Kiss Me Kate with the E4L crew on Friday night and then In N Out. That was kinda weird since we didn't have our usual Denny's atmosphere with Omar. Anyways, got back to the apartment and helped Rona make Gazpacho for Pam's bday. It surprisingly went well. Good job Rone!

Saturday was homeless outreach. I wasn't gonna go to LA with them because I reallly needed to study, but they needed people and I thought, what's more important, missing a couple hours of studying or feeding a starving person on the street? And so I went. It's the same feeling every time. It was slap of reality in the face. It hurts and it's real. After that, I had the best date with the most beautiful person alive *wink*. Kalesa Grill and naptime. Who can ask for more? Thank you again, beautiful. See, our time finally came.

Saturday night, helped David cook Spanish Croquetas for Pam's bday. It was pretty good, despite the fact that it was still "cheesy" in the inside. Haha. But goodtimes, goodtimes. Went to Pia's for Pam's spanish bday dinner. It was sooooooooooo good. We had the tapas of course: calamari, croquetas, gazpacho, and this salmon on bread topped with breadcrumbs, and sangria. And then we had the oh-so-good paella. Then port wine with the brownie dessert. And last but not the least, churros con chocolate. Oh man. Dude. All of these was made from scratch btw. It was the best dinner ever. Man o man. Then we went to Pam's dorm for yet another surprise. Yay Pamela! Hope you had a good time you deserve it all! I love you. Didn't feel so good afterward so went straight to bed.

Sunday, went to noon mass, back to the apartment for lunch, attempted to start studying which kinda worked but not really. Too many distractions. And now, Monday, I'm at work, "working".

Finals week and I have a love-hate relationship. I love it because it's pretty much a chill week, but not really. I hate it coz, well, it's finals week. It just sucks because everyone seems to be done Thursday while I'm not. Dengit. I'm thinking of being in hiding this whole week. Just go far far away where no one knows where I am and then just pop out of nowhere when it's all over. Maybe that will push me to study. Eh wutever.

I'm sick.

I'm sleepy.

I'm tired.

But I'm alive. Yehey.

Wow this post is kinda blah.

Okai, I need to get my study on foreal. Payce.

I think I'm gonna screw up my gpa this quarter. I just spent this whole week attempting to finish my paper (NOTE: attempting) so that I don't have to stay up late the night before it's due. Of course I ended up finishing at 4am, five hours before it's due. Yeah senioritis.

I'm done with finals on the last day at 3:30pm. So if you're done waaay before that, don't come near me until Friday at 3:30pm or else you will get hurt.

I will apologize in advance for not being able to come to the LA Marathon. I know I suck but I just can't afford to not study on Sunday. I'm so sorry! I will be there in spirit, cheering you on. I swear!

On Wednesday, my Tagalog kids did skits from the movie "Dubai". I was so proud and impressed I wanted to cry. Okai jk. But seriously. They all make me so proud. Talagang solid! Hahaha.

So I remember talking to a friend about opening up to people and telling them your problems, thoughts, feelings about anything. And I told her the reason why I don't open up to some people is because I don't think they would care about what I have to say anyway. It's not a diss to them or anything, it's just how I feel. I don't open up because I don't really think it matters to them if I do. And that's fine with me. Sometimes. Coz I already know who I could turn to when I needed them. I also realized that the ones who I don't really run to to tell my problems are the ones who are very open about their problems to me. I mean I'm thankful and flattered that they trust me with all that. But sometimes that's what holds me back from telling them about my life. I feel like I have to be the stronger one, the one who takes it all in and absorbs everything. Anyways...

I'm not going home this weekend coz it's finals week. I really like going home because I get spoiled at home. I also like spending time with the family because they always make me laugh. Even though they always call me fat. Haha. I love, love, love, love, love and did I say love, hearing my parents laughing when they're talking and making fun of each other. Makes me feel good to know that someday, when me and my sister are all "grown'd up", we know that they will be fine.

Random thoughts...

Apparently, I've been spoiled too much (not by my family). I guess I was. Not anymore though. And it sucks.

People bug me. I need to be more patient.

Instability scares me.

Wow I'm kinda broke.

Mmmmmmm ube ice cream.

I hate the rain.

I'm gonna end this post with a song that I thought I would never ever hear again after high school Mary's day. But No Joke sang it beautifully and I could listen to it over and over and over and over again. Amen. Haha.


Hail Mary
Full of Grace
The Lord is with you
Blessed art you among women
And blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus formed in your faith
Ave Maria Alleluia
Jesus formed in your love
Ave Maria Alleluia

Ave Maria
Gratia plena
Dominus tecum
Benedicta tu in mulieribus
Et benedictus fructus ventris
Ventris tuae, Jesus.
Sancta Maria
Mater Dei
Ora pro nobis peccatoribus
Nunc et in hora mortis nostrae
Amen.

I was never really good at affirmations. First of all, I never know what to say to the person. Second of all, I don't know how to react to anything said about me, good or bad. Lastly, sometimes I feel like it's more of a confrontation than an affirmation, and I'm never really good at confrontation either. I'm the type of person who keeps everything in, won't say a word about what's bothering me, until someone tries really hard to pry it out in me. There are some people who don't need to try hard to do that. But there's still others who need to keep trying until I finally say something.

Anyways...

Okai I admit it. I've always had trouble committing to anything. Which is funny when I think about it because I've always thought of myself as someone very reliable in anything that anyone asks of me. I guess I'm not? Or maybe being committed to something doesn't necessarily mean being reliable. I'm not even sure if I'm making sense right now. The reason why I don't commit to anything sometimes is not because I don't want to. It's because I don't want to promise anything and then break that promise later on if something comes up. This might only make sense to one person so I'm sorry if I'm not making sense right now.

Whatever...

So I seem to get myself in certain situations only to realize later on that I don't know how and why I'm in it. I want to think that I get myself in them for a reason, and hopefully those reasons are worth it. But I can't help but wonder why. There has to be something there that makes me want to stay. I hope I find that something soon.

I'm averaging four hours of sleep every night and it's not gud (even though I would still say "that's guuud"). I'm always late for my 9am class on MWF. How am I supposed to survive having an 8am class next quarter? I don't know. But I just have to suck it up and deal with it because that's what I do.

I haven't hung out with Liwanag people in a looooooooooooooong time. I feel a little detached just because I'm so caught up with everything else I'm involved in. I shall make up for it soon. I miss those kids foreal.

Friggin Pamela made me think about things that I didn't really care about before. You suck Pam. I don't think I can put it on here, but it just makes me wonder sometimes. Yeah pulling a Meechy. Hahaahaha.

My car is dying. Slowly but surely. Man. Now my parents are gonna blame me for it. But it was already dying in the first place. Dengit. Window adventures are always fun right Daniel? Dude, I was sad about that caramel empanada foreal.

Fatty fattness is all I see when I look at the mirror (And all I hear at home. Ugh.) Someone drag me to the arc please (*cough* David *cough*).

I think I need E4L and roommate dinner soon. It's been too long.

I realized that I have yet to break down the walls that I put up around me when it comes to relationships.

Blessed sacrament at Our Lady of Lourdes, you've been home for the past two weeks. Thank You.

Blog dedications are hot. Haha. Thanks for making me smile like this :D.

Congratulations to PASS for another successful Conference! We are way cool kids.

Chomp and Black Star Canyon night funtimes kids.

Thanks for an awesome (somewhat scary) Friday night David, Rone, Arnold. I lost a button from my shirt. Not cool. Maybe that's why I was super cold. Haha. I have a bruise on my left arm and I have no idea why. I think one of you guys might have caused it. Goodtimes, goodtimes.

Dude, pics coming soon foreal.

Yeah Santa Barbara! Goodtimes all the time with the PASS kids of course. It's weird how I never really realized how much they all meant to me till this weekend. They're just an awesome bunch of crazy kids who ALMOST made me cry this weekend (haha they were good tears though, good tears) but I just held it back because it's not my time to cry yet. Watch out when this year is over. That's when the tears will come. Haha.

