realized until she said it. Thanks homie. I may be physically tired from everything I have to do, but I know He constantly fills me with the strength to go on.
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