Still not feeling well, but better than last week. I think Big Bear made me stop getting better. But of course I don't rilly care coz it was worth going to.
Whenever I have a feeling of doubt, insecurity, and fear, He always seems to make me see through these walls so that I can look deeply and see the real reason why I'm being called to do what I'm supposed to do.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
At work. My brand new supplies just came in today! I'm very excited. I think I'm actually gona have my own printer and fun stuff like that. Dang why do they spoil me like this? I think they have an ulterior motive. Hmmm.
Been sick since Friday night. Not good. At first I thought it was just a sore throat. But it felt nothing like a sore throat...except my throat hurt...get it? Okai never mind. Basically I had dry cough, major aching throat, fever, and all that gud stuff. So I was looking through this medical book and I diagnosed myself by looking at the symptoms of throat infections. I think I have mild tonsilitis. Ggggrrrrr. Good thing I was home this whole weekend to rest and get pampered by mom n sister. Man, been spoiled once again. weee.
One sad moment over the weekend though was on Saturday when I slept in till 1pm, woke up, and realized everyone was out. They left me at home all by myself =(. Just made me think why I even bother going home. *sigh* But it was all gud coz later that night we all went to church and shopping in the happiest place on earth...Ross. Mom bought me clothes. I would think I'd be officially called a spoiled brat by now.
Lately, I've been thinking about the decisions I've made for myself this past year. I look back and I ask myself if I did the right thing. A friend used to always reminded me to make a decision I wouldn't regret. But how will I know if I will regret my decision or not? There was a point when I wanted to make everything the way it used to be. I blamed myself for being the weak one, the one who gave up when there seems to be no other way to go. I cry whenever I'm reminded of the hurt I caused, and when I can't seem to accept the fact that not everything can be perfect and have a happy ending. Then I realize that sometimes it's better this way. It's better to go through it once. But who knows what will happen along the way. It can turn out to be the perfect ending that people would imagine it to be, or reality can kick in and simply take me where it leads me.
Been sick since Friday night. Not good. At first I thought it was just a sore throat. But it felt nothing like a sore throat...except my throat hurt...get it? Okai never mind. Basically I had dry cough, major aching throat, fever, and all that gud stuff. So I was looking through this medical book and I diagnosed myself by looking at the symptoms of throat infections. I think I have mild tonsilitis. Ggggrrrrr. Good thing I was home this whole weekend to rest and get pampered by mom n sister. Man, been spoiled once again. weee.
One sad moment over the weekend though was on Saturday when I slept in till 1pm, woke up, and realized everyone was out. They left me at home all by myself =(. Just made me think why I even bother going home. *sigh* But it was all gud coz later that night we all went to church and shopping in the happiest place on earth...Ross. Mom bought me clothes. I would think I'd be officially called a spoiled brat by now.
Lately, I've been thinking about the decisions I've made for myself this past year. I look back and I ask myself if I did the right thing. A friend used to always reminded me to make a decision I wouldn't regret. But how will I know if I will regret my decision or not? There was a point when I wanted to make everything the way it used to be. I blamed myself for being the weak one, the one who gave up when there seems to be no other way to go. I cry whenever I'm reminded of the hurt I caused, and when I can't seem to accept the fact that not everything can be perfect and have a happy ending. Then I realize that sometimes it's better this way. It's better to go through it once. But who knows what will happen along the way. It can turn out to be the perfect ending that people would imagine it to be, or reality can kick in and simply take me where it leads me.
Friday, January 16, 2004
It's so amazing how semi-productive I've been this week, just coz it's only the first week of school and I'm still chillen like a villain. I know this quarter will be a fun-filled one because I'm gona be doing a whole lota fun stuff. Besides the funtoimes of my two asian am classes, econ, and management class, I'm gona be working on my new desk and office! I have a couch in here too if anyone wants to visit me! It can get quiet and lonely in here but I like the peacefulness sometimes.
My 9am-5pm everyday is basically school and work combined. At night comes the funner stuff...mondays is high school outreach for PUSO (ooh which reminds me that in my Management class, the director of the Career Center was giving us a talk about leadership and she mentioned how PUSO had awesome leadership and stuff like that), tuesdays is Liwanag (I'm excited for Spirit Rally), wednesdays is WYSE (me and this other girl will be preparing a class about STDs for our 6th-7th graders woohoo), thursdays is F.R.I.E.N.D.S., and fridays...who knows. I'm also gona be in PCN choir this year so woohoo. Yeahp, this quarter will be funtoimes all the toime.
I think I'm going home tonite. Again. It's a long story why I've been going home a lot lately, but I rilly dont mind because I like home nowadays. And I guess it's better that I go home a lot now coz I mite not be able to wen the quarter gets busier.
Woops time to go back to work. Boss needs me to go to the library. Payce.
My 9am-5pm everyday is basically school and work combined. At night comes the funner stuff...mondays is high school outreach for PUSO (ooh which reminds me that in my Management class, the director of the Career Center was giving us a talk about leadership and she mentioned how PUSO had awesome leadership and stuff like that), tuesdays is Liwanag (I'm excited for Spirit Rally), wednesdays is WYSE (me and this other girl will be preparing a class about STDs for our 6th-7th graders woohoo), thursdays is F.R.I.E.N.D.S., and fridays...who knows. I'm also gona be in PCN choir this year so woohoo. Yeahp, this quarter will be funtoimes all the toime.
I think I'm going home tonite. Again. It's a long story why I've been going home a lot lately, but I rilly dont mind because I like home nowadays. And I guess it's better that I go home a lot now coz I mite not be able to wen the quarter gets busier.
Woops time to go back to work. Boss needs me to go to the library. Payce.
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Pretty, pretty song I love...
Every Season by Nicole Nordeman
Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children's games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer
And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn
And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter
And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season's change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring
Every Season by Nicole Nordeman
Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children's games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer
And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn
And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter
And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season's change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring
Monday, January 05, 2004
Saturday, January 03, 2004
I asked Him for happiness, and He gave me my awesome family and friends. Thank You for giving me so much. I don't know what I did to deserve all this. It's the best gift I could ever get.
Thanx so much for the 20 people who celebrated my 20th birthday with me. You guys made my heart smile. I loved every moment of it. I loved all the fun/interesting gifts I got...but all that will never compare to every single person's presence last night. I love you all!
Of couse I can not forget the ones who couldn't come but still remembered. You guys are special too!
And for those of you who didn't know about this, I prolly texted you but your fone's too losery to not get the text. Sux to be u. JK I love you too. You can mail my gift to my home addy thanx.
Twenty...or twenteen as my cousin said. So does that mean I'm not considered a teenager anymore? Demnit. I don't think I'm ready to sit at the old people table yet. I guess it's gona be more exciting when I turn 21. At least then I could legally do the stuff I'm doing now. JK. I'm a good girl. I'm mature enough to handle my life. So gotta go for now coz I'm ready to partaaaaaaay. Payce!
Thanx so much for the 20 people who celebrated my 20th birthday with me. You guys made my heart smile. I loved every moment of it. I loved all the fun/interesting gifts I got...but all that will never compare to every single person's presence last night. I love you all!
Of couse I can not forget the ones who couldn't come but still remembered. You guys are special too!
And for those of you who didn't know about this, I prolly texted you but your fone's too losery to not get the text. Sux to be u. JK I love you too. You can mail my gift to my home addy thanx.
Twenty...or twenteen as my cousin said. So does that mean I'm not considered a teenager anymore? Demnit. I don't think I'm ready to sit at the old people table yet. I guess it's gona be more exciting when I turn 21. At least then I could legally do the stuff I'm doing now. JK. I'm a good girl. I'm mature enough to handle my life. So gotta go for now coz I'm ready to partaaaaaaay. Payce!
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Monday, December 29, 2003
Thursday, December 25, 2003
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Fun story my sister told me about my tita in the Philippines:
*Tito trips on hotel escalator and falls on his ass*
Tita: Oh may gads! Ang asawa ko!
*Sister doesn't know wut to do*
Lola: Ay kabayo ka! Ano ba yan!
*Hotel employess rush to my tito*
Employee: Sir, are you okay? We can call an ambulance to make sure you're fine."
Tita: No no no! He doesn't need det! He's a doctor!
BBBWAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAA
____________________________
Pick up line:
Girl: If you were to ask God one question, what would it be?
Boy: I'd ask Him, "When and where can I find the prettiest girl in the world?"
Boy: Then He'd answer, "You already have."
Niceee. Gud one gud one.
*Tito trips on hotel escalator and falls on his ass*
Tita: Oh may gads! Ang asawa ko!