Do you ever have those realizations about yourself that you, somehow, already know about, but on some level, you never really acknowledge it until someone points it out? No? Me either. Haha jk. I had one of those this weekend. I had interesting one-on-ones with some friends over the weekend and I was telling them about what's been going on in my life. It was interesting how they all said the same thing about how I am as a person. I felt like they knew me more than I knew myself. Which is both good and bad I guess. Good because I feel like the people I trust the most really know who I am. Bad because, well, I guess I don't know myself after all. It just made me think about a lot of things, and I get really sad when I think too deeply into things. That's another reason why I try hard not to think about things too much. But then again, not thinking about things that bother me is unhealthy. Because one day I know one day it will all build up and then I wouldn't know what to do. I don't know. Whatever.

So I didn't go to church this weekend coz of Santa Barbara. Not good. Mass has been a routine for me ever since I was little. The only reason why I would miss it is I absolutely can't go because I have to be somewhere over the weekend. I usually go to mass at home because I'm almost always home over the weekend. I kinda miss going to church at Interfaith because I really feel at home there. But either way, I know He's really present during mass. Liwanag retreat has opened my eyes (Wow irony right there. Get it? No? Okay. Haha.) to the beauty of the mass that I never really knew before. It's such a painful but beautiful thing. Man, I can't even describe how beautiful it is. Dude, yeah. No words.

Thank you for listening...again. You have no idea how much that means to me. No idea.

Roomie I haven't talked to you in soooo long. You know, our "talks". *sigh* I miss you.

I love my mommy. Haha. Sorry random.

Wow I'm getting pretty good at this blogging thing lately. Good for me.

Pics will come up soon!

I need to work now foreal. Payce.

Can I just grant myself just this one time to be a girly girl? It's my post-Valentine's mini-post so please just bear with me. It's just this one time I promise. Haha. Are you ready? Okai here it goes...

I loved the surprise. It was perfect. I wanted to cry but I didn't want to ruin the make-up. Haha jaykay! I absolutely have no idea why I deserve to be spoiled this way. But really, no one has ever done that for me before and I felt really special. Aaaahhh thanks so much for everything. I'm still in awe of the truffles from scratch. Really, I'm not over it. You're just plain awesome. Thank you!!!

End of the girlygirl-ness.

This quarter is going by way too fast. I'm so behind with all my classes and it worries me that I'm not really worried. Oh well. That's seniorities for yah.

Been thinking about what life would be like for me a year from now. It's scary, but I'm kinda excited too. As Pam said, "Aren't you excited to have a career?" I guess I am. Of course it's scary because it's such a grown-up concept. But it's something to look forward to I guess.

Liwanag retreat was just woah. Woah as in...ionow...woah. Haha. Can't really describe it any other way. I'm glad I went. Actually I'm more than glad. I'm grateful I went. Been reminiscing about how I got to where I am in my faith. I remember, my first year in Liwanag was definitely when I had my "spiritual high". It was the most awesome feeling in the world. To be able to appreciate life a lot more and to have that sense of fulfillment in completely trusting in Him. Letting Him lead you to where He intends you to go and fully surrendering your whole being all for Him. No questions asked. No doubts. No worries. It was the greatest feeling in the world. It was in the summer of my sophomore year when I decided to become involved with a lot of other activities on campus. I was bombarded with all these responsibilities that of course I chose to do, and it somehow gave me a sense of security. Security in knowing that I was doing something valuable with my time and energy. It wasn't until junior year that I realized how much I've been so distracted with all these responsibilities that I've lost touch with my faith. It was such a struggle trying to get back on that "high". I want to say I tried hard to get back on, but I would be lying. The end of junior year wasn't exactly the happiest time in my college life. I had a lot of internal struggles that I needed to let go of. So naturally, being only human during this low point in my life, I turned to Him for help. I asked Him for forgiveness. Forgiveness for when I lost sight of Him because I was too selfish to think of anything or anyone else but myself. Before I left for D.C. this past summer, I was afraid to leave because I was sure that I would let distractions take over my life once again. I prayed so hard, asking Him to help me keep Him close. And I did. I dont think I would've said yes to becoming a servant leader if I didn't pray so much about it. I had a lot of doubts about myself in becoming a servant leader. I didn't quite understand why they picked me. I didn't think I had what it takes to become one. But I realized that it wasn't about me. It was all for Him. So I said yes. It was my first real attempt to getting back on.

Someone once told me that once you reach that "high", it's just natural to fall down and break. She said that it's almost impossible to have that awesome feeling again, that "spiritual high". But then I thought, "spiritual high" doesn't have to be that awesome feeling that I once had. Constantly trying to go through that struggle of completely trusting in Him is the high. Falling down numerous times is the high. The little sacrifice that you go through for Him is the high. Being blessed and broken is definitely the high. It's those struggles that make it all worth it because there is no struggle that can't be won through Him.

End of my inspired post.

Anyways...

Yeah PASS retreat to Santa Barbara this weekend! Pictures coming soon! Maybe when I get back. Have an awesome three day weekend my babies. Payce!

Dude, I've been wanting to blog foreal I swear. There's just so much I want to blog about but I would probably take a lifetime to write it all out. So I tried to sum it all up in one word and that word is...drum roll please...FAITH. Yes, faith. Faith in Him, in other people, and myself. But as Manjie puts it, I'm gonna "bust a meechy" and be vague in this post because I have class right now and I am not one to miss class so there. Yes, I'm bo-ring I'm sorry. Maybe I'll be inspired this weekend and post something meaningful. But for now, that's all I have to say. Payce my babies.

P.S. HAPBURDY SUE!

Me-and-Sue-time at The Grove during Christmas break
Me and my lola Christmas day
Me and my lolo on New Year's
The cousins with lolo and lola
Me and my Dad on Christmas day. He might have been a little drunk.
Me and mom Christmas day
>Inseparable cousins
Me and sis at Roy's for my bday with the family
My birthday ice cream cake! Yay!
Sushi on my bday bday
E4L on my bday bday
Pretty flowers I got for my bday heehee
Liwanag at D&B's for my bday
Hot Sierra ladies at D&B's for my bday
Beautiful Liwanag ladies
Patron shot!
UCDC posse
Si-erra
Triangle
More Si-erra
Me and Cristina
Me and Gladys
Me and Christine
Me and Pam
Me and Rone
Me and David
Aww ROOMMATE!

Many, many, many thanks to everyone for the birthday greetings and presents! My multiple birthday celebrations were all awesome of course because of the family and friends. You guys rock. And of course I can't forget to thank Him for giving me another year to enjoy the countless blessings I've been given. Thank You! Oh yeah, one last thank You for making my grandma better. The best news I've heard this weekend is that she's going to the mall to go shopping for shoes. Yay lola's back in action!

Christmas/Bday Wishlist
- Carolina Herrera 212Sexy (thanx roomie!!!)
- Mamma Mia! (ohemgee thanx manjie!)
- Rainbow sandals (thanx tsai!!!)
- F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Seasons 6-10
- Little Mermaid or Beauty and the Beast DVD
- RENT Movie Soundtrack (thanx daniel!)
- coffee/lunch/dinner date (thanx jeff!)
- capo for my guitar (thanx cousin!)
- super cool bangles (thanx pam!)
- milky way midnight
- big, huggable stuffed toys (thanx bj!)
- white lilies (thanx jeff!)
- gift cards: forever 21, nordstroms, urban outfitters
- surprise me!

Got this from roomie's blog. Enjoy.

