aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i jus lost the post i wrote demnit! lets try to rewrite...

yay im blogging! finally! im gona try to update it more often now becoz i wana be cool like everyone else. yaaaay! so heres my life so far...

SCHOOL
im doing better than i expected! i got a nine out of ten in my first math quiz (when i thought i was gona get a 1) and i participated in my women's studies discussion (cookie for me) and ive been doing my readings (sumtoimes). school is cool. so far.

WORK
so ive been looking for a job since summer. but no one wanted me so i dint have a job...until this week! i went on four interviews and i got three job offers =). just wen i thought i was some useless piece of $#@!...they call me and tell me they wana hire me. :tears of joy: :sniff sniff snif:

WYSE (Women and Youth Supporting Each Other)
wyse is an orgnization that mentors twelve to fourteen yr old young girls. this year, im a mentor in the spurgeon middle school in santa ana. we've only been to two sessions with our girls and its been fun so far. we get to play games while getting to know them in a deeper level, so we can talk about issues that these girls need to be aware of (sex, drugs, family probs, school probs, peer pressure, future goals/plans, anything else). its kind of a weird feeling being somewhat of a "role model" for these girls coz i dont rilly feel worthy of being looked up to. sad but true. but ill still try.

ANNIV
happy fifteen months today. yehey.

FUN STUFF
sierra party here last nite. i volunteered to be the sober one (meaning the one who would have to deal with the cops in case they come knocking on our door) but i still had fun. it was nice to meet the adorable new sierrans and see old sierrans too. thanx to everyone who helped us fix up the apartment and clean and look after people and stuff like that. you know who you are. you're da bomb diggity.

LIWANAG (light of god)
i jus joined liwanag this year and i can already see how amazing these people are. i didnt think i was gona stick with it till i came to their meetings n bonfire n homeless outreach. these people are seriously the most welcoming group of people ive ever met. i cant even express how happy i am to be part of it. i jus wish i joined it earlier (but i couldnt coz of sierra class last year). theyre so awesome its not even funnie. haha. cristina n leo are the coolest directors this year. my tdg family (true disciples) rocks (go mom francha). and everyone else is great. liwanag is the coolest thing ever.

life does not suck as much as before. thank you god for listening to me =).

too many heartaches bottled up inside
i dont even wana bother let it all out coz it seems pointless
ill jus end up crying my eyes out
but hey theres jus some people who make it all better even for jus a short while
they dont know how much laughter means to me
it feels great
but sometimes
i jus need to do my own thing
i need to be stronger
i need faith
well...i need to chillax
but i cant
so wat am i supposed to do?
i don't know
maybe i should cry some more
haha
nope
i need to hold on and believe
yeah rite
thats bullshit
wutever
ionow
we'll see wut happens
rite now
i jus need to do my shit
that's all
gnite

Think Of Me
by Mark Schultz & Rachel Lampa

Packing my bag this morning was the hardest thing to do,
But packing my bag was so easy compared to standing outside your door
right now to say goodbye,

Think of me...
I know you've never seen me cry,
Think of me...
But it's so hard to say goodbye,
Think of me...
what can I say to show you,
I'll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you

I will be there when you call
I will see you through it all
and even in your darkest hour,
I pray that the Lord we found
Will set you on solid ground

I know that it feels like leaving
is a part of letting go
But I'm praying with hope and believing
That I'll see you once again down this road
I hope that it won't be long

Think of me...
I know God brought you as a friend,
Think of me...
I know he'll bring you back again,
Think of me...
What can I say to show you,
I"ll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you

I will be there when you call
I will see you through it all
and even in your darkest hour,
I pray that the Lord we found
Will set you on solid ground

Think of me...
I know you've never seen me cry
Think of me...
But it's so hard to say goodbye
Think of me...
What can I say to show you
I'll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you

I will be there when you call
I will see you through it all
and even in your darkest hour,
I pray that the Lord we found
Will set you on solid ground

Interesting thought that my professor in my Psych class said:

"Happiness is the process of not being afraid of unhappiness."

What do u think? Very true.

last week i felt loike $#@!
this week i feel much better
how did that happen?
i dealt with it.

oooh yah

July 18, 2003

HAPPY ONE YEAR HUN =)

July 17, 2003

Maroon 5
Counting Crows
John Mayer

Funtoimes.

And once again, another quote of the day from Sue:

XchopYsueyZ (2:00:24 PM): i wanna be home w/ my girls
XchopYsueyZ (2:00:29 PM): loike real girls
XchopYsueyZ (2:00:31 PM): not wannabe girls

Convo of the day with Chelle:

i am meechy keen (5:43:40 PM): i hate this summer
Buthafly (5:44:45 PM): i know it sux
Buthafly (5:44:51 PM): theres nuttin to do
i am meechy keen (5:44:56 PM): seriously
i am meechy keen (5:45:00 PM): i have NO:
i am meechy keen (5:45:02 PM): job
i am meechy keen (5:45:09 PM): fun
i am meechy keen (5:45:12 PM): books
i am meechy keen (5:45:15 PM): license
i am meechy keen (5:45:16 PM): boy
i am meechy keen (5:45:20 PM): sleep
i am meechy keen (5:45:28 PM): food
i am meechy keen (5:45:39 PM): even though i shouldnt have the food
i am meechy keen (5:45:40 PM): lol
i am meechy keen (5:45:43 PM): NO:
i am meechy keen (5:45:45 PM): gym
i am meechy keen (5:45:49 PM): money
i am meechy keen (5:45:52 PM): man o man
i am meechy keen (5:45:55 PM): i have nothing
i am meechy keen (5:45:56 PM): nothing
i am meechy keen (5:45:57 PM): nothing
Buthafly (5:46:02 PM): bwhahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha
i am meechy keen (5:46:05 PM): if i dont have u

guess who got her license today?!?!?!?!?

XchopYsueyZ (1:31:15 PM): i just wish i could find one straight boy for me n the rest of the world can be gay

And yes, I'm still alive!

the last few weeks of school have been crazy. foinals and all that crap: over!

the very last week of school was fun interesting toimes all the toime. yeaaahp. fun interesting toimes indeed.

move out day was the worst day. sierra has been one of the greatest things that has happened to me, and leaving was one of the hardest things i've ever done. i'll miss you all. we need to party hardcore next yr!

so neways, this summer i wana be productive. summer school, summer job, volunteer. yeahp thats roite. u think i can do it? of course i can. i think. we'll see.

thanx sue.

demnit i need to blog

Complicated Melody
by
India Arie

If he were a color
He'd be a deep dark forest green
If he were a car
He'd be a long stretch limousine
With room for all of humanity inside

Cause he is so giving
And he is so wise
If he were a number
He'd be a five
Cause he has such a brilliant mind
If he were an animal
He'd be an ass
Cause he's so stubborn sometime
But if he were a song
He'd be a complicated melody
That complicated fellow he
I almost cannot sing it on key
But he means the world to me
If he were a building
He'd be a beautiful cathedral
Cause he's so traditionally spiritual
If he were a dance
He'd be complicated like the tango
Exotic like a mango
But if he were a song
He'd be a complicated melody
That complicated fellow he
I almost cannot sing it on key
But he means the world to me
He ain't the reason for the sun and the moon
He is just the reason for this here tune
Cause he means the world to me
Said he means the world to me
Me me me yeah
He means the world to me yeah
Complicated melody that complicated fellow he
He's complicated melody
I almost cannot sing it on key

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My Mother Taught Me...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about PATIENCE. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14.My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. " Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP . "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. " Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite : my mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

______________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Best Things In Loife (highlighted ones are extra special to me)

> 1. Falling in love.
>
> 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
>
> 3. A hot shower.
>
> 4. No lines at the supermarket.
>
> 5. A special glance.
>
> 6. Getting mail.
>
> 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
>
> 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
>
> 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
>
> 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
>
> 11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
>
> 12. Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla!) (or strawberry).
>
> 13. A long distance phone call.
>
> 14. A bubble bath.
>
> 15. Giggling.
>
> 16. A good conversation.
>
> 17. The beach.
>
> 18. Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.
>
> 19. Laughing at yourself.
>
> 20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
>
> 21. Running through sprinklers.
>
> 22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
>
> 23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
>
> 24. Laughing at an inside joke.
>
> 25. Friends.
>
> 26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
>
> 27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
>
> 28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
>
> 29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
>
> 30. Playing with a new puppy.
>
> 31. Having someone play with your hair.
>
> 32. Sweet dreams.
>
> 33. Hot chocolate.
>
> 34. Road trips with friends.
>
> 35. Swinging on swings.
>
> 36. Eating cookies and drinking your favorite hot toddy.
>
> 37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
>
> 38. Going to a really good concert.
>
> 39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
>
> 40. Winning a really competitive game.
>
> 41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
>
> 42. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
>
> 43. Spending time with close friends.
>
> 44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
>
> 45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
>
> 46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
>
> 47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
>
> 48. Watching the __expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
>
> 49. Watching the sunrise.
>
>50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

saturday morning...main library...tide and noczema...no "thirteen!"...west covina...opppps....tito ruben ninong boy manang tita ching haaahaaaa... always and forever aaww...stupid islands waiter...tour around irvine..till the spectrum...prom flashbacks...go lakers woooh...massages...studytoime...no in and out dinner...just a trader joe's one...still no "thirteen!"......no more tears.

thanx for another fun weekend =).

