Material Things

It makes me sad when I think about how...

I lost my Sony Earbud Style Earphones that cost me $29.99 =(


My phone is running out of space and I need a memory card $39.99.


I lost my Blackberyy Premium Headset that will cost me $39.99 =((


The perfume that my mom got me from Paris, Juste Un Baiser by Fragonard, is almost done and there is no other fragrance that I can fall in love with as much as this one. $85 =(((


I had the first generation gameboy growing up lol and I remember playing Kirby all the time lol. So now I want this. Nintendo DSI $170



My four year old digital camera has given up on me (hence I haven't been taking that many pics lately) and is now looking to be replaced by the Canon Powershot SD1780 Gold for $250. =((((


I didn't lose or break one of these. I just really want it lol. Louis Vuitton Keepall 55 with shoulder strap for $1,250. =(((((


But it breaks my heart to see what other people have lost or broken from all the calamities that have been going on recently. Until after I use my money on necessities. Like car insurance. My education. And donating to those people who have nothing left but hope. Then I can think about twelve hundred dollar luggages. Maybe.


Donate.
http://edition.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/impact/

Serenity

I like this

“Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying, but the never needing to say is what counts.”

- Margaret Lee Runbeck

Tree

A friend invited me to an exhibit a while back about the different works of women throughout history. Initially, I wasn't really interested in going and told him, "I already know what they're gonna show and talk about. Women empowerment blahblahblah I get it. I'm all for it. I don't need to go to another one of those shows to be 'inspired' or whatever." After a whooole lot of convincing, I gave in and finally went. I vaguely remember seeing a lot of cool stuff. But the only one I will never forget was the poem below with the image of a woman with outstretched arms, so carefree, and peaceful. She had a tattoo done on her right chest after many months of healing and wrote about her story.

I am no longer afraid of mirrors where I see the sign of the amazon,

The one who shoots arrows.

There was a fine red line across my chest where a knife entered,

But now a branch winds about the scar and travels from arm to heart.

Green leaves cover the branch, grapes hang there and a bird appears.

What grows in me now is vital and does not cause me harm.

I think the bird is singing.

I have relinquished some of the scars.

I have designed my chest with the care given to an illuminated manuscript.

I am no longer ashamed to make love.

Love is a battle I can win.

I have the body of a warrior who does not kill or wound.

On the book of my body, I have permanently inscribed a tree.

- Deena Metzger, Tree, Photograph by Hella Hammid

For all the brave women who continue to fight breastcancer.

You are awesome.

Heavy

Now I've come to cry

Shed your skin to rest

My naked eye and criticize

All that I implore seems to be

One foot outside that door

Coming between me and waking

Underneath the corset

Of your mystery

Piece by piece, undress you

From your history

I'm sleeping with seclusion

In sweet disarray

You can go heavy on me

And I will not weigh you down, down, down

You can be steady and clean

I can take it heavy on me

And I will not weigh you down, down, down

Born unto this pride

Silence is something you can't hide

You can't deny us, oh

Nothing has been said, yet so many words have filled my head

Now they completely surround me

Tie the lines of honest conductivity

Caught between the center of our gravity

I don't have that much time to burn anymore

You can go heavy on me

And I will not weigh you down, down, down

You can be steady and clean

I can take it heavy on me

And I will not weigh you down

Underneath the corset of your mystery

Piece by piece, undress you from your history

I'm sleeping with seclusion in sweet disarray, ah
You can go heavy on me

And I will not weigh you down, down, down

You can be steady and clean

I can take it heavy on me

And I will not weigh you down, no

I will not weigh you down

- Heavy by Holly Brook

Nice Guys Finish Last

"You want to know why nice guys finish last? It’s because they aren’t willing to take a chance, they’re too tied to their rules. They see their girl at her most vulnerable moment, and instead of doing what they perceive as a dick move, they put their arms around her and they hold her. They listen to her weep and they don’t take control of the situation. She’s too precious to cut off. Let her weep.

Let me tell you this: nothing makes a broken woman feel more beautiful than to have a man swoop in and push her up against a wall to tell her how much better she is than that. To kiss her, I mean really kiss her, regardless of what she might think about that. You know why nice guys finish last? It’s because when a guy named Bayne leaves you for no good reason and you feel like you’ve been reduced to nothing, my nice guy won’t come over and say the things I really need to hear to understand that he loves me, I mean really loves me. Us ladies, we know we’re beautiful, we know we’re intelligent, we know we’re worth it and we’ll find “him” someday. What we really need to hear and more importantly feel (at that moment — from you, the nice guy)) is that we’re sexy, that our inner organs that separate us from you guys are actually worth something. That we’re so beautiful that you can’t and don’t care whether or not that kiss you’ve so desperately wanted to plant on us is going to ruin our friendship. We want you, the nice guy, to rebel against your rules and just do what feels right. Take control of the situation and tell us that this is fucking it, you are in love with me. You are so in love with me that you are so unbelievably ready to ruin our friendship for a chance at love. That you are willing to pick up that bat and attempt to hit the ball out of the fucking stadium. Because either you strike out or you hit a home run. No one wants to sit in the dugout."