Boredom at work

(X) smoked a cigarette - I haven't done it in a while though. Yay me.
(X) smoked a cigar - Roomie's debut hahahahahaha.
( ) made out with a member of the same sex - Well, not really made out. So no I guess. Haha.
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(X) been in love
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
(X) snuck out of house - Wow never again.
(X) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back - Always.
( ) been arrested
(X) made out with a stranger - No comment.
(X) gone on a blind date - No comment.
(X) lied to a friend - I'm sorry. It was prolly because I didn't want to hurt them.
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) been to Europe
(X) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
( ) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(X) eaten Sushi - I'm craving it now.
( ) been snowboarding
(X) met someone in person from the internet - No comment.
( ) been moshing at a concert
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
( ) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow man
(X) had a tea party
(X) flown a kite
(X) built a sand castle
( ) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(X) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
(X) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set
(X) felt an earthquake - When I was little, I was on my bed and I thought someone was shaking it hardcore.
(X) touched a snake
(X) slept beneath the stars
(X) been tickled
(X) been robbed - My Little Twin Star pink wallet when I was seven. Couple days later I found it in the trash can in the school bathroom. Yawk.
( ) petted a reindeer/goat
(X) won a contest
( ) ran a red light
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car accident
( ) had braces
(X) felt like an outcast
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) had deja vu
(X) danced in the moonlight
(X) hated the way you look - Most days
(X) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
(X) been lost
(X) been to the opposite side of the country
( ) swam in the ocean
(X) felt like dying
(X) cried yourself to sleep
(X) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers - No, but I want to!
(X) sung karaoke
(X) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) made prank phone calls
(X) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose - No worries it was water.
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) danced in the rain
(X) written a letter to Santa Claus - And then Santa wrote me back! With my mom's hadnwriting though. I got confused.
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(X) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) blown bubbles
(X) made a bonfire on the beach
(X) crashed a party
(X) gone rollerskating
(X) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
(X) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis in public
( ) ate dog/cat food
(X) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
(X) sang in the shower
(X) had a dream that you married someone - I might have. I don't remember.
(X) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(X) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(X) sat on a roof top
(X) screamed at the top of your lungs - Every Tuesday night.
(X) done a one-handed cartwheel - Man I used to be able to do those so well.
(X) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(X) climbed a tree
(X) had a tree house - My dad and uncles made it for me and my cousins when we were little!!! I miss that tree house.
(X) are scared to watch scary movies - But I watch them anyway
(X) believe in ghosts
(X) have more than 15 pairs of shoes - But I only wear 3 of em
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
( ) played chicken
(X) pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on - My friend's house in the Philippines during my goodbye party.
( ) been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(X) been easily amused
(X) caught a fish then ate it - I didn't catch it myself though.
( ) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard you cried
(X) cried so hard you laughed
( ) mooned/flashed someone
(X) had someone moon/flash you
(X) cheated on a test
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(X) forgotten someone's name
( ) slept naked
(X) French braided someone's hair
( ) grown a beard
( ) skinny dipped in a hot tub

I'm going through the cycle again. But this time, it seems to be going faster. I need to slow it down or else it will all be gone too soon. I think I want this one to work out this time.

YEAH FINALS WEEK!!! I love finals week! I love the atmosphere around campus with everyone studying to the point of delirium and all that good stuff. I never really reached that point this week though, just coz I wasn't really taking my stats final seriously. But I'm officially done with my last fall quarter. Yay!

So far, I already got one of my grades for one of my management classes. And I got a solid A baybeeeeee! I'm so happy!!! I haven't seen that letter in a looooooong time. And I just found out that my group in my Advertising class won for the best presentation! Wow I'm so cool right now. I think I shall throw a party for this. Heeeheee. JK.

Speaking of party, my birthday's coming up (*cough* January 3 *cough*) and I'm not too sure what I want to do this year. I know I don't want the party at the apartment deal because I'm just too old for that now. Or I'm just too lazy to deal with all of that madness. I kinda just want to go out somewhere for dinner and then have some drinks but then that means only the oldies can go. So we shall see what can be done. Any suggestions anyone?

Recap of funtimes last week and this week:
- Tagalog potluck with my kids and Jiedson.
- Wish I could've stayed longer but I had to leave early
- I love those Tagalog kids mucho
- Daniel's 3-part birthday hoopla: RENT, BJ's, Elvis Karaoke
- I was good all throughout RENT and BJ's but then I started getting really sick in Elvis. Damn that sucked.
- Got home around 3am about to die
- I was looking forward to going to Homeless Outreach the next day but I couldn't get out of bed. That was not fun.
- Didn't study for finals at all during the weekend. That was fun.
- Late night at Pipin
- Beach at midnight with the PASS-ey (get it? PASS-ey = possey! hahaha okai fine)
- "I need someone to take me to the hospital" scare from a friend. Not a fun scare.
- Girly movie night: When Harry Met Sally, Anastasia, 13 Going on 30. Wow.

I made this analogy and I've concluded that chick flicks to girls is like porn to guys. They live vicariously through it because it's just too good to be true. I watch all these romantic comedies because I figured, it never happens to me so might as well see it happen to someone else. Although in the back of my head I'm thinking, gag me now can this be any cheesier? It's just too perfect it's nauseating. I've always been the pessimistic, cynical, ugh wutever type person when it comes to lovey dovey stuff. I didn't used to be. It's because over the years I've come to a realization that being in a relationship isn't always about prince charming sweeping you off your feet and living happily ever after forever. There's always the ugly stuff that comes with it. Problems, fights, disappointments, hurt, etc. I guess I was too focused on the ugly stuff that it made me into this cynical, heartless girl. Haha okai maybe not heartless, but you get the point. Sometimes I just laugh at the corniest chickflicks just thinking about how dumb they are. The thought of all that romantic stuff happening to me is just non-existent and whenever I come close to it, I try to laugh it off or just ignore it like it's nothing because I stopped believing in that kind of stuff a long time ago. But lately I realized that maybe I shouldn't just brush it off. That maybe if I believed even just a little bit of it, I wouldn't be so bitter about a lot of things. Maybe I will be able to appreciate the little joys in life a lot more. Just a thought.

Wow okai that was long. I shall blog again when I'm in the mood maybe I'll come up with something longer. Time to collect the Tagalog finals coz time's up. Haha.

Have an awesome finals week to those who are not done yet! And for those who are done, holla!

People have tried to surprise me before but somehow I always knew about it before it happened. But this one time, I actually was surprised. That was the best one I've gotten so far. Thanks =).

WARNING: Long and pointless entry. It's more like a novel really, not an entry. But if you're that bored, then go ahead and proceed.

Liwanag Benefit Concert was awesome possum as always! This is my third one so far, and it just keeps getting better and better each year. Makes me kinda sad to think that this was my last benefit concert, hopefully only as an undegrad, and not the last one ever. Thanks Christine and Gladys for supporting you guys rock!!! And the other Immacers who have always gone since the beginning you guys are awesome. Truly felt His presence there. Amen, I do believe! Yay!

That Friday started off pretty bad just cause I was dead tired from my stuff that week. I woke up that Friday just thinking about how long that day was gonna be, physically and mentally drained from everything. I had work 9-11, Tagalog discussion 11-12, mandatory office hours 12-2, needed to finish work or else I would've gotten my ass whooped from 2-3, needed to study for my 4pm test from 3-4, took a test 4-5, decided to go back to the apt to pack for the retreat and showered 5-6, benefit prep time 6-7, benefit concert 7-11, left for pass vegas retreat 12midnight, didn't really get much sleep in the car, got there around 3:30, slept at around 4:30am. Wow.

PASS Vegas retreat was funtimes all the time of course. I love those crazy kids. Highlights: scotch tape, not really getting enough sleep on the way to vegas, pancakes, seafood buffet, hot tea, embarassing moments, fond memories, reverse gavel pass, magic mic all night, hot bedroom pics, "I can still see you!", "gum" stories, good talks, candy, mixed drinks, strip at 5am, freeezing weather, sleeping at 7am, steak and egss at 4pm, sleep all the way back. Goodtimes goodtimes.

And then there was Thanksgiving break! I was looking forward to seeing family since I haven't been home in two weeks. Can you believe that?!? Two whole weeks! Wow. I'm so cool. Haha. The cousins and grandparents were over the entire weekend. Of course we went shopping the whole day Friday. I feel like all I did was eat and go shopping. And sleep in between. Goodtimes. Of course there's always drama that comes with the family, so that sucked a little. It was also kinda sad to see my grandma so weak after getting out of the hospital. I'm not used to seeing her like that. It just makes me sad. But her condition is definitely bringing the family closer together. So I'm thankful for that. Just prayers for my grandma please.

Highlight of Thanksgiving weekend: The ladies (My lola, aunt, mom, me, sister, and two cousins) talking all night long after dinner on Saturday night, about the most random things. My mom of course was mostly the one yapping away about anything and everything. It was really fun just sitting there with them, talking and laughing and sharing stuff that we never really did before. I love my family soooo much I just wish it was always like that. That was a great way to end the weekend. Loved every minute of it.

So I thought I was a busy person. But I guess there's other people who are busier than me. Haha. It's all gud though. Sometimes I just wish there was more than 24 hours in a day so I could spend more time with those I really miss.