Sue's line for the day:

XchopYsueyZ (9:53:13 AM): im thinkin 2 things... im loike... wtf? he's prolee lying... den im loike.. wtf is wrong w/ me? y can't i befriend anyone straight?

spring break is oveeer demnit. =(

wow this has been a very rare day...a day when i have nothing due tomorroooow woohooooo i feel freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. it seems so nice to finally feel so light with no worries or anything like that. i mean know i still have a lot of stuff to deal with later on. but rite now i jus wana sit and jus breathe. ive been busy for the past couple of weeks and i havent rilly had time to jus breathe. and would anyone believe me if i say there was a point when i couldnt even talk on the fone for 2 nights in a row coz i was BUSY? well, its true. and it sucked. big time. i promise. i swear. heehee.

i jus had a fun convo with my mom tonite. it was the usual...

mom: o anak. why arent u sleeping yet?
me: mom its 8:30.
mom: oh eh dont u have class tomorrow
me: yeah
mom: o did u eat yet?
me: uhuh
mom: wut did u eat?
me: chicken...kiev
mom: ano yon?
me: heehee iono sumtin chicken
mom: mmmhm...o sleep ka na
me: okai
mom: gudnite anak..i lab u
me: luv u too mom

nothing special, but jus fun. we talked about other things and she was jus being funnie. its weird coz i was the one who called her this time (yeah coz shes the one who calls me usually ...wait not usually...she's the one who calls me everyday). so yeah i called my mom and she was fun. haha. she was being like a mom and a friend. it was nice. i jus wish its always like that.

writing 39C sux....calc rules

school suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuux

yay new blooooooooog wahoooo. thanx to shelley chelle...i mite change it again but we'll see...its still under construction so ima fix the links n stuff soon. yaay.

JANUARY 3, 2003

happy 19th birthday to me! man i cant believe i only have one teen year left. im old waaaaah. i dont know if i would still like having birthdays after this one. haha. im technically everyone's ate...and also a craddle-rockin cray-z cress. grrreaat. but newaysss, the idea of having to spend my birthday in school, on the first day of classes is not new to me (coz it's been like that for the past 3-4 years). so i thought my special day was gona suck like a duck. but i was wrong. on thursday, january 2 at 11:30ish pm, i got a call from a special hane telling me to look out my window and see the best surprise ever (well it wasnt rilly a surprise...it was a semi-surprise i guess heehee). that jus made my day like u dont even know =).

so the next day, my real birthday, i felt so blessed to know that a lot of people actually remembered my birthday. you guys are the best i swear! i wana thank everyone who came here to celebrate my special day with me: chang, bel, maria, mari, (shar we miss u soo much), keith, sue, gladys, cool fartnah, my zeezter, and hane. even though we didnt get to go to stupid pat n oscar's, islands was still great because u guys jus made it so special. thank you! we should have more funtimes like that (i know sue and cool fartnah had funtimes after dinner with the help of my sister tsk tsk). oooh and chelle makes the best cake ever...and mmhhmmm it is better than sex. oh no wait i wouldnt know. only chelle would. thanx roomate!

again, thanx so much to everyone who greeted me u guys r the bestest. i luv u!

the next day i was supposed to go home...but me, sister, hun, and sue ate at ihop first. then it was time to go home =(. said our see u laters, got home, went to church =), went out for dinner, and finally got home and had...

THE TALK with my mom. this time it was foreal. everything was said. and i mean everything. there was no point of hiding nething anymore. it wasnt very pretty. but i got through it. it wasnt a succesful talk either coz nothing got settled. it was more of a revelation of feelings and differences. or maybe a realization that i can never win or even compromise with her. it was a disagreement where eveyrthing was jus put out there, left there hanging, because there seems to be no solution. that was the low point of my day. right after my birthday too wahoo. so now the only question ive been asking myself is: what the hell am i supposed to do?

so yeah, im doomed forever because i dont think she'll let me out of the house ever again. good timing rite? yup. its great =/.

jogging is funtimes all the time. i luv every minute of it =).

I NEED TO CHANGE MY TEMPLATE DAMNIT SOMEONE HELP ME!

OMG yes im alive! i know i know i havent blogged for the longest time. its all college’s fault. yup...college...a very interesting time of my life. well i guess i can say im liking college. well actually i just like the freedom, not the studying part. ive only experienced 3-4 months of college life and i feel like ive learned a lot. and i mean a lot a lot. haha. yuppp thats rite. i learned that....

1) i can actually survive without my mom doing everything for me.
2) if you have 12-14 units...you have to study 36-42 hours a week.
3) college is a time wehn you experiment or try different things...so the stupid things that you dont count because you’re jus experimenting rite?
4) i learned a lot more things...but id rather not share haha

December 9-13
so finals came and i tried to do my best...but i guess it didnt rilly work...ah wutever. that week was funtimes all the time neway =).

December 13
watched the lion king! i liked it and actually appreciated every single aspect of the play...unlike some people who just dont get it. tsk tsk tsk. i wanted to be in a musical after watching it heeheeeee.

December 14-22
- driving week..bleh
- 18th —> =) got the best origami creation haha
- found out my permit isnt valid...daaaamn dmv
- chill week....yaaaaay =)
- shopping week...wahoo
- two weeks notice.. aaaww
- tiffany’s gift from mom...grreat

December 22-23
skt sleepover at sue’s! awww i luv my girls...the best part was sunday night...wen we all exchanged gifts (i love all my gifts thanx again u guys) and jus talked and talked and talked and of course talked some more. im thankful for being so blessed to have a group of friends who i know i can trust. thanx u guys. we’re so cool haha. shar we miss u come back!

saw more people the next day...aww i miss seeing familiar faces...for those who came to sue’s house u guys rock wahoo.

December 24
went to the dmv to finally fix my godamn permit problem..then chilled at hun’s house in the morning...yaaay thanx to ur mom for feeding me once again. went home...took a long nap.... and then midnite mass..then lola’s house for christmas dinner! yummmy.

December 25
tita’s house in walnut...food..food...food...and money wahooo.....charades with cousins and titas bwhahahahahahaha that was the best.

December 26-27
i went “jogging with sue.” =) sue ur the best i owe u. remember ur not number 2...ur ur 1.5 =) santa monica aww it was so perty and sunny i luved it...and once again...thanx to ur mom hun for feeding me.

SO YEAH...so far my break isnt so bad i guess. well actually, i dunno. i havent rilly been very enthusiastic at home. maybe sumtimes. when im out, thats definitely happy times for me. so yeah. i duno. i miss my freedom. i guess thats one of the reasons why i wana go back to irvine. i want my freedom back. but then again, going back to school means no more fun “jogging” times. =(. makes me sad. feels like the end of summer all over again. but i guess ill jus have to deal. coz wut else can i do. *sigh*

i feel like blogging. but i dont have all my thoughts organized yet. ima be bloggin soon. i hope. something that makes sense for once. so watch out.

QUOTE OF THE DAY FROM SUE

XchopYsueyZ (2:26:05 PM): maybe i'll be happier if i turn homo.

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wow im alive yaaaay. so i havent blogged in awhile. sowee about that. ive been busy with school and stuff that i havent even been reading other people's blogs nemore. but now im not gona be as stressed coz i finally dropped my programming class wahoo. i felt so good after i dropped it...it was like...like...like...heaven. bwhahahha no. so now i dunno wut i wana major in nemore. im lost. im confused. im a bum. oh well. sux to be me.

this week has been perty arite. im liking sierra more n more each day. its hella fun here....but sometimes its too much...wahaha no jk. but i like it here a lot. the people here are too cool wahoooo.

im missing everyone more n more each day too. yeah everyone. if ur reading this, ur prolly part of "everyone." i miss kickin it with my girls =(. but its all gud. we all better kick it soon...which is iono...thanksgiving break? or christmas. hellz yah.

okai thats all for now coz im getting sleepy. sleepytime for me. this weekend was too tiring for me. a good kind of tiring. i had major funtimes =).

I scored a 17% on the "How Much Asian Pride Do You Have?" Quizie! What about you?

bwhahahahaahahaaa

yay i just had my first weekend in irvine! wahoooooooooooo. friday nite went clubbin...then party here in sierra..yaaay. and yes, im very very sorry if thats my way of having fun here. ill try not to have fun if that makes u happy.

wahhahaahhahaha im jez keddeng!

so midterms r coming.....im screwed.....like u dont even know...but wutever.....wut can i do...oh actually i can study...thats one plan... hmmm.....maybe i should huh...okai fine....studytime....blog again later.

oh hey wuts the date today? hmmm...is there's sumtin special bout today?...naaaah nm i dont think so. =)

man i havent blogged foreal since i got here. oh well sux to be me. theres jus nothing that interesting to blog about...at least nothing that i would wana share to everyone. oh well. now sux to be u. waaaha no. okai time for randomness....

so i hate college. well not rilly. sometimes. i like the fact that...
1) it's mom-free
2) i can do wutever i want
3) i can have as much naptimes as i want
4) somehow...theres always food somewhere here...not good food but its still food
5) no helicopters to wake me up every morning
6) my hall: funtimes

BUT i don't like the fact that...
1) it's not home =(

so yeah...i miss LA...and my house.

but sometimes it sux...coz whenever i come home...i feel like im jus visiting...coz half of my stuff's not there...and i know that id be back in irvine the next day. special thanx to kat for making me feel this way. =(

oh yeah and i hate the fact that i dont get programming. shyet.

but wutever. im still adjusting i guess. im in a wutever mood rite now. so wutever. waaaha okai ima shuttup. no wait. i was gona say sumtin. but i forgot. hmmm...oh shit i jus saw a black butterfly outside my window rite now. doesnt that mean sumtin bad? waaah im scurred.

okai top 10 randomness...
1) my mom's bein extra nice to me these days it's RILLY scary
2) the line that i hear at least 10 times everyday here..."get off the fone cressa!!!!!!"
3) programming can be fun if i actually get it
4) finally everyone in SKT is legal wahoo
5) i have a midterm on halloween....dundundauunnnnn
6) chelle made me steal food from the commons
7) chelle loves boys with the same letters in their name
8) i have a new best friend named BIG D
9) no one ever sleeps in this friggin hall
10) I DO MY HOMEWORK DAMNIT

okai enough for now.

someone help me with my computer science programming skills...coz i dont have any.

college sucks. sometimes. ima die in my computer science class. someone help me? waah.

my mom hasnt called me in two days. im scared.

man i need to update. but im too lazy. basically school's been eeeh coz of friggin hw. but i like it here in sierra (my hall) coz everyone's so fun. woohoo. i had fun this weekend. yaay for bel on saturday woohoo heehee. i had fun. had to go back to irvine saturday nite. and yeah. best weekend ever haha. except for some parts. sux. but wutever. life goes on. and its time to do homework.

LOOK AT CHELLE'S BLOG STARTING SUNDAY COZ I DID PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THANG EXCEPT FOR SOME STUFF.

im in irvine now. wahoooo im free. it's fun here. but i still have to get used to it. i miss summer. but im ready to learn.

WELCOME BACK COOLEST SISTER!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMILLE TODAY!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RING SISTER KAMILLE YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow im blogging two days in a row. high five for me. wahoo. so neways, i had a good day today. i chilled with my cousins again yaaay. im gona miss them when i leave =(. of course wut else do we do when we're bored? eat. well thats what i do all the time neway but wutever. its funner when theyre eating with me. we cooked pasta and baked brownies yaaay. i luv my cousins to death.

after that chelle and coleen came here coz they love me like that. we jus chilled here, tryin to make colette's camera timer work. after wasting 2 random pictures we finally got it. yaaaay. it was nice chillen with chelleen again, even though it was just for a couple of hours. crechelleen will have more funtimes soooon. we better shooooo. colette, u will have funtimes in poly dont worry!

so today was a record breaking day. my mom called me only twice today. wahoo. thats like an accomplishment for her. i luv my mom. ima miss her nagging on me everyday. well actually, she'll prolly be doin that in irvine, so i guess i wont have to miss it. she's the best mom...sometimes.

so all in all, i guess i had a good day today. i dint cry wahoooo. nyahaha. i guess im slowly taking in the fact that everything is changing, and theyre all good changes. im slowly accepting the fact that summer is over, and its time to get back to work. time to explore the college world and have funtimes. i guess im more excited now. not as much as chelle still. but im getting there. me n chelle better have funtimes shit. well ob courze we will. =)

im feeling this song rite now...

"Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)"

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to do.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf of good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
I hope you had the time of your life.

I hope you had the time of your life

my mom is fun....

*fone rings*

me: hello?
mom: hellow anak. did the plumber come yet?
me: not yet mom.
mom: okei. call me when he comes okei?
me: okai bye.

an hour later...*fone rings*

me: hello?
mom: is the plumber there now?
me: no he's not.
mom: aye nako. da manager said he will cam today...or tomorrow.
me: he's not here yet mom.
mom: aye nako.
me: ill wait tomorrow then.
mom: ayeee if he das not cam early tomorrow i will call dat manager.
me: orite mom.
mom: o sige babay.

later in the afternoon...*fone rings*

me: hello?
mom: hello anak. wat are you doen?
me: oh nuttin
mom: ay nako fix ur room.
me: mom r u bored or sumtin. this is ur third call.
mom: yah. i don peel like doen work.
me: waahaaa moooom go do ur stuuuuff.
mom: ayoko. im too lazy rite now.
me: and thats why ur buggin me.
mom: yah. aye nako anak im pagod olready.
me: okai mom then go eat or sumtin.
mom: no. i heb a lot of work to do bat i dont peel like doen it.
me: then dont bug meeeeee.
mom: o sige. did u eat yet?
me: yes.
mom: okai anak. ill call u again later babay.

and thats why i luv her.

THIS IS THE BLOG I WROTE FRIDAY MORNING...

I woke up this morning thinking about what today will be like. I looked out the window and saw how beautiful it was outside. I thanked God for that. I thanked him for the pretty sun, the cool air, and the nice breeze. I realized that I have taken for granted those simple things in life that I should be thankful for. I realized that life can be as simple as knowing that tomorrow will be another day that may be as beautiful as today.

I woke up this morning and told myself not to worry. Everything will be okai. The past week has been both fun and sad. I just cant believe that summer is rilly over. It’s been the best summer ive had so far, and i duno how im gona deal with all the changes that have been happening, or will happen. But wutever happens, i know i’ll get through it. It’s been perty hard, but life is never easy neway. When i feel like hell, i jus cry it out. Then after that i feel somewhat better. I guess that’s good. But i’m getting perty tired of crying...i duno wen it’ll stop.

I’m moving out this sunday...woohoo. I guess I’m excited, but not as much as chelle. Which scares me a lil bit, but I’m sure i’ll be fine. I promised myself that I’ll try to have funtimes with all the new people ima meet, becoz if I dont, then im jus gona be a losery bum. And I don’t want that.

This has been a random blog. I suck. I cant rilly think straight rite now. Well when did i ever think straight neway. Wutever. Tomorrow will be just be another day. Hope it will be as perty as today. It better be. I need sumtin to cheer me up. Tomorrow will be another long losery day for me. But I know “tomorrow”, i’ll be happy again, becoz funtimes arent over yet. The sun better be shining again.

life sucks.

fun interesting week for meeeeeeeee....

i actually dont remember exactly (which means in great detail) wut ive been doin since monday, so im jus gona tell u

monday sept 2
labor day. went with mom and sister to beverly center (jus to go to sanrio and buy cute useless stuff), then to the hollywood and highland mall.

tuesday-thursday sept 3-5
chilled with my cousins and bj.

friday sept 6
this one i remember. i woke up eeeaaarrrlyy (which is like 7:30...woohoo thats like...wow rilly) to go to my cousin's just to chill. so of course i mooch of them once again coz they have everything there. and then i went back home to chill with bj.

then later that nite i found out my sister was goin clubbing. then my mom told her, "why dont u bring creeessaaa with u anaaak." so i was yeah siiiiiissssss. so yea i "went clubbing with my sister"...and...

- got picked up by bj n keith (sorry u guys had to wait forever)
- went to bel's and finally convinced her to go to the observatory with us
- got there...it was beautiful
- had to drop bel home or else she'd get her ass kicked
- keith went with shar n maureeeen to get ice cream for bel
- me n bj headed to to santa monica and had a walk to remember...and yes i had with me protection dont worry. lol. protection from the bums walkin around. (protection = a bottle of sparkling water woohoo.)
- left and then got some fries from jack and then headed to bel's
- saw bel, shar, maureen, trina, and keith after the longest time woohoo
- chilled there till my sister called...which was at 12 sumtin..i forgot
- got in front of my house and my sister wasnt there still..so we had to wait..so we chilled till past 1...bj fel asleep and keith had to pee. gudjob.
- finally sister came and woohoo we went in and had funtimes

so yeah basically i couldnt believe i was out friday nite. thanx to the coolest sister ever woohoo.

i had major funtimes. the night made up for the sadness i felt that day....like big time. i was luving every minute of it.

It's my turn...

DArkB L u esmOKE: Oh well !
imatpazwithdish: sux to be u
DArkB L u esmOKE: What sucks to be me ?
DArkB L u esmOKE: Whatever it is must be pretty damn desperate
imatpazwithdish: huh?
DArkB L u esmOKE: There was no subject to your predicate in the sentence "sux to be u"
DArkB L u esmOKE: So I assumed it was "it"
DArkB L u esmOKE: And I asked, "What sucks to be me ?"
imatpazwithdish: wut the heeznuts
DArkB L u esmOKE: Ha, who can't think philosphically and deeply now ?
imatpazwithdish: thats not philosophically
DArkB L u esmOKE: But it's pretty "deep"
imatpazwithdish: ohmahgod
imatpazwithdish: the subject was u
imatpazwithdish: not it
DArkB L u esmOKE: "U sux to be u ?"
imatpazwithdish: "u" must be "pretty darn desperate"
DArkB L u esmOKE: No I was talking about YOUR sentence "sux to be u"
imatpazwithdish: um me too
imatpazwithdish: "it sux to be you"? is that wut ur saying
imatpazwithdish: it isnt a subject
DArkB L u esmOKE: Yeah, and I'm asking "what sux ?"
imatpazwithdish: YOU
DArkB L u esmOKE: No !
imatpazwithdish: yes
DArkB L u esmOKE: "I can't sux to be me !"
DArkB L u esmOKE: OMG
imatpazwithdish: yeah coz its, "you suck like a duck"
DArkB L u esmOKE: Aye !
imatpazwithdish: yeah das rite
DArkB L u esmOKE: Of course I do

Frustrating times with mom and sister at the beverly center parking lot today…

Sister (driver): Ooohh, finally a parking space.
Mom: No, anak you cannot fit dere its too little por ur car.
Me: No, go ahead you can fit.
Mom: Aye nako no. We’ll find another one don worry anak.

Driving around for 10 minutes.
Mom: Uy rite dere (pointing to a spot using her lips).
Sister: That’s still too little!
Me: Just park demnit!

sister tries to park

Sister: I am not gona fit in here!
Me: Do u want me to park it or wut?!?
Mom: Sige, I’ll park it.

Mom and sis trade places

Mom: Naku, it is too little.
Sister: No, mom just go move it to the left coz theres a lot of space there.
Mom: I know bat da car beside us will still heb a hard time coming out!

mom tries fixing the car. Back n forth…back n forth…back n forth.
Me: Mom just leave it. Ur fine. Okai lets gooooooo.
Mom: Aye no no. We’ll find another one nalang. This is nat big. Dere’s a lot more spaces dere.

Mom backs up…car behind honks coz he thought we were gona go park. She drives like 1mph in the friggin parkin lot coz she wants to make sure she doesn’t miss a free spot, while a long line of cars follow behind.
Mom: Oh ayon! See deres a space here.
Sister: Umm can u fit there?
Me: Yes, demnit we can fit!
Mom: Okaaaaaai lets goooooo.


And this is prolly why my dad didn’t wana come with us.

Real random thoughts….

- three weeks left before I leave this house
- maureeeeeen should try to have funtimes at her house for once
- two more weeks of losery cress days
- I breakout wen I sleep late
- My sister is the best
- White music is great
- I miss Sue…Sue should party hard
- I have my addictive snake moments
- Malls shouldn’t close early on weekends
- Maria should have more fun 5 hour convos
- Scrap books are fun to make
- I like the britney cd (yikes)
- I love len for tagging my board 3 times in a row
- I can live in Michaels or Barnes and Nobles
- Christine needs to tell me wuts goin on w/ her
- People should try goin to other places and not crowd in venice beach
- Chelle should sleep early for once
- I love green tea
- Karaoke with cousins is always fun
- Bel should tell me wutsup with her =)
- Im broke
- I don’t know wuts happening with Shar n Mari
- I wonder when sclub will be ONE foreal
- I cant live without ac
- Sanrio is the best place to buy cute useless crap
- Bj n Keith have too much fun together
- I luv my parents despite the shit they give me
- Im lucky to be alive
- This three day weekend sux
- Cuban food seems too garlicky for me
- Passions is gay
- I need to sleep now

Enough random thoughts for today. More to come later.

okai u know wen someone punched u rilllllllly hard on each arm...and then u cant rilly lift ur arm up becoz u feel like its gona fall rite off wen u do...thats how getting 4 shots feels like and its not that fun.

I’m luvin summer rite now =)…



August 22, 2002 Thursday

- bummed around all day

- sue visited me just in case I don’t see her b4 she leaves



August 23, 2002 Friday

- keith picked me up with bj n bel then we picked up chelle to go to sue’s house

- got there..chilled…cried.. ….said our goodbyes (or cya laters)… cried again…. and left =(

- I was gona write sumthin for u sue…but I decided not to coz itll jus make u sadder and I don’t want that to happen

- Chilled at keith’s…went to tommy’s...then went home



August 24, 2002 Saturday

- family party at whittier…happy birthday Jessie!

- Supposed to go to the getty but dint happen

- Went to church instead

- Then to chowking

- Then watched serving sara



August 25, 2002 Sunday

- DID NOTHING

- The grove

- Trader joe’s (saw Topanga)

- Ralphs



August 26, 2002 Monday

- picked up Camille at immac

- ate at in n out

- went to get boba in upper house

- went home and was seriously bored boo



August 27, 2002 Tuesday

- went to Venice beach with bj early in the morning….funfun beach...lots of stuff to do there

- then went to the dmv to take my written…man I finally got it woohoo

- went to Loyola coz bj thought he could sell his books…no one was there so we just left n went to kfc

- chilled at home

- sister saved us and took us to the getty and then dinner at c&o…saw Gregory Hines (some important person)

- got home toooo tired



August 28, 2002 Wednesday

- had a physical at Kaiser

- had to get 4 shots à hepa b, tetanus, mmr, meningitis shots

- jus chilled with bj

- my right arm is killing me…like someone beat me up foreal =(


August 29, 2002 Thursday

- went to cousin's house early in the morning

- funtimes doin lil cousins project

- then jus chilled

- watched save the last dance with them once again


okai so I have less than a month more before school starts…sux to be me…i duno if im supposed to be happy that ima be outta here soon. but wutever. im jus gona chill and deal with it. newayssss... soooooo.....wut else is new....hmmm....iono....i saw two stars this week. topanga and gregory hines...haha okai...umm...i havent blogged in awhile...coz iono....theres nuttin to write about? well okai...laterrrzzz

violent tendencies of keith...

KFDPiNoY: fine, u can beat him up
KFDPiNoY: i'll just watch
buthafly: wahaah
buthafly: and laugh
KFDPiNoY: yeah
buthafly: oh man
buthafly: ur mean
KFDPiNoY: fine
KFDPiNoY: me and bj we'll both gang up on u and beat u up
KFDPiNoY: happy?
buthafly: uuuhm
KFDPiNoY: :-D
buthafly: waaaaaaaaah

yay i had a fun weekend (well friday and saturday..not sunday)! here's wut happened in great detail...


FRIDAY, AUGUST 16, 2002
- friday morning went to 99cents store, albertson's, picked up chelle, house of pies
- went straight to griffith park to see if immac people were there already but no one was there
- picked up bel
- went back to the park to the waterfest
- met bj's godsis cheryl and her people
- keith, rj, and aprille came
- got somewhat wet but not as much as some people woohoo
- sue, shar, and maria finally came (almost complete...one is missing as usual)
- decided to go to the immac picnic...saw kat, maryrose, nikki, francine, portia, sylvana, len, joanna
- time to pick up mari...but me, bel, and shar decided to chill at the waterfest
- took bel home coz she had swimming
- bj me n shar go back to the waterfest
- keith came back…then sue chelle maria and mari
- the four left again…then me bj keith n shar decided to go to the immac picnic again
- everyone was leaving…so we decided to go to bj’s house
- chilled for a while…keith n shar went to pack n picked up bel while we watched rudy for 20minutes
- headed to sue’s..fun fun dinner…I luv it at sue’s
- chilled…watched big brother..and two can play that game..keith n bj left…and girls chilled…woohoo

SATURDAY, AUGUST 17, 2002
- fun talk….we ate like 10 times….watched a walk to remember (well me n maria did)..then had funtalk with sue n maria till like 6am…and then I was gone
- woke up at 10sumtin…shower…maria left first awww mariaaaa…then shar n bel…then mari, chelle, sue n me went to see blue crush (saw elisa, gina n connie at islands first).
- Dropped mari then chelle home
- Got home with sue….chilled for a bit…then picked up chelle then went to church
- First saw bj..then keith…then bel n trina…then my family..then bel’s mom…wow we were one big happy family haahaa
- Decided to go to the grove with everyone and then soup plantation…thanx to mom n dad woohoo
- Brought everyone home except for sue..funtimes

SUNDAY, AUGUST 18, 2002
- got yelled at
- lunch at lola’s..i luv my cousins…and I luv karaoke
- got home n jus chilled….*sigh*
- started my precious moments cross stitch and other fun projects to get rid of boredom
- sad n happy day

MONDAY, AUGUST 19, 2002
- took the bus to lacc early in the mornin to get a fee waiver application
- dint realize it was raining a lil…so I walked in the ugly ass weather
- bj n camille show up at my door and kidnapped me
- went to lunch with bj’s family at max’s…funtimes al the timeeee
- got the talk from tita ruth that made me think…how I wish she was my mom
- finished watching rudy awww
- still tryin to be a gud daughter
- someone finally got a friggin celfone waha..bel its jus u now

TUESDAY, AUGUST 20, 2002
- had to sell books in immac
- woohoo got some money…even tho theyre checks…but I still have my precal book…anyone who needs a precal book pleeaaasseeeee tell meeeeee
- saw a lot of people once again…aww I miss everyone
- me sue bel trina chelle bj n keith went to starbucks…me n sue went to ralphs to get me some cough drops…. and then we all headed to my house (except for chelle n sue who went to chelle’s house)
- we chilled..keith left for a bit…watched save the last dance…keith came back…then chelle, shar, sue, and mitch came…then they watched AHX…fun violent movie
- funtimesss all the tiiiiimmmmeeeeeeeee
- they all ate my cookie crisps..so im sad now
- my throat n head hurt like a mother…I swear to god I was getting sick
- everyone had to leave..except for bj…but he left a lil later …so then I rilly started to feel rilly sick
- did my chores…while sneezing away…tried to sleep at like 9..dint work…I felt soooo tired but I couldn’t sleep..my throat was killing me..i wanted to cry…but I dint
- I was basically in bed…awake…till like 12..then I fell asleep…but thoat n head still hurting

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 21, 2002
- woke up later than usual with a gay ass voice…I sounded like a man
- went online….decided to have lunch with sue at islands for the last time =(…my head was still killing me but it was ayt….one last lunch out with sue was worth it
- funtimes at islands..finally had my kona pie…then we visited mari so sue could say bye
- went home…took a nice long nap…that was nice
- woke up with a headache…sux to be me…and now im online

that was my week so far…summer school’s finally over thank god. One more month before college…sadness…actually a part of me wants to leave…and a part of me doesn’t…for many reasons….iono its weird. Im not feelin too good rite now. And its time to watch friends (rerun) neways so blog ya later.

wtf...im here at lacc rite now...jus finished taking my test....and i jus paid friggin $42 for my pysch class....i was expecting it to be like 9 bucks or sumtin like that..geezus guess who's broke once again

yay i updated my links woohoo!

okai i think my brain is working now...lets start with this random thought that just popped in my head while talking to sue today (after one whole day of not hearing from her at all maaan)...

the whole "summer is ending perty soon" bothers me. some people just wana get summer over with, but im not one of those. i guess im not ready to let it all go just yet. summer's been great despite the fact i get the sermon at least once a week. but i dunno. i jus dont like major changes, and thats wuts gradually been happening these past few weeks, and thats wuts gona be happening in the coming weeks. perty soon, people are gona be leaving for college one by one, and i dont know exactly how im gona take that. the fact that i mite not see these people ever again scares me. its so easy for us to say, "lets k.i.t." but i know for a fact that its not that easy to do. wut happens wen we all go our separate ways? who knows.

neways...update of wutsup these past few days...
- been studying for psych tests gggrrr
- hitting vans and buying knives with bj...gudjob dude
- not talkin to sue for one whole day...dayum
- basically bein a gud girl for mommie dear

neways...random thoughts from my psychology class...
- gayness can be genetic
- it takes longer for women to get orgasms, so they fake em all the time (funtimes all the time waahaa)
- does anyone remember Maslow's hierarchy of needs from experiencing god? well i just wanted to point out that i think most of the people i know is on the level of needing "love and belonging" (relationships, friendships, family, support, etc.)
- freud is a freak. he thinks everythin is about sex and aggression.
- more random psych stuff will be posted later

man i havent been goin online that much lately. i just got tired of bein shouted at thats why. so even if i dont see u online as much, just wanted to let u know im still alive and im prolly missing u. blog again later.

okai i think my brain is working now...lets start with this random thought that just popped in my head while talking to sue today (after one whole day of not hearing from her at all maaan)...

the whole "summer is ending perty soon" bothers me. some people just wana get summer over with, but im not one of those. i guess im not ready to let it all go just yet. summer's been great despite the fact i get the sermon at least once a week. but i dunno. i jus dont like major changes, and thats wuts gradually been happening these past few weeks, and thats wuts gona be happening in the coming weeks. perty soon, people are gona be leaving for college one by one, and i dont know exactly how im gona take that. the fact that i mite not see these people ever again scares me. its so easy for us to say, "lets k.i.t." but i know for a fact that its not that easy to do. wut happens wen we all go our separate ways? who knows.

neways...update of wutsup these past few days...
- been studying for psych tests gggrrr
- hitting vans and buying knives with bj...gudjob dude
- not talkin to sue for one whole day...dayum
- basically bein a gud girl for mommie dear

neways...random thoughts from my psychology class...
- gayness can be genetic
- it takes longer for women to get orgasms, so they fake em all the time (funtimes all the time waahaa)
- does anyone remember Maslow's hierarchy of needs from experiencing god? well i just wanted to point out that i think most of the people i know is on the level of needing "love and belonging" (relationships, friendships, family, support, etc.)
- freud is a freak. he thinks everythin is about sex and aggression.
- more random psych stuff will be posted later

man i havent been goin online that much lately. i just got tired of bein shouted at thats why. so even if i dont see u online as much, just wanted to let u know im still alive and im prolly missing u. blog again later.

time to bloooooooog once again....

august 2, friday
- did all my chores and chilled with sue at home
- hoping id be able to go to maria's but got the sermon instead

august 3, saturday
- went to santa barbara with sister, her friends marge and floyd, and bj
- i so wanted to go to maria's but i couldnt go out unless i was with sister

august 4, sunday
- went to church with sister, and saw bel, keith and bj there too
- went home, chilled for awhile, then went to the grove with sister and her friend jeff
- met up with bel, trina, keith, and bj there
- chilled, went to beverly connection, chilled

august 5 and 6, monday and tuesday
- im a bum, tryin to be productive and bitter haha oh well

so that's wuts happening. i basically cant go out coz they said i do that too much already. wtf. iono. sucks to be me. oh well. um wut else. ill blog again later wen my brain's awake.

man today was sadtimes...i spoiled the beach outing for bel, keith, and bj. sorry u guys. okai here's wut happened...

me n bj went to keith's house just coz...then they were all "lets go to the beach"...so i was all..orite...so keith was all preparing and stuff...and we stopped by bj's house for towels n stuff...and then we decided to kidnap bel (sowee bel i forgot to say it was a beach outing haha)...so yeah...everything was goin fine...it was trafficy but its alll gud. so after an hour's drive my mom calls me and was all pissed coz i dint tell her i was goin somewhere. so she decides to ruin my fun and told me to get my ass home. fucker. big trouble woohoo. so i had to go home even though we were like more than halfway to the beach after all that traffic n shit. im soweeee u guys i felt rilly bad. i owe u guys a beach trip. so we decided to pass by in n out first...comfort food. funtimes. while my mother called me 5 times in a row...and left 13 messages in the friggin answering machine at home. fucker. that was scary. i jus dont understand why she was all bein paranoid and shit. i mean wut can possibly happen to me on a weekday afternoon. fuck. so they chilled at my house for a while. then i had to kick them out coz mom will be home soon. she got home and wasnt talkin to me at all. silent treatment woohoo. i thought that was kinda scary...but perty cool. for once she has nothing to say to me. so i took a nap...woke up and she's still not talking...wutever. and then dinnertime she was all normal and shit. her usual happy self. i was all....hhmmm sumtin's wrong here. so later on she talks to me coz she asked me to type up sumtin for her. she was all bein nice n stuff...i was all...hmm okai now this is rilly wrong. she dint mention a single thing about wut i did. my sister was all, "maybe she felt guilty." waha well yeah. wutever. i duno if that means she'll let me go on saturday. we'll see. but if i cant, i suck. but its all gud coz im used to it. ive been dealing with this ish since forever. i think i can handle it for couple more months.

This week started out perfectly, just becoz I got to chill with my girls yesterday. Okai lets have a recap so that its easier…

- got up at 7:30..took a shower
- started cooking at 8am for the meeting haha
- bj came and gave me fun stuff from his trip
- we go to class and he sat in woohoo
- we go back to my house and fought with sue about parking
- 6 of us chilled for awhile, ate, saw a flip movie
- bj n me go pick up mari at togo’s
- so we finally started the sharing --> funtimes. I luv my girls.
- Left to eat at islands
- Got home and dint get in trouble woohoo

Even though maria was present through speaker fone for a while, we still missed her. But all in all, the kickback was fun. Its just nice to catch up with wuts happening with everyone else yah know. I wish all of us girls the best of luck in our lil “journeys” in life. heeheeee

So today was fun too. Bj picked me up after school and we jus chilled at home.

Basically, ive been a happy girl these past few weeks. I mean, life hasn’t been all perfect or nething like that. But its been good. I guess those of you who know wutsup with me might be thinking, “of course she’s happy…why would she not be.” Well yah that’s true. Im having fun this summer. That’s wut summer’s supposed to be neway. I jus wana have some funtimes before we all go off to college, out into the real world. I just wana make some fun memories to remember yah know. That’s all I want. But neways, I just wish everyone who’s been goin thru a lot of ish can find a way to have funtimes this summer. I know its hard to be optimistic sometimes. Well all the time actually. I find it hard to do it myself. But I guess its jus a matter of attitude. As I always say, if u wana have funtimes, then ull find a way to have funtimes. That’s all for now.

This week has been an eeeh one. Ive been bumming around, goin to summer school, and then sleeping the whole day. That was nice. Hahaha. But yeah, I got time to jus chill and do nothing and think of nothing. That was cool. Man I duno wut else to say. Ooh except today was funtimes for me. I got spoiled by my mommy todaaaay woohoo. I got me some clothes of course…and guess wut else?!? A fone! Woohoo finally! Yeaah that was the highlight of the day.

Oh and I ran into two of my immac girls today too. Alisha and Christine woohoo. Aaww I miss my girls. It was nice running into people I havent seen o talked to in awhile. And even though I havent seen maureen in a while, its nice to know that’s she’s never bored at SLO waahhahaha funtimes all the time buddy.

To bel and shar….aww u guys I thought my dad was gona stop to let u guys ride but then I guess not. Lol I felt bad. Soweeeee.

Welcum back suuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeee and bj!

I wana change my template gggrr. But itll take me awhile to fix it. Im too layzee. Eh wutever.

since sue, bel, and maria made me feel oh-so-special, i was inspired to do the same thing. so to my girls, i luv u all, and i dont know where the hell i would be without ur constant support and trust in me. u guys are my foundation, the “table” of all the appetizers, maindishes, and desserts that i would have. without you, all the funtimes in my life would not exist. thank you...and i luv u...mwah!

(in alphabetical order lol)...

bel - aaaaww beeeeeeeeeeel. wut can i say, but from funtimes in algebra, to goodtimes at the mall wahahaha, to the fun rides that ur mom always gave me just so id have a life haha, thank u soooo much. thanx for not freakin out about u know...uve been so supportive...i needed that...thanx bel i luv u!

chelle - omigod chelle u dont know how much this whole rommie thing is affecting me. chelle u dont understand! i dont wana lose u..u freak on a big stick. u have to promise me we’ll make things work damn u. but neways, i know i dont get to talk to u on a regular basis nemore...coz ud rather be with other people than us...but its okai...hahah naw im kidding. but yeah..... uve been there to listen to my stupid nonsense, and support me 100% of the time. thank u so much ur the best. i know u always blog about the sadness inside of u. but i jus hope u see the funtimes that i know is somewhere in there. smile chelle. u r beautiful. i luv u.

mari - mari! dude im serious...where the hell are u...uve been M.I.A. (missing in action) since...see i dont even know! man o man u still alive dude? newayssss....mari....i jus wana thank you for ur dreams.. hahahaha. if it werent for them, i dont know where i would be rite now lol. u were one of my best supporters, always reminding me about “wutever floats my boat”. well, im sailing away! wahahaaha i luv u mari.

maria - mariaaaaaa omigod my laffin partner. oh maaan. u bring the sunshine in my life. i know i said u were the saddest of the combo, bread, and salad, but i told u exactly why. omigod maria ur hot orite? and if they cant see that, well then sux to be them. maybe we can say that god has sumthin majorly fun for u in the future. everything happens for a reason. rite mi amiga? also, thank you so much for the happy thoughts u sent my way the last time we talked on the fone. heehee i luv u maria!

shar - omigod seastar wutupwutup? do u remmber junior retreat? horseshoe? yeah we rock. if it werent for that experience, i duno if u and i would have funtimes at all. man o man shar. not only were u my retreat buddy, but also the coolest physics cheatmate. haha. man o man im so glad u stayed till the end. or else i wouldve gona crayzee. and oh yes....we do need to have our talk. i luv u shar.

sue - sssssuuuueeeeee. dayum sue. one more month. suuuee why cant u jus stay here??!?!? that just shows how much u care about us boohoo. naw im playin. heehee. but seriously sue. uve been there, every minute, even every second of my day, that i wouldnt know wut it would be like wen u leave. u have given me so much, (u know wut they all are....im not gona mention them...it ranges from material things to nonmaterial things haha) and words cannot express the gratitude that i feel. i dont know where i would be without u. i luv u sue.

and for everyone else (you know who u guys are..the ones readin this rite now =)), who may have also touched my life in one way or another, i luv u.

yesterday was funtimes once again of course.
- summer school: learned that the teacher does see every move u make
- bj n sue picked me up and then went to keith's house...keith n bel came
- went to marketplace...panda...jewel city...woohoo yay for me n keith the best players (special awards: sue for almost making a hole on the floor every single time, bel for her graceful bowling moves, bj for 10 fouls in a row waha naw im playin)
- ray, aprille, and cool fartnah came yaaay i miss the couuuurrtt
- after two games we chilled at my house...funtimes...all the time
- they all left and had funtimes at coffee bean without me...yeah i c how it is
- and yes...interesting convos with sue n chelle who else...maan u guys r the bomb waha

todaaay....
i guess ima be stuck at home today. im not part of the funtimes at maria's coz id have to be home by 5..and that wouldnt happen. so yah. sleepy time for me today woohoo.

yaay fun filled week yet again. i guess next week will be an eeh week for me coz sue n bj r both not gona be here sadness. man why is everyone leavin. to mitch, bj, n sue, and whoever else is goin somewhere...have fuuuuuuuuuuun!

i have some random thoughts in my head rite now but i still have to organize it. haha so check again later yay.

BLOGTIME!

monday, july 15
first day of school at lacc. i thought i was gona end up taking poli sci....but i ended up liking psych much better. funtimes all the time. hmmm i forgot wut else i did. i think i slept the whole day. yeah i forgot. next day...


tuesday, july 16
second day of summer school. eh. great. but after school was funtimes. outing with sue, shar, chelle, keith, bj, joe, john, and jonn woohoo
- bj picked me up from school
- got lost goin to sue’s house
- got there...we were late yes we’re sorry
- followed keith to hermosa
- funtimes all the time at the beach
- left and changed at sue’s
- ate at andre’s...italian and chilled there for a while
- went to the grove to watch the fountain
check out sue’s blog for more details.. I HAD MAJOR FUNTIMES. i got in trouble wen i got home, but wutever...it was worth it.


wednesday, july 17 (today)
third day of summer school. still eh. but its also cool. perty interesting funtimes with interesting people in class.. major points for keith for giving me a ride yay. after school i had fun bonding times with bj. went to in n out...dairy queen...haha...then chilled at my house n watched american history x...fun movie haha. thanx dude for a fun day.


time for messages to my girls...

bel - welcum back beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel
mari - where the hell r u man
shar - man wen u gona tell me ur story?
maria - u still got it. u still make me laff. thanx mi amigaaaaa
chelle - sooo...howwwss it goooeeenn????...holy mother i have a story for u..oh yah thank u so much for
bein one of my trusted advisers i luv u chelle.
sue - damn u bitch i luv u haha. i guess all i can say is..where would i be without you.. i owe it all to u. thanx so much i luv u sue.

random thoughts...
- things dont turn out the way u expect them to be
- it’ll come when u least expect it
- i just wana live my life as if there’s no tomorrow

well all i can say is i luv summer. it’s the best one so far. man. iono. im speechless. geezus. um...yah...im happy. there. that says it all.

GOT BACK FROM UCI ORIENTATION WOOHOO!

July 11, Thursday
- got only 2 hours of sleep coz I jus luv my chatroom buddies sue, maria, chelle, keith, and bj haahaa
- woke up at 5am, left at 6 with chelle n my dad, got to uci, took my precalc test, saw jason n patrick
- chelle’s ate tricia and her bf mike took us to their place to chill, chelle’s ate berly took us to in n out
- me n chelle took id pics, chilled, saw mad and sidney, then checked in our dorms yaaay
- chelle n I were in different dorms (which was perty gud rite chelle? U have to admit it was better that we were separated) GO OTERO! GO NINTERO haha
- Met a lot of interesting people, and cute anteaters. Maaan I luv my staff people
- My roomie Stephanie was cool, she was 20 but she looked like she was 12.
- Had interesting convos with these cool people who im so thankful I met. Jeanette and Colleen were my girls. Theyre perty cool people.
- Me n chelle wandered late that night looking for a computer with aim. Haha jk. But man was I was dying of aim deprivation I swear.

July 12, Friday
- breakfast with fun people, then academic counseling (that was torture), picnic at the park (with fun games of course)
- academic counseling once again. Met a new friend who is undecided too but wants to major in ics too. Yay we mite have same classes together.
- Basically chilled with cool people till the talent show
- Talent show: anteaters are awesome. Theyre a bunch of talented and funny people who know how to entertain yayay.
- Dance at the plaza woohoo funtimes with my dorm people and of course freakydeaky chelle.

July 13, Saturday
- Dint rilly sleep coz we played hella fun games: the animal game, stick game haahaa, mafia, cross dressing game, sexual position game. Sounds like funtimes haa
- We were basically waiting till sunrise so we all went up the parking lot and chilled aww that waas fun.
- Thought I could take a one hour nap so I could eat breakfast, but noooo I overslept and missed breakfast. Damn.
- Closing. Went back to dorms and had an awesome experience. It was almost like mini kairos I swear. The touch game did touch my heart. Ill never forget that game.
- OOOOOOOOOTERO!
- Yay for the coolest staffers – man I forgot some of their names. Haha but lets try this: Hian, Shelby, Katie, R, Beat, Josh, Nick, and the sexiest ones, my group leaders Thao and Rachel. YAY! Theyre the nicest and the best leaders one could have. They made me feel at home, and that I was truly part of the group. Theyre one awesome group of people I luv them all.
- Checkout time. GOODBYE EVERYONE! DON’T FORGET THE SPOP REUNION!

- sue n shar picked me n chelle up. Aww I missed my girls. Ate at islands
- the ride home was fun for me n chelle coz we catched up on our sleep. Sue n shar we need those pictures that u said u took damn u. haha.
- Man o man I miss laffin w/ maria. Mariaaa u know wuts funner? Telllin ur story live.
- Dropped of shar then chelle. Then my house. Then me n sue went to the mall and then marketplace to chill n eat.
- Chelle called tellin us to come over n bring her food. Sorry no panda for u chelle, it was all sue’s fault.
- Bj n keith were there too so we had funtimes in our almost complete live chatroom (maria was the only one missing)
- Keith has the coolest car n radio wahaa wutupwutupwutup
- Got home, dint get in trouble woohoo (yeah coz that’s how much my family misssed me)

July 14, Sunday
- had to go to church t 9am at omgc. Maaan I need sleeeep I swear.
- Saw bj, but no keith. Tsk tsk major negative points for him, but major points for bj coz we chilled the whole day with my sister. Went to santa monica beach, (kinkyness all over damn) ate at mr. Noodle at westwood (thanx sister!), and diddy riese (yes I wasted my ice cream sandwich im sorry), and then went to rodeo to try and avoid getting food coma (and some more kinkyness of course).
- Went back to omgc to drop off bj coz he left his car there
- Got home, took a nice nap, and then fun bonding times with mi familia si.


Random thoughts:
The whole orientation experience was great. I rilly did not wana go at first. I got there with the feeling of “not wanting to be there”. I was scared, felt sad, and wanted to go home. But then immediately that first night of orientation, I met the coolest people. We were all jus chillen and we all started getting to know each other. That was cool. So the second day I woke up and felt good. I decided that its up to me if I want to make this orientation fun for me or not. I realized that if I want to make the best out of that experience, I should make an effort to make it as awesome as I want it to be. I woke up with a positive attitude, and jus seized the day. So the next couple of days was awesome. Ill admit, it did feel like I was there for one whole week. But I had fun. On the third day, I guess I was excited to go home. But it was jus so weird how I felt like I was leaving that place for good, wen rilly, im gona be back there in two months. The last activity just amazed me. I havent felt that much loved in a while. It was amazing.

The nice lunch with sue, shar, and chelle was nice. Its nice to see familiar faces once again. Sue n shar, u guys will have funtimes at orientation too. Don’t worry about it. U will if u want to. Trust me.

I realized that college is a whole new different world. It’s a whole new different experience, far away from high school and far away from home. I hate changes. Im bad at dealing with changes, or anything that has to do with it. I don’t like starting from scratch. Ive gone thru it before, and im scared that my first year in collge would be hell. But then, I also realized that if I don’t, at least, make an effort to just give it a try, then I rilly will be experiencing hell. Its up to me if I want college to be fun or not. I will if I want it to be. So I decided, that I will make it funtimes all the time. Yes I will haha.