*Sister doesn't know wut to do*
Lola: Ay kabayo ka! Ano ba yan!
*Hotel employess rush to my tito*
Employee: Sir, are you okay? We can call an ambulance to make sure you're fine."
Tita: No no no! He doesn't need det! He's a doctor!
BBBWAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAA
____________________________
Pick up line:
Girl: If you were to ask God one question, what would it be?
Boy: I'd ask Him, "When and where can I find the prettiest girl in the world?"
Boy: Then He'd answer, "You already have."
Niceee. Gud one gud one.
Monday, December 22, 2003
BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY COUSIN LINDSEY! I LOVE YOU COUSIN!
IBM Thinkpad Laptops are still on sale (A Series. $700-950) IM me if interested: buthafly.
Aaaah theres so much to blog about I don't know where to start! Actually, I kinda forgot about the stuff I wanted to write about. Oh well. This will be perty long. Let's see what I come up with...
I went to mass in OMGC this Saturday, and it felt kinda weird just coz I haven't been there in a while (I enjoy going to mass in Interfaith more coz I actually listen haha). So I sat there, about to space out as usual, but surprisingly I paid attention from start to finish. I thought it was a gud mass because I loved the songs they sang, and I actually listened and took in the words being said throughout the mass.
"Lord, make us turn to you, show us Your face, and we shall be saved." Sometimes I feel as though I'm too blind to see the positive things around me. I always dwell on the bad things that affect me, making me even more pessimistic towards anything I come across. It seems like I refuse to see the good things in life. I'm not exactly sure why. I realized that refusing to see the good made me refuse to see Him. If I don't see the good, how am I supposed to turn to Him and see Him? I need His help to make me see that there is more to life than going through hardtimes. I need Him to make me see the good things that make life worth living.
"With blessings come pain and suffering." Life can never be perfect. It will always have both good and bad times. Like what father said, Mary's blessing was to have Jesus as her son, but with it came the pain of seeing Him die on the cross. Life will hand us many many blessings, but it has to give us pain as well. Many people wish that life could just be perfect, with everyone happy, without suffering in this world. But perfect doesn't have to mean no pain and suffering. Perfect may simply mean seeing Him and doing His will in all that we say and do.
So newayssss...
Week after finals was a sleep filled week...yeahp approximately 12 hours of sleep each day (and that's just coz someone woke me up...I could've slept for days). But it's okai coz I had to get up some time rite. That week was a strong week for me too. No signs of weakness wutsoever. Yeahp that's right. I’m proud of it. Here's a recap of my week:
Monday, Dec 15
- work
- corned beef, fried rice with Vienna sausage nite with roomie and Gladys
- Love Actually once again
Tuesday, Dec 16
- I think chilled with roomie, David, Jay, Arnie, and Ryan W. at Turtle Rock and Starbucks and our apt magic mic-ing it
Wednesday, Dec 17
- stickball with Cristina, Jason, and Derrick (das rite dawg I can hit)...FUNTIMES!
- fun parking lot ride...tire problem...fun boba talk
- slept at 9am coz of roomie grr...haha jk...fun talk as usual...pancakes at 7am...A Walk To Remember till 9am
Thursday, Dec 18
- lunch with roomie, kat, and david
- south coast then david's apt with jay n david
- alone in the apt. kinda got ascurred. So woke someone up with a fonecall. Heehee sorry.
Friday, Dec 19
- went home home
Saturday, Dec 20
- house hunting
- church (yay church)
- mall
- Sorry Joanna couldn't go!
- Happy Birthday Tracy!
- woke someone up again demnit
Sunday, Dec 21
- mall once again. At first it was all fun and stuff, but when your feet get stepped on more than ten times it's over
I'm home home now. I've been home home since Friday thanx to Gladys n Tito. Woohoo. So far everything's gud. So far. We'll see wut happens in the next two weeks. I'm scared. I don't even know why. Demnit.
Weakness starting to take over me once again. Help?
To a special friend: I may not know the feeling of what you're going through. I may not fully understand your thoughts and feelings. I may not know what to say when you tell me your heartaches. I may not seem to have the answers to all your problems. But I'm always here to listen, and I'm here to tell you that boys suck so screw them all. ::Hug::
I love my mom. I never really realized what a strong person she is till now. It made me understand her a little bit more. I guess I can say she's been through things that I never really thought was a big deal...till now. I'm glad she's enjoying her new job. And how do I know this? She's been decorating her desk.
My sister's coming back from the Philippines tomorrow! Well actually today, Monday. I'm so excited! Not coz she's coming back, but because of my pasalubongs. Haha okai jk fine I miss her. Geeznuts.
Wow I'm actually sleepy. I think I should sleep early for once. I heard it's gud for you. Payce!
IBM Thinkpad Laptops are still on sale (A Series. $700-950) IM me if interested: buthafly.
Aaaah theres so much to blog about I don't know where to start! Actually, I kinda forgot about the stuff I wanted to write about. Oh well. This will be perty long. Let's see what I come up with...
I went to mass in OMGC this Saturday, and it felt kinda weird just coz I haven't been there in a while (I enjoy going to mass in Interfaith more coz I actually listen haha). So I sat there, about to space out as usual, but surprisingly I paid attention from start to finish. I thought it was a gud mass because I loved the songs they sang, and I actually listened and took in the words being said throughout the mass.
"Lord, make us turn to you, show us Your face, and we shall be saved." Sometimes I feel as though I'm too blind to see the positive things around me. I always dwell on the bad things that affect me, making me even more pessimistic towards anything I come across. It seems like I refuse to see the good things in life. I'm not exactly sure why. I realized that refusing to see the good made me refuse to see Him. If I don't see the good, how am I supposed to turn to Him and see Him? I need His help to make me see that there is more to life than going through hardtimes. I need Him to make me see the good things that make life worth living.
"With blessings come pain and suffering." Life can never be perfect. It will always have both good and bad times. Like what father said, Mary's blessing was to have Jesus as her son, but with it came the pain of seeing Him die on the cross. Life will hand us many many blessings, but it has to give us pain as well. Many people wish that life could just be perfect, with everyone happy, without suffering in this world. But perfect doesn't have to mean no pain and suffering. Perfect may simply mean seeing Him and doing His will in all that we say and do.
So newayssss...
Week after finals was a sleep filled week...yeahp approximately 12 hours of sleep each day (and that's just coz someone woke me up...I could've slept for days). But it's okai coz I had to get up some time rite. That week was a strong week for me too. No signs of weakness wutsoever. Yeahp that's right. I’m proud of it. Here's a recap of my week:
Monday, Dec 15
- work
- corned beef, fried rice with Vienna sausage nite with roomie and Gladys
- Love Actually once again
Tuesday, Dec 16
- I think chilled with roomie, David, Jay, Arnie, and Ryan W. at Turtle Rock and Starbucks and our apt magic mic-ing it
Wednesday, Dec 17
- stickball with Cristina, Jason, and Derrick (das rite dawg I can hit)...FUNTIMES!
- fun parking lot ride...tire problem...fun boba talk
- slept at 9am coz of roomie grr...haha jk...fun talk as usual...pancakes at 7am...A Walk To Remember till 9am
Thursday, Dec 18
- lunch with roomie, kat, and david
- south coast then david's apt with jay n david
- alone in the apt. kinda got ascurred. So woke someone up with a fonecall. Heehee sorry.
Friday, Dec 19
- went home home
Saturday, Dec 20
- house hunting
- church (yay church)
- mall
- Sorry Joanna couldn't go!
- Happy Birthday Tracy!
- woke someone up again demnit
Sunday, Dec 21
- mall once again. At first it was all fun and stuff, but when your feet get stepped on more than ten times it's over
I'm home home now. I've been home home since Friday thanx to Gladys n Tito. Woohoo. So far everything's gud. So far. We'll see wut happens in the next two weeks. I'm scared. I don't even know why. Demnit.
Weakness starting to take over me once again. Help?
To a special friend: I may not know the feeling of what you're going through. I may not fully understand your thoughts and feelings. I may not know what to say when you tell me your heartaches. I may not seem to have the answers to all your problems. But I'm always here to listen, and I'm here to tell you that boys suck so screw them all. ::Hug::
I love my mom. I never really realized what a strong person she is till now. It made me understand her a little bit more. I guess I can say she's been through things that I never really thought was a big deal...till now. I'm glad she's enjoying her new job. And how do I know this? She's been decorating her desk.
My sister's coming back from the Philippines tomorrow! Well actually today, Monday. I'm so excited! Not coz she's coming back, but because of my pasalubongs. Haha okai jk fine I miss her. Geeznuts.