I have two finals this Thursday, and I haven't started studying. I'm pretty much screwed as always. So this week will be hell, and if you see me and I don't seem too happy, you'll know the reason why. Bleh.

Christmas/Birthday wishlist is coming up soon! If you're really dying to get me a gift right at this moment, feel free to contact me whenever. Otherwise, watch out for the wishlist either here or on my profile. That is all. Haha.

Yay I got pumpkin pie!!!

Time to go to class. Payce.

I’m at work as usual. I realized I only blog when I’m at work. I’m not liking work very much these days. I actually got in trouble today. I’m really sad but not as much as I thought I would be. I knew something had to go wrong with my life. Haha.

These past couple weeks progressed from hell-ish to not so hell-ish. A couple weeks ago, I was so overwhelmed with everything, I just thought couldn’t handle it anymore. So I had a mini-breakdown during Rainbowfest in the middle of ring road. So that was a little embarrassing. I blame it on someone who just had to tell me the saddest news on the day I was already stressed out with life. Maraming salamat. And then later on that night I found out that my grandma was in the hospital. I think that was what finally triggered it. I was supposed to study for a midterm that night too, and I tried. But I did horribly bad. Oh well.

The following week was a little better. I don’t think I would’ve survived without everyone who have always been there for me. I took comfort from the simplest things that each and everyone of you have done for me. From making me laugh, to making me cry, even checking in to see wutsup. That’s where I find Him, and that’s when I’m most happy.

My long weekend was actually pretty fun. Friday I went to JFAV (Justice for Filipino-American Veterans). That was the first time I went, and it was so awesome to see so many young people fighting for a cause, not for their own benefit, but for the benefit of the Filipino veterans who sacrificed so much for this country. Saw an old friend who I haven’t seen since welcome week, who needs to cut his hair and not be awkward. Haha.

Friday night was the Liwanag sleepover. That was another goodtimes. I wish I had more energy to stay up and bond with the homies, but I was just too tired I knocked out. I actually got a pretty goodnight sleep. I wish I always woke up to those crazy kids singing. Then I would always start my day with a smile.

Saturday, got back to the apartment, and then had to go meet up for a group project around noon. I wasn’t really focusing the whole time coz I was too excited for PUSO’s Medical Mission Gala that night. Haha. Oh well.

So Saturday night was gala! It was awesome possum times all the time. And I could honestly say, it was waaaaay funner than both junior and senior prom combined. I swear. Actually maybe just junior prom. Hahaha. Whatever. I had fun. Thanks to the awesome promdate for being such a gentleman sometimes and for the much awaited flower. Even though you didn’t top my roomate’s date’s flowers. I actually wanted lilies, but now you know that for next time. Haha JK geez I’m over it. First of all, firstly…can we just?

Sunday was bleh. Monday started out bleh, but got a little better later on. Tuesday was confession night and PCN workshops. Yay I’m doing Kordilyera. So exciting. I don’t know what I got myself into, but we’ll see how it works out.

So last night was my second time going to confession with Father John Francis. He told me something that I didn’t think would come from him. But it made me feel better. Thanks father for saying the right words at the right moment.

Dude I had so much more to blog about but I forgot. I need to be productive now. I wonder when my next entry will be. Anyone wanna guess? I’ll give you a cookie.

Random thought of the day…
Have you ever fallen asleep with someone, wake up in the morning only to find that they’re gone, leaving you there like a cheap hooker? It already happened to me twice in the span of one month. This has got to stop.

wow i suck. i need to seriously update.

Awesome awesome past week! It was my chill week believe it or not, since I only had one test and one essay to do. And I was quite productive the weekend I was here so I didn't have to do much the whole week. This week though, is not gonna be so chill. Even though my boss isn't here for the whole week (come visit me! SEI room 226!) she left me a bunch of stuff to do. Two midterms and Tagalog tests to correct. So fun!

Last Thursday I was studying for my stats test on Friday. But of course, what did I do after? I went to D&B's for Pia's birthday. Awesometimes. Haha. Thanks Pam and Rob for driving! I did okai on the test. I hope. If I didn't, then oh well. My bad. Then on Friday went to Octoberfest for a little bit, chilled with the homies, cooked chicken for the homies, and then went to Knotts Scary Farm for the first time ever. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, but then maybe it was coz there were too many people that night. I had my scary moments though so goodtimes. Got home home preeeeetty late. Like 5am late. Thank god parents were already sleeping. I don't think they heard me come in. If they did I wouldn't have seen the light of day. Thanks again Jeff!

My whole weekend was semi-productive. I was so tired from Friday night I couldn't really function the rest of the weekend. But it's all gud coz I needed it before it gets crazy this week. Yaaayuh.

I've been having identity issues. I mean cultural identity. I would blog about it but I don't think anyone would understand. I mean I don't even understand what's going on with me. I'm so confused. Haha. Ahh wutever I'll blog about it when I could actually articulate it.

So I was talking to Christine about the cycle that I'm so tired of going through. You know, the cycle. When it happens, it starts messing with your head. You think it's something, but then it's really nothing. I hate that. Why should I even bother starting? Why, Cressa, why?!?!? So dumb.

Oh btw roomates, another one of my highs last night was our highs and lows talk. I love you guys.


So to make this post a little bit more longer and pointless, here's a survey:

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
My hair. I go ooooh when I just woke up coz I like my hair when I just woke up. After I wash it it's bo-ring.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
Five dollahs. I don't like carrying cash so that's a lot of cash for me.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST":
Chest?

4. Favorite planet
The earth.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell?
My sister

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?
It's called digital signal and it goes...tananannnanananaanananaanaannn. And then there's a moaning sound in the end that goes uuuugggh. I'm serious.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
Light blue AE sweater that I got from roomate Christine.

8. Do you "label" yourself?
Yes, dumb girl.

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing:
Moss. (Wannabe Rainbows from Target).

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Dark. Even when I'm reading.

11. What do you think of the person who posted this before you?
I've seen roomate's first and she's aaaaayt.

12. Ever "spilled the beans"?
Oh was I not supposed to?

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Prolly watching tv with Rona and David. Or chillen with them outside. Or having fun roommate talks. I forget what time those things happened.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
"i dont know where she is but eryone said dat the flier says ht starts at 7 but ders no end time"

15. Do you click on pop ups?
No, but my mom does.

16. What's a saying that you say a lot?
Apparently it's....aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhmmmmmmm.

17. Who told you they loved you last?
My mommy

18. Last furry thing you touched?
I guess I would have to say my panda too.

19. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
I have this disposable camera that I've had for two years now and I've totally neglected it since I got a digital. Sorry hi-tech.

20. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days?
None

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
I've enjoyed 14, 18, 19, and 21 so far.

22. Your worst enemy?
Carbs.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Liwanag first meeting of the year.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"You don't be stupid too."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?
A million bucks. I need a cool new sweater and jeans. And a car. I've always wanted a truck. A big one. And Carolina Herrera Sexy 212 perfume. Hey, it's almost Christmas! Wishlist will come soon. Oh and of course I need money to buy all my loved ones presents. I don't think I've had any major regrets. Actually, maybe I do but I wouldn't really call them regrets. They're life experiences that I've learned a lot from.

26. Do you love/like someone?
Yes.


Oh btw I updated my pics.
www.photos.yahoo.com/cressa_dot_com
New pics: Dale's Bday, D&B's with the homie, Pia's Bday


See ya later kids.

Picturetime! Random pics from random funtimes. Enjoy!


Chillen by the pool


The loverly cousins


Dale's birthday at D&B's...with my short hair =)


September babies


The family


Immac!


The homies at D&B's

I didn't go home this weekend! For the first time in ten million years! Isn't that amazing? I think so. I decided to stay just because people were always always always giving me a hard time about never wanting hang out with them on the weekends. So I stayed. But then they didn't even hang out with me. Wut the heezys dude. Oh well. Sux to be you.

I went to AIDS walk LA yesterday! I wasn't exactly looking forward to waking up at 7am and walking 10kilometers for the rest of the day. But it turned out to be funtimes all the time. Saw couple people I know and also saw my two lovely cousins. Man, I love my PASS kids. They never cease to amuse me. Went back to the apartment, took a nap, went to church at Interfaith after the longest time, and then had a board meeting that night that lasted a little bit longer than I thought. So I couldn't go to Liwanag benefit concert practice. Sucks to be me. But it's all gud. Maybe next time.

I never realized how fun aim conversations could be. I never rilly went on aim that much. I mean I'm always away when I'm on. But I think from now on I'm gonna go on it more just for fun. Ima do it roomie-style - aim all night long. Haha jk roomie.

Oh yeah Adrian and I finally have our Liwanag family! I'm so excited! It's gonna be an awesome year I could tell. I love seeing new faces and getting to know them more.

Almost forgot to mention, Friday night was gudtimes. It was a little weird but gudtimes overall. Oh those crazy kids haha.

I was gonna blog about something more meaningful but work is over so it's time to go to class.

Until then, payce my babies.

I've been on a Lifehouse high for a while now. So here's to the addiction...

All the stars are out tonight it feels as though I might
Make some sense out of this madness will it turn out right
Who's to say where the wind will blow

-Chapter One

Tell me all the dreams that you have
Let slip right through your hands
Do you feel lost inside of someone else's life

-We'll Never Know

All in all it's just another day now
You're falling down
What you gonna do
Standing on top of the world tonight
No ones looking back at you
Stand tall
It's gonna be just fine
You're holding on today

- All In All

I was sitting in one of my Management classes yesterday, completely phasing out the professor, because all I could think about were all the reponsibilities that I chose to take on this quarter. I sat there listing all the things I have to do in my head - all ten million of them. It was a never-ending list of responsibilities that I, of course, chose to do. Sometimes I ask myself why I do what I do. But even then, I feel like I don't have the time to answer my own question.

Before I left for D.C., I asked for His help. I told Him that I have grown closer to Him in the past couple years, and I don't want to lose sight of Him, as I part from the family who has been so close to my heart, because they have taught me so much about Him. I was really excited when I found out that there was a church right across the street from my apartment in D.C. The first thing I looked for was the blessed sacrament. It was the first time I went to the blessed sacrament by myself.

I remember when I was younger, my mom would always insist that we go to the blessed sacrament first thing on our birthday. It was really the only time besides church when my family would all pray together. But now that my sister and I are all grown up, it's harder for my mom to keep us close to her. She tries really hard though and I love her for that.

So I tried to go to the blessed sacrament in D.C. as much as I could. It was where I could just sit and talk to Him. Everything in that city just seemed so fast paced. People are always rushing to be somewhere, running to catch the subway to go to work, even rushing to go back home. Amidst all the hustle and bustle of the city, the blessed sacrament is where I found solace.

I was struggling with the question that was looming over my head all summer. It was the question that I thought and prayed about so much it was already apparent what my answer would be. I would go to the blessed sacrament asking Him for guidance and strength for me to say it with great conviction. And finally, the time came. The question was asked and I finally said my Yes. Without hesitation, but full of conviction. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be after all.

Now I realize why I do what I do. I chose it for a reason. It's inevitable to feel disheartened at times, but it keeps me grounded. A very close friend (who prolly won't read this) told me something that I've always known but never fully realized until she said it. Thanks homie. I may be physically tired from everything I have to do, but I know He constantly fills me with the strength to go on.

Oh yeah, one thing I forgot to update on was my hair. So I cut my hair. Short. Really short. Shorter than what I wanted. Shorter than the picture that I showed her. Damnit. But it's growing though! I could feel it! And yes Christine, it would be just the perfect length when it's time for senior portraits...I hope. I miss my long hair. My girly hair. It's like a part of my girliness was taken away from me. Bwahaha oh man okai I'm stopping right now.

I've always liked Welcome Week. Some people would say otherwise, but I enjoy it because it's when I see most people who I don't usually see during the school year. It's like one big happy reunion before school starts. Gotta love it. I also got to meet new faces and make new friends and meet people from my old school! That was exciting. It's also a week of anticipation before all the first meetings of clubs and organizations. Which makes week one exciting for me too.

Speaking of first meetings, the first meeting for Liwanag was awesome of course. I was actually really excited and that was the one thing I looked forward to that Tuesday night of week one. Meeting and getting to know fresh new faces who share the same passion and faith as I do...what more could I ask for? Thank You.

PASS's first meeting was also great. I was a little overwhelmed by the number of people who were there. Not that I wasn't expecting that many people to come out, but yeah actually I wasn't expecting that. Haha. I thought it turned out pretty well, considering the turnout of our paid members. Dude. Awesometimes. Good job my babies I'm so proud of you all. Bonfire was of course goodtimes all the time. Thank you to everyone who came out and showed support I love you all.

I had a heart to heart at the bonfire with a really good friend of mine, and he made me realize a lot of things that I have always known but have avoided for the past year. It's not the first time the subject has come up, but hearing it again from someone else makes me think about it more. It just seems like there is only one way to handle it, but in reality I don't even know if I would be able to handle it.

A very wise friend once told me, "That's a good step. It's a good step towards moving on with your life. That's exactly what you need." I agree. It is exactly what I need. The question is, is it what I really want?

"Let's go back, back to the beginning, back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned..."

Damnit I don't know why this song has been on my head for a while now. I think it's coz of frigin Laguna Beach. Man, I hate that show. That's why I watch it sometimes. Heehee. My Super Sweet Sixteen is growing on me too. It's pretty fun watching those kids. It's annoying in an entertaining kind of way. Especially Divo. Oh man.

So I'm back. I haven't updated in so long. I already forgot what happened since the last time I blogged. Let's see if I could reminisce...

D.C. overall was awesome. My last two weeks over there weren't the greatest because me and the roomie got really sick. But of course that didn't stop us from partying it up. It was kinda sad how broke we were towards the end of the trip. But I thought it was all worth it. I'm fosho gonna miss the cool people I met over there. On our last day in D.C., I was so excited to come back home. I mean yeah I'm gonna miss D.C. and all, but I could just feel that it was time to go back. So I'm back!

I was chillaxin at home the first couple weeks. I didn't want to move back Irvine just yet. It was kinda hard accepting the fact that I'm going back to the same old routine I had before D.C. School...work...club stuff...school...work...club stuff...school...work...club stuff. See, even you got tired reading that. I needed time to adjust back to my life here. It was hard but I got over it. Now I'm kinda excited for this year. THE last year. Yeah, I'm kinda scared too, but just seeing all you guys again made it a easier for me to want to be back.

I thought I was gonna have a chill senior year. But looks like that's not happening. Being the diligent student (haha yeah right), the bitch at the same old work, pass financial vp aka "mom", liwanag servant leader (I'm scared but excited), and a Tagalog tutor, is hard work but it will be awesome. Yes it will be an awesome year!

I’m halfway through my D.C. experience and so far it’s been awesome. I’m loving my job right now, despite the fact that I don’t get paid or reimbursed for transportation. I was never really a “political” person or whatever you might call it, and I still don’t think I am. But working here makes me want to learn more, and maybe, possibly, consider pursuing a career in politics. No, not running for office. Maybe working at the district office in California where they handle more grassroots issues, where I’d feel much closer to helping the people of the district. Now that would be awesome. But a lot could change in one year. I’m too scared to think about it, so I’ll just go with the flow wherever it takes me.

I imagined myself living in D.C. and working here after graduation, and I just couldn’t picture it. I’m sure it would be a “growth” experience or however you wanna put it, but I guess I’m just too chicken to go through with it. If you know me pretty well, you know how much I love going home to see my family. I don’t think I could handle living in D.C. knowing that my family is ten zillion miles away. Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving D.C. (except for the weather) and all its glory. There’s so much to do, so many places to go, and so many people to meet. I just don’t think I’m ready to spread my wings that far. Maybe someday, but definitely not at this point in my life.

I've been thinking a lot about the future lately, and its both exciting and scary. Not just career-wise, but everything else that comes with it. It actually depresses me sometimes but what else is new. Haha jk. I'm just wishing and hoping that everything will fall into place when it should.

That's all for now folks.

Until the next adventure.

I miss you all.

"In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do."
-Anonymous

Somewhere In Between
by
Lifehouse

I can't be losing sleep
over this, no I can't
and now I cannot stop pacing
give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out
if my mind would just stop racing

cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
this cannot be happening

this is over my head
but underneath my feet
cause by tomorrow morning
I'll have this thing beat
and everything will be back
to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

cause I'm waiting for tonight
and then waiting for tomorrow
and I'm somewhere in between
what is real and just a dream

would you catch me if
I fall out of what I fell in
don't be surprised if I collapse
down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this

cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
this cannot be happening, yeah

cause I'm waiting for tonight
and then waiting for tomorrow
and I'm somewhere in between
what is real and just a dream

You are Proverbs.


Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Hhhmmmm.

Btw, I updated my pics.



New pics from:

Baltimore, Chelle's 21st Birthday, Colonial Williamsburg, D.C. Apt, 4th of July, Girls night out, Weekend with cousins, White House

I miss you all!

D.C. update!

I seriously felt like I went out every night my first week in D.C. But the second week, dude, I was jus too tired to function when I come home from work. So basically this past week was a very chill and inexpensive one. But this weekend was not. My sister visited for the weekend and rented a car so she took us to more tourist-y places that we wouldn't have gone to if we didn't have a car.

But before all that, we celebrated our friend's 22nd birthday Friday night. We ate dinner at Luigi's and headed to this club called Lulu's. Funtimes funtimes. We came with a lot of people from Irvine too so that was goodtimes.

Saturday, I wanted to go to that concert to support poverty in Philly with a bunch of other people. But it's all gud coz sister already planned stuff so she took me and chelle to Baltimore, Maryland and took us out to eat at Phillip's Seafood to eat well, seafood. It was a little pricey so of course sister paid for it. Goodtimes once again. Then we walked around the harbor, took pics with the crabs, and other stuff. Goodtimes. Got home and was too tired to go out. Oh well.

Sunday, sister,her friend, her family, my sister's friend's friend, chelle, and me, went to Colonial Williamburg which is in Virginia. It was a two and a half hour drive so that was great. Saw a bunch of Colonial people and houses and buildings and other stuff. Haha okai I have pics so just look at it. Ionow how else to describe it.

Monday, Fourth of July was a basically a very special day for me and the roomie. It is the day when we bought our mini ipods! Yes, yes, yes I finally gave in. I told myself I wouldn't buy one, but it will be extrememly useful during my metro rides to work or wherever. So that was the highlight of the day. That and the fireworks at the washington mall. A bunch of us went to go see the fireworks. I have videos of it! It was awesome coz we were super close but it was a little scary coz I felt like it was gonna hit us. But it was excoiting.

So it's back to work again my friends. I love work and all, but I just needed a break after two weeks. Interns are usually the tour guides for constituents who call in and want to tour the capitol. So if you're gonna be in D.C. this summer, and you live in Santa Ana, Fullerton, Garden Grove, or Anaheim and Loretta Sanchez is your congresswoman, call the office and and schedule a tour and I will gladly give you a tour!

Until the next adventure homies. Payce.

So I had my first semi-exciting evacuation of the Capitol. It was fun standing around outside with some "important people". Me a some other interns were wondering what was wrong and this was e-mailed to staff the day after:

The United States Capitol Police are responding to an Aircon Red Situation. The current Aircon condition is Aircon Yellow. At this time no entry back into the buildings is permitted.

Evacuation of the Capitol and selected House building was due to a Beach Super King Air 350 Turbine aircraft entering restricted air space from the Northeast squawking improper code. It was off its flight plan and was not in communication with air traffic control. As the aircraft continued toward the Capitol area, USCP went to AirCon Orange. As the aircraft entered the inner flight restricted zone the USCP went to AirCon Red and ordered evacuation of the buildings. Aircraft subsequently turned to the left and was intercepted by U.S. Customs Aircraft and was directed to land at a local airport. The pilot is being interviewed by law enforcement personnel.

Man I love D.C.!

To the dearest roomate...

This is two days late because even though it's summer I'm still on procrastination mode. So here is my attempt to say I'm sorry that this blog burfday shoutout is late, and part one of your gift is not ready yet. It will be I promise. I just need to "check with my accomplishments".


HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY
MICHELLE MAE ESPIRITUSANTO OBUSAN!!!


I only have one wish for you. But I can't say it here coz it won't come true. Well I can't say it ever because it won't come true. So you'll never know what my wish is for you. Do you wana take a guess? But if you guess it right I can't tell you coz it won't come true. So then just shuttup. jk!

Neways, this weekend is hardcore partytoime my friend. Get ready. It's gonna hurt a little bit, but don't worry it's a good sign. Haha. I promise I will give you part one of my gift soon mwah I love you!

Age of 1st real kiss: 14

Band you are listening to right now: Sonicflood

Crush: OH MAN

Dad's name: Cesar

Easiest person(s) to talk to: The old roomates I guess

Favorite ice cream: GREEN TEA! and choc chip cookie dough, anything with brownie

Gummy worms or gummy bears? worms all the way baybee. unless the bears are chocolate covered

Hometown: Manila, LA!, Northridge...I can't pick one. You pick.

Instruments: Trying to learn guitar. I don't have it here with me though. I'm sad.

Junior high: Poveda. It's actually grade 7. Haha. Yeah Philippines.

Kids: 2-4

Longest car ride ever: Hmmm...vegas? Yeah I haven't been on a real road trip. I had the longest bus ride though. 12 hours going to Santa Cruz, and another 12 hours going back. That hurt.

Mom's name: Fe aka Pepot

Nicknames: Cress, Cre, Pssst, Hoy, Sis, Insan, Casin, Crek, Cre-Cre

One wish: World peace.

Phobia[s]: heights, car accidents, shady people on the street

Quote: Happiness is a journey not a destination.

Reasons to smile: YOU

Time you woke up today: 10am

Unknown fact about me: I was in the hospital for a couple weeks when I was 7 and I had no idea what was wrong with me because they never told me.

Vegetable(s): Anything tempura. Salad veggies. I used to like squash so much when I was little that's why I have good eyes.

Worst habit: sleeping late and complaining how tired i am all the time

X-rays you've had: Hmmm.

Your least favorite person as of right now? That's not right haha

Zodiac sign: capricorn. erogenous zone: knees. wut the heck is that.

I'm here I'm here! Yes I'm officially in D.C. for a week. So far, everything's good. Been working hard and so far everything's been fun at work. I finally met Loretta Sanchez and here's how part of the convo went:

Loretta: So where are you from?
Me: I'm from LA. My family lived in Hollywood but we moved to Northridge last summer.
Loretta: Hollywood. Like Vine? Isn't that like...dark...and like...skanky. That's danky.

She's fun.

So far I've seen Senator John McCain in the elevator (yes he was right in front of me!). I wanted to see Senator Barak Obama (he's apparently an awesome speaker) but not all the interns got in since everyone wanted to see him. I made my first tour of the capitol to some constituents from Garden Grove and Santa Ana yesterday, and I don't think I've ever talked that much in my life. I've also been answering hate calls in the office from people who say mean things about Loretta. That's exciting. I usually get off work at 6pm, so I get home and take a lil nap, wake up, and then the fun begins. Been spending a lil bit too much but I guess it's worth it. I'm a tourist so whatever. I'm gona blog more about the funtimes later. I'm too lazy right now.

I miss home. Sometimes. Haha. I do! Home = LA AND Irvine. I miss you all! But I'm loving D.C. so far so it's all gud. Come visit me and Michelle! We have a lot of room for everyone up in hurr. Okai time to go galavanting.

"The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back." - Felicity

It's time for a new chapter. It's time to make new memories. It's time to see what's waiting out there for me.

I will never forget this year.

Thank You for surrounding me with the most awesome people that have given me more than I've ever asked for. I never knew what I've done to deserve it all.

"You never really leave a place or person you love, part of them you take with you ,leaving a part of yourself behind." - Anonymous

Howie Day
Collide

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Dont stop here
I lost my place
Im close behind...

You finally find
You and I collide

On my parents' quest in search for my Starbucks doubleshot...

Mom: Dey ran out of in Albetsons n Starbacks. Ebrywan is buying it por finals kasi ha.
Dad: Why? Does it heb da answers to da test?

Gotta love my dad's corny Filipino jokes. Man.

Music Survey

total volume of music files on my computer:
5.15 gb. 99.99% of which are sappy love songs

last cd i bought:
man it's been a while. hmmm. a janet jackson cd. i think. i forgot.

song playing right now:
new kids on the block - right stuff (that's right wut)

5 songs i listen to a lot, in no particular order

stephen speaks - passenger seat
chris tomlin - we fall down
kelly clarkson - because of you
christian bautista - the way you look at me
dave matthews band - crash into me

pass the baton to five people:
- rona, who prolly won't understand what's going on
- pamela, don't get too deep now
- gladys, i know frankie j will be in the top 5 haha
- tsai, for being the future roomate
- alisa, damnit where the hell are you

All along the road less traveled, I have crawled and I have run
I have wandered through the wind and rain until I found the sun
The watching eyes asked me why, I walked this narrow way
I will gladly give the reason
For the hope I have today

I am blessed, I am blessed
From when I rise up in the morning
Til I lay my head to rest
I feel You near me
You sooth me when I'm weary
Oh Lord, for all the worst and all the best
I am blessed

Blessed
by
Rachel Lampa


I'm not very good with words, so that's pretty much everything I want to say right there. I want to say so many things but I can't put it into words. Right now, all I could really say is thank YOU.


"I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay."

I just realized how many drafts I have in my blog. I should really post those soon. Or not. We'll see. Anyways, I finally uploaded new pics homies.

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/cressa_dot_com/my_photos

That's all for now. Payce.

Ode to roomate

Michelle and I, we go way back. I don't know why she still wants to be my friend after all these years. JK. I know why. It's coz she loves me. It's okai. 'Coz I love her too. So roomate, this post is for you. Look how much we've grown. Well, actually I don't know if you grew. Taller I mean. I think I did. Okai maybe not. But anyways, it looks like we just keep getting hotter and hotter every year. Imagine what we're gonna look like next year. Haaaahaaaa okai I'm done. I love you roomate!


freshman year


sophomore year


junior year

Kinda true but not rilly...

Your Aura is Green Your Personality: You are a high acheiver who is very competitive. You're bound to reach your goals, no matter how lofty. You in Love: Picky with high standards, it's hard to find your match. You need a man as driven as you are! Your Career: You need a high profile, challenging career to satisfy you. Consider finance, sales, or running your own company. What Color Is Your Aura? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Sunset 

And the most pointless conversation is...

Chelle: What's your favorite number?
Me: Five
Chelle: Oh, really?
Me: Yeah.
Chelle: Oh I never knew that. My favorite number is six.
Me: Oh really.

____________________________________________________________________________________


Who wants one?

Me: It's like an std you know? Once you get it, it'll never go away. There's medication that can relieve it for a little bit, but it's always gonna be there.

Chelle: Yeah, and you can't see it either. So you'll never know if you have one or not.

Me: Yeah!

Chelle: I want one now.

Me: Me too.

hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What time is it? It's time to update! Well everything was just crazy these past few weeks. Well not rilly. Okai maybe a litte. Midterms, meetings, application after application after application, rejection after rejection after rejection, and finally, a light at the end of the tunnel! After all these weeks (even months) of looking for an internship in D.C. (Yes, I'm going to D.C. this summer to intern for the UCDC Program!!!) I finally got one!!!! I will be working in Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez's office! She's the Congresswoman for the 47th Congressional District of California (Anaheim, Fullerton, Garden Grove, Santa Ana). I'm gonna be working on the hill baybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Yes, I am overjoyed and I have the right to be because this whole process was seriously emotionally and physically draining. For me at least. I almost lost all hope and was thinking I'm gonna end up not going to D.C. and I will be a bum forever and ever. But I'm not! So yay! Now I'm excited!

You Are A Realist

You are more romantic than 20% of the population. When it comes to romance, you tend to take a realistic approach. You believe that love takes time, and it's something you have to work hard for. A bit cynical, over the top romance tends to get under your skin. Your heart is difficult to win ... but it's totally worth it.

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

Oh man.

Heartmwarming story of the weekend...well not rilly heartwarming but it made me smile.

On Saturday night, my mom asked me where I wanted to eat dinner. I said I want some sisig. But the Filipino place was far, so we ended up eating at some Italian place. The next day, I woke up and no one was home. Turns out my mom and dad went to buy ingredients so my dad could make sisig since I didn't get to have it the night before. And this is one of the reasons why I love home so much.

Complete
Stephen Speaks

If i lay my voice down at Your feet
would you still hear my song echoing
i might end this game of hide and seek
because in You

i am complete
oh in You
i am complete

all the voices i hear in my sleep
all the sins of my past echoing
to stay off my knees and on my feet
oh but they,
they can't complete
cause in You i am complete

i am complete
If i lay my voice down at your feet

That seduction style quiz thing is not true. I think. Haha.

Your Seduction Style: The Coquette

You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get. Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you. Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you compelte. And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Your True Birth Month Is January

Loyal Social Logical Easily jealous Loves children Rather reserved Highly attentive Likes to criticize Needs close friends Ambitious and serious Smart, neat and organized Hardworking and productive Loves to teach and be taught Quiet unless excited or tensed Sensitive and has deep thoughts Knows how to make others happy Searches for the greatest romance Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds Romantic but has difficulties expressing love Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses

What's Your True Birth Month?

This is what work makes me do...

Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about his appearance. Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you.

Your date match profile: Stylish - You cannot put up with someone who is lacking in style. You want an original, someone with flare, someone with good taste. Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw him out of his shell and get to know what he is all about. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Liberal 2. Stylish 3. Religious 4. Shy 5. Funny 6. Adventurous 7. Traditional 8. Wealthy/Ambitious 9. Big-Hearted 10. Practical

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Stylish 2. Shy 3. Practical 4. Conservative 5. Religious 6. Wealthy/Ambitious 7. Adventurous 8. Intellectual 9. Funny 10. Traditional

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

I tried but I just can't blog foreal. I guess I can now say I'm a coward. Goodnight.

Just when it seemed like everything was falling apart, Liwanag comes to my resuce once again. I could write about everything that Liwanag has unconditionally given me, but it still wouldn't be enough to show how grateful I am for having all of you in my life. Thank You.

Mayn I didn't think this survey was gonna be hard. So after ten millions years of thinking about what songs to put, here it is:

Opening Credits: "True" Spandau Ballet
Waking-Up Scene: "You Are" Lionel Richie
Spring Scene: "Always Be My Baby" Mariah Carey
Average-Day Scene: "This Will Be" Natalie Cole
Best-Friend Scene: "Whenever I Call You Friend" Michael Johnson & Alison Krauss

First-Date Scene: "I Can Love You Like That" All 4 One
Falling-in-Love Scene: "First Love" Utada Hikaru
Love Scene: "Take Me Away" Lifehouse
High Scene: "Sex And Candy" Marcy Playground
Hook-Up Scene: "Sharing The Night" Dr. Hook

Sex Scene: "Nice N Slow" Usher
Summer Scene: "Love Gives Love Takes" The Corrs
Fight-With-Friend Scene: "Heart and Shoulder" Heather Nova
Break-Up Scene: "There's No Easy Way" James Ingram
Get-Back-Together Scene: "Back For Good" Take That

"Life's-Okay" Scene: "Refuge" John Legend
Fall Scene: "The Look" Ryan Tedder
Heartbreak Scene: "Separate Lives" Stephen Bishop
Mental-Breakdown Scene: "Breathe" Prodigy
Driving Scene: "Crash" Dave Matthews

Winter Scene: "Baby It's Cold Outside" Rod Stewart & Dolly Parton
Lesson-Learning Scene: "Foolish Heart" Steve Perry
Falling-Asleep Scene: "Both Sides Now" Joni Mitchell
Deep-Thought Scene: "Honey and the Moon" Joseph Arthur
Flashback Scene: "Invisible Man" 98 Degrees

Party Scene: "Son Of A Gun" Janet Jackson & Missy Elliot
Regret Scene: "Freshman" Verve Pipe
Happy-Dance Scene: "Cherish" Madona
Long-Night-Alone Scene: "Somebody" Depeche Mode/"Heaven Knows" Rick Price
Spiritual Scene: "Take Me Out of the Dark" Gary V.

Closing Credits: "You Gotta Be" Des'ree

Song of the moment...