It’s nice to be back home. I luv seeing familiar faces once again, and jus kickin it with funfunfun people. Especially today. That was funtimes all the time.

yes yes yes i know i havent been bloggin that much. its jus coz i rilly have nothing to blog about...nothing that would interest you neways...waha ...but neways....im gona blog just for the hell of it...and so that u would have sumthin to do. OOOHHH and i wrote some deep shiet in the end end so yah enjoy haha.

july 3, wednesday
i forgot wut happened

july 4, thursday
happy 4th of july! had a lil party thing at my grandma’s house. fun bonding times with cousins. man ima miss jus kickin it and doing wutever with them wen i leave. so yeah, after that went to old town and got some stuff at pacsun. man their pacsun over there is perty gud. so yeah went to target after, and then ate at in n out. fun bonding times with family grreeaaaat.

july 5, friday
kat’s debut. sue picked me up, then maria, then bel and then we went to coffee bean and played the game haha. that was fun. so we get to the hotel and i see everyone once again. aww everyone was so perty. the debut was beautiful, jus like chelle’s. i had fun....im perty sure everyone did. of course they all did. i know maria n mari did. wahahaa. yaay. i was jus kinda sad after wen i realized that that mite be the last time ima be seeing these people. maaan i swear we all have to go out again soon.

july 6, saturday
lil party thing at tita’s house. yaay food. funtimes with family and cousins again as usual. then two lil cousins, sister, and me went to go see mr. deeds at the marketplace yaaaay. fun bonding times at taco bell haha.

july 7, sunday
went to church at 9. keith wasnt there so negative points for him hahaaa. then we all went to eat at sushi mac at friggin sherman oaks geesh. then i remembered i had this gift that i wanted to return from myaunt. haha. she got it at mervyn’s so i had to actually look for sumthin i like in that store. man was that a challenge. so my mom saved my life by buying some kitchen thing so that she could use the gift money, and she just paid me my cash. then i was happy! so then after that me n sister decided to watch the yaya sisterhood. we went to burbank, watched, and ate at bj’s (who have cheater waiters btw gggrrrrrrr).

july 8, monday
fun talk with mommie. haha man i luv my mother.

july 9, tuesday
ate at thai bbq with sue and then went to marketplace to get coldstones. chilled at my house and of course had an interesting talk. man sue, wen do ever not have an interesting talk?


okai time to be deep....

have u ever heard someone say that life is just like a book, composed of chapters that never seem to end. each chapter has a new adventure, a certain climax that will never be forgoten. the first few chapters of one’s life may start out in high spirits, and end in a resentment. or maybe it could start with bitterness, and end with true bliss. each chapter has its ups and downs, but wut makes up the whole is the experience. each chapter gives one the opportunity to better understand life. it doesnt matter if it hurts. it doesnt matter if it brings you tears. it doesnt matter if it breaks your heart. what matters is that it strengthens. it tests your mind, it tests your heart, it tests your faith. living life to the fullest means living each chapter, page by page, without the fear of stumbling or losing sight of one’s way. each chapter teaches. it does not bring one down to the point of defeat. it does not mean to ruin or cause hatred. each chapter is a challenge that one has to go through in order to move on to the next. once a chapter has ended, as one wanted it to end or not, it is time to turn the page and start a new one. the question is, when can one say that it truly is over? only time can tell. maybe if one looks hard enough, one can find a way to move on and start that new chapter in life. maybe i already did.

yay blogtime. let’s start with all the funtimes last week...

june 26, wednesday, chelle’s birthday was a very interesting day, not only for me but for a lot of people. i guess i can say things are looking better for most of us, but not for some. im one of the people who, i guess, have fixed things with certain people. i should be happy. but can u blame me if i still wasnt? wutever. im gona be okay.

june 27, thursday, practice at the hotel. but first had to watch jonn at cool fartnah’s and melissa’s coz he wanted an audience. yeah chelle found out about it neways but wutever! we did our best to keep it from her till the debut itself. well except for sue who just had to write it in her blog geesh. man i couldnt believe that was the real last practice. sadness. went to celebrate tita wela’s bday after, and yeah we did have funtimes celebrating with coffee bean and yeah. haha gud stuff. except wen my mother called and scared the shit out of me, resulting in a lie that just made everything worse haha oh well sux to be me.

june 28, friday, day of the debut. woke up early to do my chores, packed, and of course went online to see who had the heart to give me a ride to chelle’s. it was a long story, but bj took me, after passing by this office he works at. um yah thanx sue, u truly add color to my everyday life ggeesssh. got to chelle’s, got hair and makeup done, thanx nikki and melissa! okai lets make things easier and make bullet points...
- thankful for mcdonalds coz i was hella hungry
- got ready by putting on our tops, and sweating like u dont know
- rode with kat to the hotel, nervous as hell
- got there, got ready in the room, took pics, practiced our thang, saw lots of people, got more nervous
- grand entrance(CHELLE U WERE BEAUTIFUL) dinner, program GOOD JOB CZAREINE, KAT, & MELISSA and finally candles came, can never be more nervous
- after that i was fine, GOOD JOB SUE AND JONN!, cotillion performance, aawww the time finally came
- dance, dance, dance - too tired
so yeah, that was basically the whole night, funtimes at the after party of course =).

june 29, saturday, after the debut. well the after party wasn’t over. everyone got some sleep at some point. i think me n chelle were the last ones to knock out. at 5? man it’s fun watching people sleep i swear to god. yeah we were planning on watching the sunrise. our 5 minute nap became a 2 hour nap. so i got up at about 7 sumthin, got ready to go home coz i dint wana get in trouble. they were gona go to denny’s and keith’s house but i couldnt. sadness. bj took me home, took my 7 hour “nap” and got the semi-silent treatment from my mother. grrr.

man ima miss the whole court i swear. ive spent almost every single weekend since january with these people, and i dont know wut my weekends would be like anymore without practices. no more funtimes at kat’s or chelle’s, no more reason for me to go out on saturdays, no more goofin around (man i cant believe ima say this but ima miss credit cards hahahaa naww maybe not). to the whole court, especially to the coolest fartnah one could have, i will miss all of u! dude we better have more debut outings i swear.

june 30, sunday, family day. went to church, costco, trader joe’s, lola’s house, hospital to visit tito, home, vons, ralphs, home. yes quality time with family. grrreaat. mom r u happy now. got THE sermon that i thought she forgot to give me. haha. it wasnt as bad as i thought. it’s the usual. but yeah. im sowee if i let my parents down. i still am the good daughter that theyve always had. i jus need to be reminded everytime.

july 1, monday, cress and sue are back. sue picked me up to go to islands. it was closed still so we bugged mari. went back to see if islands was open yay it was. funtimes watching gay people, and dissing boys of course. but we did some praising boys too so that was fun. went back to the mall, couldnt find anything nice, went back to kidnap mari, and went to coldstones. chilled and had funtimes with mari n sue. dont worry mari i feel yah. i know wut ur goin thru coz im goin thru the same exact thing. LOL JK. and sue, maaaan i duno. im dumb. there. haha. jk. thanx sue.


july 2, today, im a bum. woke up at 1230. damn im unproductive. i need to do stuff now. ggrrr. orite ill blog again if sumthin interesting happens. i highly doubt that tho.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHELLLLEE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOUUU...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOUUU...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR CHEEEELLLEEEE...HAPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOUUUU! I LOVE YOU BABE!

okai earlier i said i was too lazy to fuckin cuss but now im just not. im fuckin pissed at every fuckin thing rite now its not cute. i thought i was gona keep my cool and be calm and shit but no its not workin. oh maaah god no moreee... i know it doesnt seem like id be fuckin pissed at anything, but i am. and it’s not just about one thing. its about lots of things. i guess im just pms-ing again...coz this is wut happens. but wutever.... i thought summer was supposed to be a stress-free time of my life but i guess not. and im perty sure a lot of people are feelin the same way. gggggrrrrrrrrr i dont need anymore crap to do. cant people just understand that?!?! NO THEY CANT!

THIS WAS THE BLOG I STARTED LAST WEEK....
these past two weeks has been an interesting one for me. i guess i can say a lot has happened, both good and bad. ive been spending most of my time with the people i love, and at the same time had time to myself to think about the things that have been going on in my life rite now. i realized things are goin well...for the most part. im a happy person. yes i am. coz i said so. haha. ive been tryin to look for ways to amuse myself these days. just coz. and i guess it worked.

THIS IS THE CONTINUATION FOR THIS WEEK...
iono. i would be cussing throughout this whole blog, but im too lazy. haha. im gona try not to be all drama queen, coz thats not who i am. but wutever. ugh i dont even know wut my point is here. im jus bloggin coz i feel bleeeh. everything’s bleeeh to me rite now. i need to keep myself busy...and thats not a problem since i have stuff to finish neway. damnit wut the hell is my point. i dont know. maybe i should just stop here.

funtimes wednesday! i wasnt supposed to be there but yay i was. im not gona go to details coz im too lazy. actually check out sue’s blog coz she has all the details... all i can say is....thanx sue ur the best....ur the best muthasucka evah waaahaaa no....and chelle i luv yah mucho hun. ill never forget our talk...thanx for making me cry. in a good way.

thursday was funtimes with chang and sue...went to lacc to enroll...dropped off mitch’s glasses at his dad’s clinic...and then went to the mall...oh man i went crazy at a&f ohmahgod u dont understand. bought a skirt shirt slippers yaaaaay. no more shopping for me ever again.

friday......had a looong day with sue of course. went to her house at 7:19 (according to her)...and thought we were gona go jogging but that dint happen. chilled for a while...then went to westside pavillion —> american eagle to buy stuff. yay i bought a shirt for seven bucks great. after that rushed to the airport...got lost...and picked up my tita...stopped over sue’s house...ate fun spaghetti at andre’s...stopped by my house....rested...then went to the mall..marketplace...greeat. after that went straight to debut practice at the
hotel. did our video thing for chelle. and then after that went to in n out. very fun and interesting times for sue.

friday night..tryin to be a good daughter...but its kinda useless becoz parents are not even home. gggrrr. oh well. im tired neways. i need to get some real sleep.

saturday...went shopping with mommy yay...shopping galore at old navy and victoria’s secret....great....got home...tried to put make up on sue..ohman that was fun...went to pick up shar n bel...got to the moose lodge...
- saw people in jeans...not funnie
- freaked out coz all of us were in friggin semiformal attire
- went back to the car..changed...decided to go to the mall to get stuff and fix sue’s makeup
- got back..funtimes at jhona joanna chris and marco’s grad party yaaay. im too layzee to go into details...see someone else’s blog lol

sunday
- church
- bought dad gift
- lola’s house
- debut practice

sorry bel treena mari and sue for bein a party pooper...soooooo soweee i swear to god it wont happen again.

monday...woke up..found out dad was home...grrr...slept...fone woke me up...it was chelle...said she was gona kidnap me with “keith”...so we went down dint see keith newhere...instead i see sue...maaan o maaaan i luv my friends. went to kfc and rite aid. funtimes talkin about peeps wahaa no. thanx u guys...ur the bestest. then went to micheals and ross yaaaay. funtimes.

funnest week with sue...omigod sue i saw u sunday monday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday monday....wtf?!?! wahaha but its all gud coz sue’s cool.

this week has been fun i guess...im happy...yes i am....just coz...no praticular reason.... or am i? yeah wutever. i chose to be happy...so there...yay.

funtimes wednesday! i wasnt supposed to be there but yay i was. im not gona go to details coz im too lazy. actually check out sue’s blog coz she has all the details... all i can say is....thanx sue ur the best....ur the best muthasucka evah waaahaaa no....and chelle i luv yah mucho hun. ill never forget our talk...thanx for making me cry. in a good way.

thursday was funtimes with chang and sue...went to lacc to enroll...dropped off mitch’s glasses at his dad’s clinic...and then went to the mall...oh man i went crazy at a&f ohmahgod u dont understand. bought a skirt shirt slippers yaaaaay. no more shopping for meever again.

friday...today...had a looong day with sue of course. went to her house at 7:19 (according to her)...and thought we were gona go jogging but that dint happen. chilled for a while...then went to westside pavillion —> american eagle to buy stuff. yay i bought a shirt for seven bucks great. after that rushed to the airport...got lost...and picked up my tita...stopped over sue’s house...ate fun spaghetti at andre’s...stopped by my house....rested...then went to the mall..marketplace...greeat. after that went straight to debut practice
at the hotel. did our video thing for chelle. and then after that went to in n out. very fun and interesting times for sue.

now im home on a friday night..tryin to be a good daughter...but its kinda useless becoz parents are not even home. gggrrr. oh well. im tired neways. i need to get some real sleep.

maria’s party was fun yaaay...my face didnt show it but i had fun...the video was the best...wahaha..neways i tried to cheer myself up despite all the things that were bothering me....im not mad at anyone...im not mad at all....it jus bothered me...but right now i dont know anymore...my sister told me, “dont be upset with things that u dont have control of.” thats rite.....but neways thanx mariaaaaa...and im sorry if we took time out in your room...hope u dint get in trouble...i know ur having fun ovah there with ur hotboys yaaaay.

after the party i felt better. so much better. u know wut’s funnie? the one person who pissed me off was the one person who cheered me up. haha. muy interesante noh? life is just full of surprises.

to ray...maaaaan its all gud in the hood. im not mad tito....i swear....just dont hurt anyone aayt?

i wana thank sue for the ice cream and love and basketball...thanx suueeeee...and also for doin me the funnest favor..haha...that was fun...i jus needed to know...and u made that possible for me. now i dont have to feel all dumb and stupid. well actually i still do... but yeah thanx sueee.

to bel and mitch....aaawww u guyyysssssss...lol...thats all i can say...heeeheee....

to shar....i agree mucho with ur realizations in ur blog. also, dont u jus love ms. mcgrath and ms. pollia’s gift? i love it.

to chelle..i wana thank you for being there for me when i had to be ms. drama queen over here. thanx for not making me feel stupid...even though i really did feel like i was bein the dumbest person ever. dont ask why. i jus did. thanx chelle mwah. hope ur feeling better hun.

ive been thinking a lot about thinnnggssss in life that i do not have control over. my own feelings and emotions, and also other people’s. yes, i know you cant control these things. ive been telling that to myself over and over and over. but lately, i guess i didnt want to believe it. in the back of my mind, i was trying to convince myself that im strong enough to just turn off any feelings or emotions that i have. i was wrong. i dont have control over it. so now wut do i do? umm...i have no friggin clue. there’s nothing to do. there’s no point in doing anything. maybe i should jus slowly back away. or else jus leave things the way they are. yeah. jus leave it the way it is. no complications. no drama. no nothing.

p.s. if there was gona be a second down, im pretty sure it’s not gona be me. believe me. haha.

p.p.s. giving someone mixed signals is not cute.

p.p.p.s. u know wuts sad? i found myself eating cookie dough lastnite. thats the best food one can turn to when theyre down. haha.

TIRED - is what i am right now after debut practice. i thinks its coz of gradnite still. aww i had fun at gradnite. even though we dint get to ride mucho rides (coz i gave up after splash mountain...the best picture evah with maria, cool fartnah, and christine heehee)...the clubs were fun too i guess. with naomi teaching me her moves wahaha im a raver at heart...and who could forget my fun driving times with bel aawwrite. it was all fun till we had to wait for friggin bus for 2 hours. ugh no. jai took me home. slept from 8am till 4pm? i think. that was nice.

saturday went to bj's grad lunch at toto's...that was fun and interesting times...chelle, ray (the two people who better stop giving me looks) and keith were also there. yaay. after that went to the mall with ray (who better stop the interrogation)...got boba...spilled it on my shirt grrr...ray got him a shirt...i got a liquid eyeliner yaay...then went to practice. tita johannes wasnt there so melissa ran practice yay. i was tiiiirreeed. tried to take a nap...dint work...fun ride home with maria n bj...got home...got interrogation from my whole family....aye im tireed.

TIRED - ive been feeling this lately...physically yes...emotionally yes...lol ayee mom's buggin so ill continue this later byebye

man o man o man life is full of surprises i swear to god.

I JUST GRADUATED! aaww i still cant believe its over. my last day of finals was the day i felt a whole mess of mixed emotions. i couldnt believe its over. no more issue briefs...no more cuentos "aye chihuahua"...no more timed writing...no more force or work formulas...no more killer bio lectures...no more scary zaphiriou...its over!

class day was ayt...i dint cry as much as i was expecting...well i dint rilly cry...i was teary eyed...after that was some fun driving times with sue to get our shoes..maaan people need to go go go go go...after practice went to payless..sue bought shoes..i bought slippers of course...and then chilled at chelle's. of course what else would be funtimes but the question game. maaaan how come everytime i play this game i get picked on. so now everyone knows grrreat. but its all gud coz now i feel like i have nothing to hide nemore. lol. thanx chelle for putting me on the spot. awww bel thanx for not freakin out all the way...lol... maria's gona be the next one to be picked on i swear.

after that was our farewell dinner at school. ohmahgod i was hunggrrrryy...rite maria? hell yah. there was a whole slideshow with a poem and speech from mr manion and ms hill. aww and the fun picture n video times. wahahaa i have to see the video.. went home..tried on my dress...woah too white for me.

june 5 ...graduation! sue picked me up to go to practice..then picked up chelle n maria...got there and couldnt believe we were gona be the ones up on stage....maan aww we were so good that we were dismissed early...and sue over here was pms-ing...its ayt sue.
got home..tried to take a nap...i did for like 30 mins...got ready at 4 lol...but finished jus in time...

sue picked me up and we practiced our songs in the car....oh maaan never again. got there...cant believe thats the day...kinda excited...a bit nervous...but its all gud...finally marched..aaww a lot of people came. the ceremony itself went by perty quickly. i thought we sounded great. yay. i got my diploma woohoo! four years of hard work and i get a piece of paper orrrite. after the thing i saw everyone...aaww thanx for EVERYONE who came and gave me gifts! especially kamille!!!! ohmahgod ring sister ur too cool! yay u surprised me i was so happy u came! thanx for the fun gifts! i love u ring sister! thanx kamille n ian yay! im not gona name everyone who came and gave me a hug coz i mite forget people...but u know who u guys r and thanx sooo much for comin to grad... i love u all!

after grad jus went to in n out with mom dad and lil cousins coz everything was closed. but its all good. aww i havent spent quality time with my lil cousin in a while...happy that they came to see their ate graduate =).

got home...too tired...thinkin about how graduation went. it was perty cool. im gona miss immac. but there's one more day left of fun bonding times with everyone...gradnite. yaaaaaay!

i jus read chelle’s and maria’s blog and both songs mad me wana cry...

the real last day of class...wednesday...may 29...i was thinking of ditching but decided to jus go...maan mr. mcclellan and ms. conklin were the two teachers who almost made me cry...iono why...at the end of the day everyone was all happy...but i was jus feeling mixed emotions...oh yah after school was my last real after school funtimes with sue. *sniff sniff*

finals are here...and i feel like im the only loser who has finals all three days...ggrrrr... but wutever...i cant wait to get some real sleep after all this is over. man i still have a paper due on sunday...ggrrrrr help meeee.

saturday was fun. went to loyola grad early...sue picked me up..picked up maria..and then we were perty early..so we jus chilled in the car...and finally decided to walk...saw lots of immac people...sat together...that grad was looong..too many speeches. after the ceremony congratulated peoples yaaay theyre freeeee.....and i will be too on wednesday...=)...then had to go to practice right after...

- tried to fit in chelle’s car
- got to aprille’s
- went to choochoo’s...fun quesadillas w/ meat
- dint start practice till 3
- broke sumthin at aprille’s...soweee aprille!
- tiring practice ended at 6
- HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: drove keith’s car LOL...sowee keith, ray, and maria =)
- went to the mall to buy stuff
- got home....too tired.....

sunday...baccalaureate mass...okai iono how to spell it i know...yay i was a euchraistic minister...man why cant people finish my wine..that was fun...after the mass i dint rilly wana go to mitch’s party coz i know ima get in trouble...my mom may say “it’s up to cressa”..but in reality she means...NO..i jus know it....BUT THEN.. when i got home...i guess my mom took pity on me and said, “if u rilly wana go u can.” waaaaaaaaaaaah.... oh well. sorry shar, bel and sue! dont worry...we’ll party hard at maria’s next weeeek
baybee...woohoo!

messages to people....

sue: ur welcum about saturday man...even if i had to F#@! someone id do it just for u...LOL JK

bel: aawww beeeel gave bestfriend a hug on saturday.....funtimessssssss

shar: ima steal ur camera i swear

chelle: fake smile! i say get to know this boy chelle....and teach him to be bad ...and also..bestfriends are for life coz u know theyll be there for yah whenever u call

maria: man o man we have got to schedule our happy day....

cool fartnah: oohhmahgod u need to have a moment of sober-ness i swear

keith, ray , and maria: dont worry....ill never touch the wheel ever again