Taken from http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/

Brighter Than Sunshine

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling
Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling
I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me
What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine

Suddenly you're mine I got a feeling in my soul ...

- Brighter Than Sunshine by Aqualung

"Our Path"

I like this picture a lot. Thanks to Pam for showing me another website to keep me from doing work.

Reprise

Does anyone else think that this is one of the best scenes in this awesome movie? Especially towards the end when the waves crash against the rock Ariel was on, dreaming about the day she will be part of Eric's world? No? Okai.

Soundtrack of my life

I found an old post back in April 2005 of the soundtrack of my life. I thought it'd be fun to see how my song choices have changed over the past four years. Here are my new answers:

Opening Credits: You Gotta Be by Des'ree
Waking-Up Scene: Better Together by Jack Johnson
Spring Scene: 1, 2, 3, 4 by Plain White T's
Average-Day Scene: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
Best-Friend Scene: Lucky by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat
First-Date Scene: Falling In Love at a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg
Falling-in-Love Scene: Somewhere Only We Know by Keane
Love Scene: Who Knows by Musiq Soulchild
High Scene: Unusual You by Britney Spears
Hook-Up Scene: Best I Ever Had by Drake (lol)

Sex Scene: Turning Me On by Keri Hilson ft. Lil Wayne
Summer Scene: Daylight by Matt & Kim
Fight-With-Friend Scene: That's What You Get by Paramore
Break-Up Scene: Dreaming With a Broken Heart by John Mayer
Get-Back-Together Scene: Make It Work by Neyo

Life's-Okay Scene: Somewhere Over The Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
Fall Scene: Grapevine Fires by Death Cab For Cutie
Heartbreak Scene: Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer
Mental-Breakdown Scene: I Feel So by Box Car Racer
Driving Scene: Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry

Winter Scene: Chasing Pavements by Adele
Lesson-Learning Scene: Magic by Colbie Caillat
Falling-Asleep Scene: Just Like A Star by Corrine Bailey Rae
Deep-Thought Scene: Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park
Flashback Scene: Gravity by Sara Bareilles

Party Scene: After the Party by Koffee Brown
Regret Scene: Broken Strings by James Morrison & Nelly Furtado
Happy-Dance Scene: P.Y.T. by Michael Jackson
Long-Night-Alone Scene: It's Not True by William Fitzsimmons
Spiritual Scene: All For Love by Hillsong

Closing Credits: Don't Stop Believing by Journey


What's your in your soundtrack?

I don't like posting all my quiz results on facebook, so I'm putting one here because not everyone reads this anyway. Yes, I am embarassed to let everyone know that I take a lot of facebook quizzes okai! Whatever, you know you do it too. I bet you're gonna look for this quiz right now. It's cool, I won't tell.

WHO IS YOUR LIFETIME MATCH?
They are born between 22nd May - 21st June

You're not prone to falling head over heels in love. However, you do find yourself falling in love, but slowly. Beforehand, you like to put your devoted admirer to the test. You need intellectual exchanges. To seduce you, this person best not be your average Joe and they will know how to get off the beaten track. And most importantly, they won't smother you. Very independent you are and you need your freedom to be happy. Before committing yourself, you reflect for a long time, which generally allows you to make the right decision. It's not easy to tie you down... But it's a different matter with this kind of person. You will find their intelligence and bubbly character attractive. You can speak about anything with them and are enriched by your contact with them. They respect your independent spirit because they are also obsessed with liberty. You don't feel like they enclose you in a cage. Quite the opposite, they help you to escape from routine. And in bed, all's good! You're both very imaginative and have a lot of fun together.

Quarter Life Crisis by Brenda Della Casa

They call it the “Quarter life Crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, may, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.You look at your job, and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confuse. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be contender. What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Wow. I've had this blog for seven years now. A-mazing.

Just a quick update on my life:

My Work is getting to me, but I do enjoy working with my coworkers.
My School is stressing me out, but my professor is very encouraging so it’s motivating.
My Family is awesome.
My Friends are crazy.
My Love Life is effed.

I told you it was quick.