Let Me Go
By Three Doors Down

one more kiss could be the best thing
one more lie could be the worst
and all these thoughts are never resting
and you're not something i deserve

in my head there's only you now
this world falls on me
in this world, there's real and make believe
this seems real to me

you love me, but you dont know who i am
i'm torn between this life i lead
and where i stand
you love me, but you don't know who i am
so let me go
let me go

i dream we head to what i hope for
and i turn my back on loving you
how could this love be a good thing
when i know what i'm going through

in my head there's only you now
this world falls on me
in this world, there's real and make believe
this seems real to me

you love me, but you dont know who i am
i'm torn between this life i lead
and where i stand
you love me, but you dont know who i am
so let me go, just let me go

no matter how hard i try
i cant escape these things inside
i know, i know
but all the pieces fall apart
you will be the only one who knows
who knows

you love me, but you dont know who i am
i'm torn between this life i lead
and where i stand,
you love me, but you don't know who i am
so let me go
just let me go

you love me, but you dont
you love me, but you dont
you love me, but you dont know who i am

you love me, but you dont
you love me, but you dont
you love me, but you dont know me...

Scariest moment of my life...

Pam, Gladys, Rona, and I had a late dinner/super early breakfast on Thursday night/Friday morning, the last day of finals. We couldn't get in the pub because everyone and their moms were there, and Tigerheat didn't really happen because we kinda fell asleep. So Denny's was the place to be. After a nice and pleasant meal, we decided to go to RiteAid at 3:30am to get some stuff (yes, stuff). We got our crap, walked out of the store, and was stopped by an old man who seemed a little shady. He didn't come from a car or anything, so we figured he came from the street.

He stopped us and said, "Excuse me girls, I'm gonna have to ask you to do me a favor."

In my head I was thinking, it's either he's gonna ask for money or try to convert us to some religion or sumtin.

Then he says, "I have to show you something."

He shows us his hands, and I saw abnormally big-blistered and scary looking hands (Rona said there was blood but I guess I was too scared to notice) and then all of sudden we were flat-out screaming at his face and running back in Rite Aid. Everything happened so fast the only thing I remembered at that moment was Gladys tripping by the door (because it wouldn't open fast enough for us to run inside) and me thinking "OMG OMG OMG Rite Aid can't be closed it's 24 hours why isn't the door opening?!?! I will force this door open if i had to!!!

So we were hysterically telling the Rite Aid workers that there's this weird man outside, and we hella screamed at his face and ran, and that we're scared shitless. We went farther in the store and waited there while we watched the man go in the store and leave. One of the workers said he was jus asking for cigarettes and left. So finally we decided to leave. We were a little hesitant to come out of Rite Aid coz the workers said he's still out there. One of the workers said she doesn't know him personally but her sister does. She said he's been in the hospital or sumtin like that. They were all offering to walk us out to the car, but all the workers were female too so we were still kinda scared. There was this one guy in the store buying something and he looked kinda shady too but we walked out with him to our car. I was so scared that night that I had to sleep with Rona. I can't believe I'd be that scared. Hahaha.

So now I'm paranoid about random people in the streets trying to talk to you out of nowhere. I was at the grocery this weekend with my mom and there was this guy in the parking lot who looked a little shady. I told my mom to park on the other side because I was scared of the man. She's like, no we're fine just walk in the store really fast. I was a little hesitant to get out of the car, but I did it. I got in the store safe and sound. Mayn I think I'm scarred for life. I don't think I'll get over it anytime soon. I think I might need therapy.

_____Favorite_____
1. gum: ion't like gum that much
2. restaurant: anything asian, cheesecake factory
3. drink: lemonade, iced tea
4. season: summer
5. type of weather: sunny
6. emotion: happiness
7. thing to do on a half day: naptoime, tv, bumming around all day
8. late-night activity: cooking and chats with the roomies (I AGREE PAM!)
9. sport: i don't do sports sorry. i enjoy watching basketball though
10. city: LA!
11. store: bestbuy, linens n things, bed bath and beyond, forever 21, banana rep, nordstrom,

_______When was the last time you_______

12. cried: oh god
13. played a sport: hhmmm
14. laughed: a while ago
15. hugged someone: last night
16. kissed someone: last night
17. felt depressed: right now
18. felt overworked: finals week
19. faked sick: can't remember

___What was the last_______

21. word you said: "love you too"
22. thing you ate: gross salad
23. song you listened to: some sappy love song
24. last thing you drank: water
25. place you went to: bathroom
26. movie you saw: the ring 2
27. movie you rented: i forgot

_______Who was the last person you_______

28. hugged: my mom
29. cried over: aye
31. danced with: chelle? in our room? hahaaaa
32. shared a secret with: secrets don't make friends
33. had a sleepover with: oh god pam and rona i guess
34. called: bj
35. went to a movie with: Tsai, Gladys, Chelle, and David
36. saw: work people
37. were angry with: drama queens
38. couldnt take your eyes off of: Myself ... JAYKAY
39. obsessed over: i don't do that sorry

_______Have you ever_______

40. danced in the rain: naw
41. kissed someone: yes
42. done drugs: wait
43. drank alcohol: yes
44. partied 'til the sun came up: yes
45. had a movie marathon: sure
46. gone too far on a dare: hasnt everyone?
47. spun until you were immensely dizzy: yes

_______Play_______

55. i'm feeling: sad about my grades and dc
56. i'm listening to: silence
57. i'm doing: this survey instead of working
58. i'm talking to: no one
59. i'm craving: nuttin
60. i'm thinking of: how fat i am
61. i'm hating: everything

_______Love_______

62. love is: unconditional
63. my first love: that altar boy from my church when i was 13 haha
64. my current love: my digital camera
65. love or lust: love
66. best love song: oh mayn
67. Possible to be in love w/ more than one person at the same time: no
68. when love hurts: cry it out
69. is there such thing as love @ first sight: not for me

_______Opposite sex_______

70. turn ons: clean-cut, good dresser, mature, has goals and aspirations, strong faith, gentleman, smart, funnie, super tall, a REAL MAN haha, someone who can win my mom's approval (which is practically nobody)
71. turn offs: unsanitary, immature, drama-filled
72. does your parent's opinion on your gf/bf matter to you?: YES
73. what kinda hairstyle are you into?: always short, never long
74. What is the sweetest thing a girl/guy can do for you?: i have yet to find out
75. where do you go to meet new people?: school?
76. are you the type of person to HOLLA and ask for numbers?: nope


_______Picky Picky_______

77. dog or cat: dog
78. short or long hair: not too short, not too long
79. sunshine or rain: sunshine
80. hugs or kisses: hugs
81. summer or winter: summer
82. written letters or e-mails: written letters
83. nintendo or motorcycles: nintendo
85. house party or club: depends on my mood
86. sing or dance: both
87. freak or slow dance: depends on my mood

_______Lately_______

88. How are you today?bleh
89. what pants are you wearing right now?: jeans
90. what shirt are you wearing right now? an ugly one
91. what does your hair look like at the moment: straight as usual and down
92. what song are you listening to right now? nope
93. how is the weather right now? pretty
94. who was last person you talked to on the phone? mom
95. last dream i can remember?: i saw courtney cox and david arquette in a truck driving around a parking lot and i asked for their autograph and they drove away

PASS invites you to its first winter conference

"SurPASSing the Stereotypes"

Wednesday, March 9, 2005
6pm-9pm
Monarch Bay A & B

Guest speakers will be talking about the stigmas, stereotypes, societal and family pressures that Asian-Americans face in deciding a major/career of their choice. There will be workshops by the Career Center and R.E.A.C.H. (Reaffirming Ethnic Awareness and Community Harmony) and free food and live entertainment (KABA Modern, Hawaii Club, Kultural Dance Troupe, Break Dancing Club, and Chinese Association Martial Arts). IT'S A FREE EVENT SO COME CHECK IT OUT!

*Register online (www.passatuci.com) ahead of time so you could get in faster the day of.

PASS
Pilipino-Americans in Social Studies
www.passatuci.com

The Sacrifice of HIS Love

Liwanag's 6th Annual Spirit Rally
Saturday, March 5, 2005
4-7pm @ Crystal Cove Auditorium
UCI Student Center$3 Minimum Donation

*All proceeds go to Homeless Outreaches*

So my roomate kinda inspired me to blog about something real. I mean deep, intense, and raw emotions poured out. Haha okai maybe not. But I was thinking, what if I did blog about all the emotions or issues I've been going through? What if I just let it all out for everyone to read? I always wonder what will happen if I do. I'm scared.