It's hard to live each and everyday without seeing You. How am I supposed to see the purpose if I don't acknowledge You? I never realized how hard it is to hold on. I never realized how vulnerable I can be until I couldn't see. Everyday, I run farther and farther away until I get to the point where there is nothing. I need You right now. I can't go on pretending to be someone I'm not. It breaks my heart when I pray and realize that I haven't been the person You want me to be. I've been struggling, and I keep on falling. I don't know where I'm going.

I hate feeling worthless. I hate feeling like a failure. I hate hating.

I'm sorry for not making you smile. I'm sorry for whatever I've done to make you unhappy. I can't be happy when you're unhappy. I'm sorry.


Sorry for my sad and random blog. I try not to blog about sad stuff but sumtimes it's my only way of letting it out. I have fun stuff to look forward to though. I mite go home again this weekend! I think that's fun stuff coz I like going home these days. Makes me happy to see my family. It's weird how I used to not want going home becoz I'd rather have fun with friends. But now my family's been my source of happiness, comfort, and strength. I love them all and I'm very thankful for their presence in my life.

I have one last random thought! It's kinda sad how sometimes the highlight of my day would be when I'd be watching my favorite shows like F.R.I.E.N.D.S, American Idol, and The OC. It shows how fun my life really is!