Man, I feel weird writing on here now. I think people gave up on checking if this has been updated anyway. So I guess now I can really say what I want to say without being careful of offending anyone. Jk. I guess I’ll just post my…

Top 10 Pet Peeves (in no particular order):

1. People who think “conversate” is a word. Homie, stop trying to sound smart because you’re sounding like the complete opposite of it right now.
2. People who say, “I’m really bad with names.” Yes, why don’t we just tell people we just met that we don’t care that much to remember them.
3. People who repeat lines in a movie WHILST the movie is playing. Were you in the movie? Because I don’t see you on the screen!
4. People who pretend they’re someone they’re not. Open to your own interpretation.
5. Grammar/Spelling offenders. I mean They’re/There/Their are not interchangeable!
6. People who want a taste of the smallest piece possible of your food and refuse to get the piece that’s half a millimeter more than the “small” piece because it’s “too much”.
7. Straight men who are more vain than women.
8. People condescendingly telling me things that they think I have no knowledge about.
9. Tippies.
10. Men with no balls.

What are yours?

I finished my very first audit at American Golf in Santa Monica. Well, not completely. We packed up last week and did all our last minute work to finish up. I got a little emo (haha) because it was my very first project. It was a bittersweet goodbye because it was like the end of an era (haha), but I learned a lot working there, and I knew it was time to move on. There are still a lot to finish, and it will take months before everything is closed. But in the meantime, I'm now at my second audit in Sony Pictures in Culver City. Not really sure what it's going to be like over here, but so far the people have been nothing but nice and friendly. That's always a good thing. I was working here the whole week last week, but I wasn't settled in yet because the person I'm replacing was still here. So I asked my boss if I could go back to American Golf to do some of my work over there. I was just so used to it over there that I wanted to go back. My boss said I should stay where I am because we can only go back if absolutely necessary. I guess it is unnecessary to go back. I should be happy where I'm at right now. My first project was a really good experience, but it had to end sometime right? It's just one of the many chapters, and there's many more to come. I'm not sure how ready I am to take on the next step, but I'm glad I know a whole lot more than when I first started.

How can I not love my new assignment when: 1) They have good tea 2) They have free soda (not that I drink soda, but it's still nice to know I can get it anytime for free 3) I get to look at documents for movie expenses and celebrity itineraries! 4) They have cool office parties coz they serve beer and wine 5) I have an amazing/gorgeous/beautiful view of the Westside Los Angeles area. I love my job.

I love how I can be vague but not appear vague, so now you're thinking what was so vague about my so-called "vague" post, when it's clearly not vague at all, but I'm thinking hmm how can I make it even more vague? Haha.

The worst part is over. I hope. I stripped away all the reminders that put me through the past couple months. I think I'm okay.

My grandpa was at the hospital for hemorrhoids. Yeah, I know, gross haha. But I'm kinda glad it's hemorrhoids and not anything more scary. I visited him by myself on Sunday, and I was kinda glad I did. I wouldn't normally go on my own, but it was nice. We chit chatted for a little bit, usual stuff that he would bring up, like my job, school, politics (haha yeah I pretend I don't know what's going on, well actually I really don't know what's going on, and he pretends he knows everything going on, but I don't think he does. Haha whatever makes him feel cool right?). I heard his surgery went well (thanks Tito Dennis lol) so yaay.

My room is too cluttered. I need room to breathe.

I had a good day at work today. It revived me a little bit.

I love my friends.

It's so hard to play match maker. LOL. I have no idea how to do it hahaha.

Bedtime! Gnite kids.

In keeping with today’s theme, here is a quote that I overheard one lady at work say (while I was working hard of course): “When you keep on saying you’re old, you’re just gonna start thinking old, feeling old, and acting old. And you know, it’s like you’re just waiting to die.” LOL. Wow, I know I’m a year older today, but I’m not waiting to die! Happy fourth 21st birthday to me haha. Thanks for all the birthday texts, phonecalls, and facebook/myspace messages. Even though I didn’t get any flowers delivered to my work (Haha that’s always been a dream of mine. For someone to send me flowers at work and everyone’s like ooohhh who’s that froooom. Of couse it’d be funner if it was from a secret admirer but you know I’d still love the flowers as much if it was from friends. I think. Haha. It’s okai guys, there’s always next year), you all still make my heart smile =). THANK YOU!

I look for mistakes for a living. I analyze a bunch of data and nitpick every single detail that I see, and hope there’s an error in there somewhere. Because when I find errors, it means I’m doing my job well. My boss trains me how I can easily spot errors by teaching me how I could manipulate the data so that the errors stick out. When I find these mistakes, I do my research to prove that these are indeed errors. Then, print out all my supporting documents to provide evidence for my claims. My success is defined by how many errors I find. So far, I’m doing really well. At least my boss and my boss’s boss think so. I wish my life could be defined the same way. If it was, then I would be extremely successful in doing exactly that, every single day of my life.

