Feeling bleh. But trying to smile. I have a lot of shtuff to do this week so hopefully all this shtuff can take my mind off things.

Let's try to blog happy thoughts...

Sooo this weekend was gift shopping for people with sister. I thought I was gona spend ten million dollahs for gifts alone...but I ended up saving a lot. Yay for a smart shopper! It sux coz I didn't even buy anything for myself. But its okai, I like buying people gifts that I think they love. I hope.

Saw my cousins again. I love seeing them even for just a little whoile. They make my heart smile =).

Tita Ruth's surprise was fun...makes me happy to see people happy. She had no idea and she cried aww haha. Fun videos were the highlight of the party waahaa.

I'm gona close this with a forward I got from a friend. It's kinda what I'm going through right now. I'm not twenty-something yet but I could already feel it coming. Maybe most of you people will agree.

"Being Twenty-Something"

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you
will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.