Wow I'm actually sleepy. I think I should sleep early for once. I heard it's gud for you. Payce!
Saturday, December 20, 2003
Monday, December 15, 2003
Sunday, December 14, 2003
finals week is over thank God. i dont wana think about that now coz i dont think i did well in any of my finals. im perty sure itll be very painful wen i get my grades. oh well...sux to be me.
this week has been my bitterness week. despite all my theories about stuff, i think i rilly am jus one bitter person. haha. i have the tendency to think about the worst, most horrible, hateful case possible jus to not get my hopes up too high, to prepare myself for the disappointment, and simply make it easier for me to deal with it in the end. i mean its jus all in gud fun and shtuff, but wen it gets a little too painful i know it's time to stop. there may be times wen i get weak, but i think i would come out stronger wen its over. now i know how to deal. jus take it as it goes, no worries, dont trip, have fun, and play the game. thats right. we'll see who wins. :evil laugh:
sharing is caring. that quote fits real well this past week. it makes my heart smile wen people are willing to share a part of them to a person, with the kind of trust that makes a friendship stonger...it fills my heart with happiness...and gives me a better understanding of that person. its random times like these that make finals week much more easier to bear. haha. i love it. i love you!
friday nite was nap time...magic mic time with cristina n janice...and dinner with the roomies n david. i cooked pasta, rona cooked mashed potatoes, alisa cooked her rice, and chelle baked her special cake. oh n we bought chicken. ate a little bit too much but its all gud. i love my roomies. thanx rona for the cute gift! after dinner was party time with some sierra people. funtimes except for the cleaning up part. and stuff.
saturday...my day started at 3pm. nice. cleaned some more then dinner with gladys n tsai n roomie at sushi riki. rented while you were sleeping and got ice cream n popcorn n watched the movie at tsai's. bj n bel visited us thanx u guys. then two hours later decided to go to ihop. yeahp, we are officially a bunch of realy hungry people. AND THEN... ended up not paying for our food becoz some random person took care of our check. we were in awe for a while...didnt even know who the person was. love actually is all around...good deeds do make the world go round. thank you to whoever you are..haha like theyre gona read this. but seriously, makes me wana do a good deed...makes me wana be a better person... oooohh maybe now that person can be my number one! hahaa.
whoever wants to chill im gona be in irvine this whole week...i think. lets chill!
this week has been my bitterness week. despite all my theories about stuff, i think i rilly am jus one bitter person. haha. i have the tendency to think about the worst, most horrible, hateful case possible jus to not get my hopes up too high, to prepare myself for the disappointment, and simply make it easier for me to deal with it in the end. i mean its jus all in gud fun and shtuff, but wen it gets a little too painful i know it's time to stop. there may be times wen i get weak, but i think i would come out stronger wen its over. now i know how to deal. jus take it as it goes, no worries, dont trip, have fun, and play the game. thats right. we'll see who wins. :evil laugh:
sharing is caring. that quote fits real well this past week. it makes my heart smile wen people are willing to share a part of them to a person, with the kind of trust that makes a friendship stonger...it fills my heart with happiness...and gives me a better understanding of that person. its random times like these that make finals week much more easier to bear. haha. i love it. i love you!
friday nite was nap time...magic mic time with cristina n janice...and dinner with the roomies n david. i cooked pasta, rona cooked mashed potatoes, alisa cooked her rice, and chelle baked her special cake. oh n we bought chicken. ate a little bit too much but its all gud. i love my roomies. thanx rona for the cute gift! after dinner was party time with some sierra people. funtimes except for the cleaning up part. and stuff.
saturday...my day started at 3pm. nice. cleaned some more then dinner with gladys n tsai n roomie at sushi riki. rented while you were sleeping and got ice cream n popcorn n watched the movie at tsai's. bj n bel visited us thanx u guys. then two hours later decided to go to ihop. yeahp, we are officially a bunch of realy hungry people. AND THEN... ended up not paying for our food becoz some random person took care of our check. we were in awe for a while...didnt even know who the person was. love actually is all around...good deeds do make the world go round. thank you to whoever you are..haha like theyre gona read this. but seriously, makes me wana do a good deed...makes me wana be a better person... oooohh maybe now that person can be my number one! hahaa.
whoever wants to chill im gona be in irvine this whole week...i think. lets chill!