Really random thoughts that have accumulated in my head these past few weeks…


You know the cliché, you never really know what you have until it's gone? Well, I think it's bull. Haha. I think we know exactly what we have. We just take them for granted. We know it's there, but we choose to ignore it. We want to believe that it will always be there, and that it will never leave. And when the time comes when "it's gone", that's when we start paying attention.

I always wanted to think I'm the type of girl who is strong, independent, does not/will not let anyone control my actions. I thought I would never let anything get in my way to do whatever I want. I always thought I was the type of girl who knows the right thing to do, and by the "right thing", I mean the logical thing. I thought nothing can ever penetrate the "wall" that I put up. I thought my mind would always dominate my heart. But I realized that this is not who I really am, but it's who I want everyone to believe I am. I never wanted to admit how important it is in my life. I didn't want to be that kind of girl who I've always criticized. I hate to think that that's who I've become. But really, I've been in denial for so long that I think it's about time I realize that it's okay.

I passed my class. But seriously, there was a huge possibility of me failing that class. I swear, I counted my points and everything. But I guess studying for that final paid off. Even though it was somewhat difficult for me to concentrate at the time, I guess it worked. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I didn't pass. I know it doesn't really matter now because I graduated and everything, but of course the thought of failing something never feels good. I guess I deserve the scare since it was completely my fault for not doing better in that class. I could've easily gotten a better grade if I wanted to. But I chose not to. That's another way of saying I was just lazy, and well, a little distracted. Oh, Cressa the things you do.

The holidays will always be a constant reminder of how fat you are/you will be. Wait, lemme edit that. My grandparents will always be my constant reminder of how fat I am/will be. Like literally. They remind me. Every year. To my face. It's like dude, do you think I don't know that? It's like they don't think I know I'm fat that they have to give me a reality check or something. But seriously, tell me something I don't know. It's like me telling them, "Gosh grandma, you're so old and wrinkly. Stop aging!" Lol. Okay I'll stop. I'm just really annoyed.

I never let a good opportunity pass me by. At least I thought it was a good opportunity. It was an opportunity to start over and see what else is out there for me. I said no. It was a perfectly good opportunity of starting something new and exciting. I think. Haha. But I guess it wasn't that great to begin with if I didn't go for it. Right?

Have you ever had those moments when you think you know how you would react to a situation, and you do the complete opposite of what you would normally do? And then you're going crazy thinking how you could possibly be acting the way you're not supposed to, and then you get all confused and even crazier because you can't seem to stop feeling the way you're feeling, and you don't know when it'll ever stop. Yeah, I think I'm going crazy.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without you consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Damnit, it's not working haha.

I've been let down so many times in my life I should be immune to it by now. But I'm still not. I wonder if there's a drug or a vaccine I could take so I could be "immune" to it. Haha I'm so lame.

If I was a guy, I wonder how I'd be like. I think I'll be a really good boyfriend. But then again, maybe I'm just saying that because I'm a girl and I know what's it's like to be a girl *sigh*

I saw P.S. I Love You with the ladies this past weekend. The one Saturday night I don't party, of course is spend bawling to a chick flick.

But in the end, despite all my rants and raves, there are still no words to express how thankful I am for all the blessings I've had up to this point in my life. I have great friends, a good job, and a very loving family (haha). What more could I possibly ask for? Well, lemme just tell you what. Haha jk. Okay, not really. But seriously, there's no doubt that I have been given everything I could ever need, and I am forever grateful for all that. Thank You for everything.

Time to focus.

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

John Mayer

It's not a silly little moment

It's not the storm before the calm

This is the deep and dyin breath of

This love we've been workin on

Can't seem to hold you like I want to

So I can feel you in my arms

Nobody's gonna come and save you

We pulled too many false alarms

We're goin down

And you can see it too

We're goin down

And you know that we're doomed, my dear

We're slow dancing in a burnin room

I was the one you always dreamed of

You were the one I tried to draw

How dare you say it's nothing to me

Baby, you're the only light I ever saw

I'll make the most of all the sadness

You'll be a bitch because you can

You try to hit me just hurt me

So you leave me feeling dirty

Because you can't understand

We're goin down, and you can see it too

We're goin down, and you know that we're doomed

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burnin room

Go cry about it why don't you

We're slow dancin' in a burnin' room

Don't you think we oughta know by now

Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow